General Discussion - Heartful truth or Lie?

[Mike Atom]

Guys,

Situ: You don't like somebody (or his work), who is supported by everyone near you, WITH STRONG AND SENSIBLE REASONS.
One day, you guys are talking about him, will you just express yourself straight forward or lying to them that you "are" on their side?

---

For years all the people I met simply choose lying to others. Once you challenge something that the major is supporting, you'll be "killed" no matter how reasonable you expressed to them. But that is not a way to learn and to improve. I feel tired of accepting fuss made by others. They don't even spend a little bit of time looking at my point of view.

What should I do? What do you think?

[J.A.F. Doorhof]

Alway's difficult.
I would for myself reason WHY I don't like him/her and will reason for myself why OTHERS DO like him/her. Maybe I'm oversensitive, if that is so I will stay nice and maybe not mention anything about him/her.

If I think I'm ABSOLUTLY right I will give the whole truth and not hold out on anything, I'm a very honest person, If I don't like you I will tell you and why. Because some people don't like this they will respond angry, but when you make sure you're right and can tell this than why be angry.

Honesty will go a long way, and MAYBE all those people are only supporting because they don't want to stray away from the flock, and I REALLY hate being part of a flock just to be part of the flock.

I'm a indiviual and like me or not, when you have GOOD reasons not to like somebody this is legit.

BUT NEVER EVER talk negative about someone arround theirs backs, that's really bad.

Hope this helps a bit :D

Greetings,
Frank

[John_T]

We're all human (whatever that is!), and subject to envy and jealousy which also tends to polarize our feelings about someone, whether we are aware of it or not. Other people also pick up on emotions of rivalry, envy and jealousy between two other people and tend be polarized toward one or the other.

I find the first step is for me to find honesty with myself, then be honest and open with others, and then see what comes back, which may or may not be the truth. Being nice is social oil, but I have never learned a thing from it, other than seeing how false some people can be. The first person you need to learn to like, understand and get along with is yourself, and when you achieve that, that determines how you relate to others. You come first.

[mrbobco]

it's an interesting point...and a common situation in artistic circles...

my basic rule is to never say anything about somebody that i would not say to their face. and before i say it...i imagine them looking right at me...and right into their eyes as i say it. that should add some reality to your actions.

talking behind a persons' back (especially in a malicious way) will only make YOU look the lesser...

bob

[robertwgross]

The truth is that you should try to shoot at f/8 and 1/125 of a second. All else does not matter.

---Bob Gross---

[justme_dc]

Tell the truth, you'll end up with less friends but the ones that stay are the only ones worth having anyway.

[CyberDyneSystems]

justme_dc wrote:
Tell the truth, you'll end up with less friends but the ones that stay are the only ones worth having anyway.

This is a good point... and take it a bit further and ask yourself this.

Is your problem with the one individual,. or is it with thewhole flock mentality? And thus are they truly friends at all,. or just a part of a flock?



I know it took me years to realize....

.........there is a staggering difference.

[ChrisNardone]

robertwgross wrote:
The truth is that you should try to shoot at f/8 and 1/125 of a second. All else does not matter.

---Bob Gross---
Unless it's slower than an f/4 lens, then think about f/11 if the light will support it.

[clos]

[quote]Mike Atom wrote:
Guys,

Situ: You don't like somebody (or his work), who is supported by everyone near you, WITH STRONG AND SENSIBLE REASONS.
One day, you guys are talking about him, will you just express yourself straight forward or lying to them that you "are" on their side?

I would do neither and keep my opinoin to myself.

Why in the world anyone would want to engage in such a conversation and cast aspersions is beyond me. It is neither contructive, positive, or productive. Who cares what you think of someone anyway? It is not dishonest to keep your personal feelings of someone to yourself.

IMHO talking about someones work is completely diferent. You can learn from such a discussion and can be a means to improve ones self or work.

Please do not take this personally I am just expressing myself straight forward.

-Clos

[rdenney]

Mike Atom wrote:
Guys,

Situ: You don't like somebody (or his work), who is supported by everyone near you, WITH STRONG AND SENSIBLE REASONS.
One day, you guys are talking about him, will you just express yourself straight forward or lying to them that you "are" on their side?

---

For years all the people I met simply choose lying to others. Once you challenge something that the major is supporting, you'll be "killed" no matter how reasonable you expressed to them. But that is not a way to learn and to improve. I feel tired of accepting fuss made by others. They don't even spend a little bit of time looking at my point of view.

What should I do? What do you think?

If English is your first language, they may not be understanding your point of view. I'm having a difficult time deciphering your question. Of course, if you are struggling with English as a second language, then my comment won't apply, and I'll assume the fellows you describe are working in the same language your prefer.

As for me, I try to avoid talking about people at all except to them. I keep my opinions of individuals to myself. If I'm with others who begin gossiping about a mutual acquaintance who is not there, I slip out of the conversation and walk away. Gossip is a killer.

When talking with people, I only praise their strengths unless I'm responsible for their behavior, in which case I give them direction about what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not. I never talk to people about their character; only their behavior.

If I'm in a position to evaluate the performance (especially artistic performance) of someone, I do so truthfully, but not brutally or in any way intended to cause harm. Many people denigrate artistic expression they don't like in order to magnify their own abilities, and this is not honest. If I'm not in the position to evaluate, then I judge their performance in terms of my own tastes, unless their performance can be measured objectively, in which case I report the results and don't make personal judgments.

See a pattern here? I don't talk about people behind their back. And I don't talk about people at all unless I'm obligated to by some authority granted to me over them.

I used to, and doing so has exacted an enormously high toll on past relationships. I have since learned at last to keep my mouth shut when it comes to opinions about individuals.

Rick "who can show you his scars" Denney