Zillion posts of the baby photographer joke, tripod joke, Canon joke

[Olli]

I'm in the need of 5D MkII ... so pre-order please if you plan to post this joke ...

[thomascanty]

Any member that posts this joke need to buy every moderator a lens/camera of his/her choice.

Can we extend this to senior forum members also? Like, anyone who joined prior to 2004, or something like that... :D

[tommykjensen]

Can we extend this to senior forum members also? Like, anyone who joined prior to 2004, or something like that... :D

Sure why not. You guys have suffered too :lol:

[Belmondo]

Can we extend this to senior forum members also? Like, anyone who joined prior to 2004, or something like that... :D
Phew. That would exclude me.

I personally think the joke should be mandatory reading for anyone considering membership here. They would then know they've seen it already, and would not be tempted to post it again.

[In2Photos]

You know about 5 hours ago the mod team introduced a new forum rule!

Any member that posts this joke need to buy every moderator a lens/camera of his/her choice.

Yipiiii. I want a 500 mm f/4 IS L lens. Ship it to Copenhagen :lol:
In that case...

Putting in my desire for a 500 f/4 as well. I presently reside in North Carolina. PM me for full address.

Thanks! :D

[thomascanty]

Sure why not. You guys have suffered too :lol:

Cool! Put me down for a 5D Mark II. :lol:

[PiRho]

Phew. That would exclude me.

I personally think the joke should be mandatory reading for anyone considering membership here. They would then know they've seen it already, and would not be tempted to post it again.

hahahahaha Tom I like your Idea best... (mostly because I don't qualify for a new peice of kit :( )
:lol: aaahhh to remember the day I first came across this thread conglomerate :lol: it was funny that once... now... that's a different story LOL

[Jamie Holladay]

300 f/2.8 IS for me please.

[DozerLYP]

Phew. That would exclude me.

I personally think the joke should be mandatory reading for anyone considering membership here. They would then know they've seen it already, and would not be tempted to post it again.

that's a great idea. when new member fill their application, put it in a scroll down window and the submit button at the bottom of it, to make sure they read it.

[Moppie]

Phew. That would exclude me.

I personally think the joke should be mandatory reading for anyone considering membership here. They would then know they've seen it already, and would not be tempted to post it again.


It would be possible to email it to all new members as soon as they sign up. :lol::lol:

[Mike]

It would be possible to email it to all new members as soon as they sign up. :lol::lol:

I think this should be a must! :D

[Jon]

Along with the $1 string monopod/tripod/image stabilizer (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=438215) - good idea!

[eddarr]

We should put together a package for all new members that should include:

1. This joke.
2. Instructions on search usage and capabilities.
3. Instructions on how to post pictures and avatars.
4. An explanation of what the TF does and a list of who has already been eliminated as possibly being the TF .
5. This joke.
6. Why Lightrules is famous.
7. $1 string monopod/tripod/image stabilizer.

Any other items that must be added?

[Mike]

You should add the disaster story - the one where you have a choice between saving [insert your choice of famous person here] or photographing the event and finishing by asking what film/lens/aperture/iso/etc you should use...

[LightRules]

We should put together a package for all new members that should include:

1. This joke.
2. Instructions on search usage and capabilities.
3. Instructions on how to post pictures and avatars.
4. An explanation of what the TF does and a list of who has already been eliminated as possibly being the TF .
5. This joke.
6. Why Lightrules is famous.
7. $1 string monopod/tripod/image stabilizer.

Any other items that must be added?

We can omit #6 here :mad:

[Jon]

We can omit #6 here :mad:At least he didn't include you twice in the list.

Probably need "The History of the Duck Shot" in there.

[eddarr]

OK a new list with a little more seriousness.

1. This joke.
2. Instructions on search usage and capabilities.
3. Instructions on how to post pictures and avatars (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=290249).
4. An explanation of what the TF does and a list of who has already been eliminated as possibly being the TF (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=437106).
5. $1 string monopod/tripod/image stabilizer. (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=438215)
6. The History of the Duck Shot. (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=582739)

[In2Photos]

OK a new list with a little more seriousness.

1. This joke.
2. Instructions on search usage and capabilities.
3. Instructions on how to post pictures and avatars (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=290249).
4. An explanation of what the TF does and a list of who has already been eliminated as possibly being the TF (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=437106).
5. $1 string monopod/tripod/image stabilizer. (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=438215)
6. The History of the Duck Shot. (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=582739)
I think someone is being rather serious about this. Even came up with all the links!:shock:

[Mike]

I think someone is being rather serious about this. Even came up with all the links!:shock:

:lol::lol:

[PiRho]

We can omit #6 here :mad:


I disagree. I think that as you are so much a part of POTN lore that you really need to be in there :( sorry but you started a trend...


There is something that is missing though... something about a couple of tripods in the desert ;) ;) (i'm gonna try not to name names *cough* *mumble mumble* *cough* )

[neilwood32]

I disagree. I think that as you are so much a part of POTN lore that you really need to be in there :( sorry but you started a trend...


There is something that is missing though... something about a couple of tripods in the desert ;) ;) (i'm gonna try not to name names *cough* *mumble mumble* *cough* )

I would have to agree that LR has to have an honourable mention within the list. Otherwise how would new people know what "doing a lightrules" is?:lol:

However i disagree on the tripod thing - no need to cast attention on one of our glorious moderators little errors (insert grovelling smiley here):p

[Belmondo]

I disagree. I think that as you are so much a part of POTN lore that you really need to be in there :( sorry but you started a trend...


There is something that is missing though... something about a couple of tripods in the desert ;) ;) (i'm gonna try not to name names *cough* *mumble mumble* *cough* )

One should never go tap dancing in a mine field.:evil::p;)

[PiRho]

One should never go tap dancing in a mine field.:evil::p;)

ooohhhh a minefield :D (what were we just saying about saving someone or captiring the event...) everyone better get their cameras ready... cause I know you'll wanna capture this :lol:








Wait a sec... I can't Dance!

(I tried once... failed miserably... no need to try it again. )

[Jim G]

heh, check out the jokes thread - this one's made quite a few appearances ;)

[PiRho]

WOOOHOOOOO! Karen welcome to infamy! looks like you didn't get banned yet :D

[zigphoto]

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to..'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good Did you know babies are my specialty?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs Smith fainted

[neilwood32]

Already has a thread devoted to it - http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showpost.php?p=142383&postcount=1

Still funny though:lol::lol:

[tupper]

haha, very funny :)

[Yiskah]

Making a baby. This is hilarious!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--


The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The moth er was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted


B Blest,
Yiskah

[Woolburr]

Stand by to be zapped into oblivion!

[kortag]

That is great... and I love that it was kept clean given the subject matter.

[eddarr]

I can't believe I've never heard that one.

[runninmann]

I can't believe I've never heard that one.You mean today :lol::lol:?

[breal101]

The title of the OP makes it even funnier, not very good detective work on this one. :)

[FOX2PRO]

Hah. Took me a minute or two to get that. :D

[PiRho]

ding ding ding... and another one bites the joke! LOL this has got to be one of POTN's traditions! :lol:

[YORCHI]

hahaha...great joke, I'll tell it to my friends

[gary88]

To find opportunities to post the baby photographer joke.

[skygod44]

To find opportunities to post the baby photographer joke.

Ok....you got me. Please do post it here.............................

[gary88]

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat "

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um... equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too heavy to be held in the hand very long."

With that, Mrs. Smith fainted.

[gary88]

Success is mine!

[400dabuser]

I think this is relevant to this site:lol:


Making a baby.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the
proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to.'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been
expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat!.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the
living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or
seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'


'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'


'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five
deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted

[PiRho]

congrats! :D

[Quad]

400dabuser that is very clever I never heard it that way before here is how I have always heard it (trying for 2 in a day)

Making a baby.

The Jones' were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the
proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, CDIfoto happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale as a door-to-door baby photographer.
'Good morning, Ma'am', CDI said, 'I've come to.'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Jones cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been
expecting you.'

'Have you really?' CDI said. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat!.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the
living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or
seven angles, I'm want you to have no regrets.'


'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Jones.

'Ma'am I don't want to give you any pressure but in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'


'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Jones quietly.

CDI opened his Crumpler and pulled out a portfolio of his baby photos. 'This is nothing I shoot porn as well,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Jones exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother got pissy with me because of my reluctance to use my clone tool.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Jones.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five
deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Jones, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', CDI replied. 'And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Jones leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my Gitzo and we can get to work right away.'

'Gitzo?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a Gitzo to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Jones fainted.
__________________

[PiRho]

ROTFLOL! very well done! hahahah

[neilwood32]

bw!At last a POTN version!!!

[S.Horton]

Sent by a friend today.


The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man
should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened
to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he
said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'


'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know
babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun.
You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'


'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try
several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
you'll be pleased with the results.'


'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out
in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'


'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.


'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with
amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and
when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'


Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can
get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

:lol::cool:

5.....4.....3....2.....1
http://midnightblue.smugmug.com/photos/519312419_ZJTGR-L.jpg

[S.Horton]

@Jake - Thx for moving this off to the right place.

I was a first-timer on that joke!



.......
I personally think the joke should be mandatory reading for anyone considering membership here. They would then know they've seen it already, and would not be tempted to post it again.

Uh-oh. So, now what happens? I've always been scared of the avatar that posted this.

[Jon]

I've banned people for posting it in the past . . .

[S.Horton]

I want redemption -- Can I report my own post as SPAM?

[Jon]

Sure - then I'll have another excuse for banning you :{)#

I got the money order, LR - Thanks!

[CyberDyneSystems]

Hasn't been posted recently, so why not let the newbs see it before they post it... ;)

[directorj]

I got this off another forum and I'm not sure if you guys have read this one before :eek:

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

[In2Photos]

Hasn't been posted recently, so why not let the newbs see it before they post it... ;)
You had to speak up didn't you! :rolleyes:
I got this off another forum and I'm not sure if you guys have read this one before :eek:
Nope, never seen it! ;)

[Woolburr]

And nobody got banned?

[directorj]

thanks for the move. omg i searched for the thread and couldn't find it. I guess I needed the right keywords

[gjl711]

thanks for the move. omg i searched for the thread and couldn't find it. I guess I needed the right keywords
You mean Canon and tripod didn't turn it up. :):):)

[fotoworx]

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a speciality of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

[gary88]

I love this thread bw!

[Jon]

thanks for the move. omg i searched for the thread and couldn't find it. I guess I needed the right keywordsWhat were you searching for? Nikon and Monopod? Sony and lightstand? Smith and Jones? I tried to use every relevant phrase in the title.
Zillion posts of the baby photographer joke, tripod joke, Canon joke

It's like the string tripod/string monopod/string image stabilizer thread (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=438215&highlight=string+tripod). No matter how easy you make it to find, someone will find a way to not find it.

[hairy_moth]

I'd hate for us to be off topic..
---------------------------------------------
The Jones didn't have any children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off, honey. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell with the hopes of making a sale.

"Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to....."

"Oh, there's no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Jones cut in.

"You have?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's exactly what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked a blushing Mrs. Jones.

"You just leave everything to me," he replied. "Usually, I try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for George and me," stated Mrs. Jones.

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. However, if we try several different positions, and I shoot from five or six angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I certainly hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Jones.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I would love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus in the downtown area," he proudly declared.

"Oh my word!" Mrs. Jones exclaimed.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, considering the fact that their mother was so difficult to work with," he said, handing Mrs. Jones the photograph.

"She was difficult?" Mrs. Jones asked.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Central Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing and shoving to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Jones, her eyes the size of saucers.

"Yes," said the photographer. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. It was very difficult for me to concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

"You mean they actually chewed on your, umm, equipment?" Mrs. Jones asked.

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod?" asked a very worried Mrs. Jones.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action."

"Madam, madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!"

[thomascanty]

Wow. It's been an hour already and that hasn't been moved to the baby photographer thread yet?

[LuFaiNe]

it's Canon related...enjoy.

Making a Baby... there is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away..'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted!

[Eliza Rain]

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife
and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang
the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning madam. You don't know me, but I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of
babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.
Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch
and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too;
you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try
several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and
out in five minutes, but you'd be
disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby
pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." "Oh my
God!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith
the picture.

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a
good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother
was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then
darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your,
er..,um.., ah.... equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we
can get to work."

"Tripod??" Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for
me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam? Good Lord,
she's fainted!!

(oh gosh sorry! didn't realize how old this was on here!)

[HarleyQuinn]

You guys haven't made this a mandatory read on sign up yet?

[Jon]

Pekka doesn't believe in cruel and unusual punishments . . .

[S.Horton]

...I'm in this thread somewhere. It is worse than being banished.

[Woolburr]

...I'm in this thread somewhere. It is worse than being banished.

Did you conduct a poll? :lol:

[HarleyQuinn]

Pekka doesn't believe in cruel and unusual punishments . . .

Or maybe he does? Maybe he'd rather thousands groan and do a desk/head slam as opposed to only getting one victim at a time?

[S.Horton]

Did you conduct a poll? :lol:

....oooooooo. Good idea. Thx.

[johnzzx]

I LOLed.