Photographers NEED to read this... Zillion posts of the baby photographer tripod joke [Archive]

CyberDyneSystems

3rd of February 2004 (Tue), 22:54

8) One for the photographers....

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...' 'Oh yes, I know why you're here. Harry told me you'd be coming soon.' 'He did? But I...' 'Come right in! No use wasting time .' 'Very well, then.'

The photographer took out his briefcase and sat down. 'As you may already know, I've made a specialty of babies.' 'Good, I'm glad,' said Mrs. Jacobs. 'That's just what Harry and I were looking for.'

'I usually like to try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed,' said the photographer. 'The living room floor is fun too...you can really spread out.' 'Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder it never worked for Harry and me.' 'Well, ma'am, none of us can guarantee a perfect one every time, but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I think you'll be quite pleased with the results.'

'I certainly hope we can get this over with quickly,' Mrs. Jacobs gasped nervously. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man must take his time. I'd like to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure.' 'Don't I know!' said Mrs. Jacobs.

The photographer pulled out a portfolio of his pictures. 'This one was done on top of a bus in downtown London,' he said, showing Mrs. Jacobs the picture. 'Oh my God!' exclaimed Mrs. Jacobs, tugging on her handkerchief.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider the fact that their mother was so difficult to work with.' He showed Mrs. Jacobs another picture. 'She was difficult?' questioned Mrs. Jacobs. 'Extremely,' said the photographer. 'I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around, four and five deep, just to get a good look.' 'Four and five deep!' Mrs. Jacobs was amazed. 'Yes,' said the photographer. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then, it started getting dark and I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels started nibbling on my equipment. I just packed it all in.'

Mrs. Jacobs leaned forward. 'You mean the squirrels actually chewed on your, um...equipment?' 'Yes, ma'am. Thank God, no real damage was done.

Well, we'll get to work as soon as I set up my tripod.'

'Tripod? ' Mrs. Jacobs looked extremely worried now.

'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God, she's fainted!'

SoCal69

3rd of February 2004 (Tue), 23:03

A very enjoyable read! Thanks for the uplift CDS!

Jesper

4th of February 2004 (Wed), 03:32

:lol: :lol: :lol:

jim monroe

4th of February 2004 (Wed), 05:55

There have been many humorous posts but this is funniest post I seen in 8 months reading the forum.
No attribution, from whence did this gem come?

Tom W

4th of February 2004 (Wed), 07:16

:lol: Excellent!

roanjohn

4th of February 2004 (Wed), 07:55

HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Great!!!

Just too funny!!!

Ro1

CyberDyneSystems

4th of February 2004 (Wed), 08:35

There have been many humorous posts but this is funniest post I seen in 8 months reading the forum.
No attribution, from whence did this gem come?

I don't rightly know it's origins.. but I lifted it from a fine young lady who calls herself "Sirius" who is an active team mate in a little thing called "Team Picard" which is a group of complete psychotics... much like myself,. who like to dedicate time and computer horsepower in distributed computing efforts like the Human Genome project,. Protein folding , the Search for Extra terretrial intelligence, etc....

If your interested, More info here;

http://forums.teampicard.com/

Tom W

4th of February 2004 (Wed), 08:39

You must be younger than I am - I'm from the "James T. Kirk" generation, though I feel like Captain Pike some mornings. :D

swampthing

28th of February 2004 (Sat), 04:59

Here's an email I received today....

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in..
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith...

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly?

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh ! my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief...

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed! on your um...equipment ?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.

Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

well it made me laugh!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

CyberDyneSystems

28th of February 2004 (Sat), 16:02

O love it! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ikinaa

1st of March 2004 (Mon), 02:59

Are photographer's jokes rare???

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=24548

CoolToolGuy

1st of March 2004 (Mon), 06:58

Are photographer's jokes rare???

Compared to golfer's jokes they are. :roll:

But I shutter to think about having more exposure in the joke world. :roll:

Have Fun
Rick 8)

Bruce Hamilton

1st of March 2004 (Mon), 08:22

But I shutter to think about having more exposure in the joke world.

Old photographers never die, they just take longer to develop.
How does a photographer light up a blonde? He puts a flash in each ear.

stopbath

1st of March 2004 (Mon), 09:28

A photographer took a self portrait in a park. Due to lighting conditions he used the built in flash on the camera. He quickly got arrested for flashing and exposing himself in the park.

swampthing

1st of March 2004 (Mon), 15:38

Hmm - CDS - I missed that post - it was the first time i'd heard the joke :roll:

Oh well, sorry if i'm boring you :oops:

DieselGirl

28th of March 2005 (Mon), 16:21

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in..
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith...

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly?

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh ! my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief...

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed! on your um...equipment ?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.

Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

CoolToolGuy

28th of March 2005 (Mon), 16:30

:lol: :lol: :lol:

In the film days, there was room in there for a line about Rapid Fixer with Hardener!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Have Fun,

tim

28th of March 2005 (Mon), 17:11

Great joke! :)

belmondo

28th of March 2005 (Mon), 17:15

A classic. ;)

TammieO

28th of March 2005 (Mon), 20:44

Too funny!

down_shift13

28th of March 2005 (Mon), 23:21

just what i need today! funny! :lol:

psk4363

29th of March 2005 (Tue), 01:31

PMSL:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Barry

Ikinaa

29th of March 2005 (Tue), 01:59

Posted about a year ago here (http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=26235)

But it's a good joke anyway...

I hope that there are more than one photographer jokes :cool:

sGu

29th of March 2005 (Tue), 02:55

Brilliant!

rpcm

29th of March 2005 (Tue), 08:43

Yes I like that one

OviV

21st of April 2005 (Thu), 15:15

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......"

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in." "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of

babies.

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too ....you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we

try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in

and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his

baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their

mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing

to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your um...equipment ?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work"

"Tripod??

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.

Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

Citizensmith

21st of April 2005 (Thu), 21:27

It must be at least 3 weeks since anyone posted this joke.

Wazza

22nd of April 2005 (Fri), 13:49

LOL, haven't seen that one before.

Citizensmith

22nd of April 2005 (Fri), 20:33

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=64734

Spot on, 3 weeks ago.

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=26235

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=24548

And about a year ago.

Its not that I don't appreciate the effort of posting the joke, I just wish it was one I hadn't read here so shortly ago.

Michaelmjc

23rd of April 2005 (Sat), 14:47

haha, thats great! Thanks for sharing.

cactusclay

23rd of April 2005 (Sat), 15:16

That was great.

OviV

25th of April 2005 (Mon), 14:16

Sorry Citizensmith,

I did not bother to search previous postings. I appologize for waisting your time.

Ovi

CyberPet

8th of August 2005 (Mon), 14:03

I'm a bit amused at bad jokes and I thought how about share some of our best jokes when it comes to camera and photography. Here's mine:

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to..."

Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

That's what my husband and I had hoped So, please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"

Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me!"

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ...of.....!!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith faintly.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling; I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your...um...equipment?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work"

"Tripod???!!"

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long.......Madam? Madam?...Good Lord, she's fainted....!"

:D :D :D :D

martook

8th of August 2005 (Mon), 14:13

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol:

Petra, you are a nasty girl! I like it! ;)

mkh

8th of August 2005 (Mon), 16:27

That was hilarious.

Citizensmith

8th of August 2005 (Mon), 20:29

You are a journalist on a job to get photos of the president visiting hurricane and flood victims in Florida. You watch in horror as the Presidents helicopter is caught in a cross wind and crashes onto a bridge. 1Ds Mk2 (with a 300 f/2.8L IS) in one hand and 1D Mk2 in the other (with a 16-35 f/2.8L ) you rush out across the bridge to the crash site. As you reach it, you see the president, clinging on for dear life to the side of the bridge, a certain death awaiting him below. You're the only person there and he calls out to you, he's easily within your reach. Your hands are full, and you must react instantly. So, the question is.

Which body and lens should you use considering he'll probably fall quite fast.

charlesu

8th of August 2005 (Mon), 21:02

So I'm in the studio the other day and a tall, voluptuous blonde comes by. She's wearing a simple summer dress that really doesn't leave much to the imagination and clearly shows her fasntastic figure and lovely long legs. She tells me she's heard a lot about me and my work. She's very excited to meet me. She asks me if I will do her a big favor and photograph her naked.

I think for a second and then respond with a simple question.

"Can I leave my socks on? The studio floor is a bit cold."

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

The sad thing is, this really happened. LOL

BenjaminAsher

8th of August 2005 (Mon), 21:06

I have a Canon 1D MKII. Even when I have a 550ex and a 70-200mm L White lens, people still ask, so what do you do for work?

I started saying "I steal professional cameras from photographers!"

I swear I get some of the best looks of stupidity before I explain I am a photographer. I don't understand why people ask? If Pro DSLRs were cheap, everyone would have one and they would no longer be fashionable.

Benjamin..

Curtis N

8th of August 2005 (Mon), 21:45

Benjamin,
I do hope you tolerate the well-intentioned questions.
Until a few months ago, I had no idea a white lens was more expensive than a black one, nor would I have known the first thing about the 1D MKII vs. the $800 300D, which I am seeing a lot of amateurs use nowadays. To the general public it just looks like a camera.

Non-photogs have no idea how much pro equipment costs, or why it costs so much.

MTalley

8th of August 2005 (Mon), 21:52

Were you using a tripod? I don't know how many times I've shown up somewhere, set up my lowly 300D and either the kit lens or the Tamron to shoot pictures and have had folks ask me if I'm a pro.

Maybe to the unknowing a white lens doesn't look as high-zoot as a black one. :: shrug ::

BenjaminAsher

8th of August 2005 (Mon), 23:16

Oh, of course I always say that jokingly! Usually when I am with my good friends, people they know walk up and ask that kind of thing. I have probably said that all of two times, but I was posting to a Photo Joke thread so my post was intended just as a joke.

More often than not, when I carry my camera into a friend's party that is not a payed gig, people will come up and tell me I didn't need to bring in the heavy artillery! LOL

Benjamin..

EOSAddict

9th of August 2005 (Tue), 02:43

Petra,

Thanks - that really set me up for the day :)

Ikinaa

9th of August 2005 (Tue), 02:56

Aren't there more than one photography joke?
The joke from Petra has already been posted another 4 times on this forum... :lol:

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=24548
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=26235
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=64734
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=69149

Ok... the joke is excellent, but there must be some more jokes

Rob612

9th of August 2005 (Tue), 04:45

This is not a joke, but real life. I know for sure that this story - or very similar - has been around the Net for years, and it may have happened several times in different places but I was there for sure and saw it with my own eyes. Anyway, here it is...

1987, I was working at the Eastman Kodak offices here in Rome. We did not had production here, only sales and support, so we had at the entrance, after the doors, both the reception and the demo/sales staff booths.

One morning, I was passing by the entrance going for a cup of coffee and a gentleman in his 40s came in, stopped me and asked to whom he should talk about processing. I addressed him to the right guy, his booth was right on my side. And the gentleman goes to my colleague, pulls out of his briefcase an EK VHS tape (in those years EK was just starting the videotapes business, at least here) and asks, very gently but very seriously if we could DEVELOP THE TAPE for him. I suppose you can imagine what happened... a big choral laugh at the expenses of the poor guy. I cannot forget his face :D Once explained everything to the poor guy, he made a good laugh out if it. It ended up that I personally gave him another set of tapes as a gift. :D Funny experience.

CyberPet

9th of August 2005 (Tue), 05:47

OK, here's a few more I found:

The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble Space Telescope photograph of distant galaxies colliding.
Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.

There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all.
However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost "I mean no harm - I just want your photograph". The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines - he posed for a number of ghostly shots.
The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed.
So what's the moral of the story?
The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

A photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park.
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air.
He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.
The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures."
"Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I am a photographer," he responded, "and photographers take photographs."
The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?

Claire

9th of August 2005 (Tue), 12:38

Ah, we needed a thread like this. :)

joeseph

10th of August 2005 (Wed), 00:41

Me: how long will it take to repair this 3 week old 20D?

Canon repair center person: between 10 to 15 days, there's a backlog at the moment.

(can't do nuthin but laugh.... :-P wasn't nearly as funny at the time!)

Mike Panic

25th of August 2005 (Thu), 07:18

this was fwd to me from a friend:

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said,
- I'm off. The man should be here soon.

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
- Good morning madam. I've come to ......"
- Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you, Mrs. Smith cut in.
- Really? The photographer asked.
- Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies.
- That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing,
- Well, where do we start?
- Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too .... You can really spread out!
- Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me.
- Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.
- My, my, that's a lot of ...gasped Mrs. Smith,
- Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure.
- Don't I know it, Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
- This was done on the top of a bus.
- Oh my God!! Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
- And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.
- She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith,
- Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get then job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.
- Four and five deep? Asked Mrs. Smith,
- Yes widened in amazement. Yes, the photographer said.
- And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.

Mrs. Smith leaned forward.
- You mean they actually chewed on your ... um ... equipment?
- That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.
- Tripod??
- Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

Scottes

25th of August 2005 (Thu), 08:03

Amazing. This is the 5th time this was posted.

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=90698
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=69149
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=64734
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=26235

Wazza

25th of August 2005 (Thu), 21:09

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=24548

There's another one. :D

JakeC

25th of August 2005 (Thu), 21:13

hahaha, I hadn't come across it before.. it's gold :lol::lol::lol:

Bruce Hamilton

26th of August 2005 (Fri), 12:37

Amazing. This is the 5th time this was posted.

And probably almost as many times over at Fred Miranda (http://www.fredmiranda.com/).

Clint204

11th of November 2005 (Fri), 02:39

Hi All, hope the mods dont mind me posting a joke. Just got it and thought it was so appropriate for this canon forum.

The Baby Photographer....

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife and
said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang
the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning madam. I've come to......"

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of
babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two shots in the bathtub, one on
the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room
floor is fun too.... you can really spread out there!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me!"

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
sure you'll be pleased with the results." "

My, my, that's a lot of...of.....!!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd probably be very disappointed with
that, I'm sure."

"Oh, don't I just know it!" Mrs. Smith muttered.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures, "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith faintly.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to
get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Oh Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling; I could hardly
concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed
it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on
your...um...equipment?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so
that we can get to work"

"Tripod???!!"

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big
for me to hold up for very long.......Madam? Madam?... Good Lord, she's
fainted....!"

Wazza

11th of November 2005 (Fri), 03:43

Don't let CDS find this one.

Cracks me up everytime.

PhotosGuy

11th of November 2005 (Fri), 12:55

There is a "Favorite joke" thread. Here's another:

Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.

Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said,
"Don't worry. Someday your prints will come".

KevC

13th of November 2005 (Sun), 19:09

PhotosGuy: Maybe I'm suffering from lack of sleep, but I don't get your joke :embarassed:

gabrioladude

13th of November 2005 (Sun), 19:15

well I liked it...

"....some day your prince will come..."

PhotosGuy

13th of November 2005 (Sun), 19:36

We get so used to people misspelling that sometimes we just overlook the "obvious". ;)

bolantej

13th of November 2005 (Sun), 22:17

I dug it PhotosGuy.

Yours too, Clint.

Moppie

13th of November 2005 (Sun), 22:22

but I don't get your joke :embarassed:

I didn't entirly get it either, theres something about "film" getting "developed"????? Whats that all about? :o

johnnybfan

15th of November 2005 (Tue), 22:43

PhotosGuy: I don't get your joke :embarassed:

I didn't either. Was wondering what it meant. Guess I'm a little more dense than I thought.:confused::confused::lol::lol:

PhotosGuy

16th of November 2005 (Wed), 09:08

OK, say these aloud...
"Someday your prints will come".
"Someday your Prince will come".
I didn't expect that it would be that difficult! I guess that you just don't remember the old Disney movies. :D

Anteros

16th of November 2005 (Wed), 09:55

Funny stuff.

Thanks for the laugh folks.

KevC

18th of November 2005 (Fri), 08:17

Oooh. That must be a quote from the movie! Hehe. I didn't recognize it. Thanks for clearing that up =)

PhotosGuy

18th of November 2005 (Fri), 10:30

Oooh. That must be a quote from the movie! I think it was the opening line from her song. It's the only dialog I remembered, so I guess I thought everyone else would remember it too! ;)

Dante King

18th of November 2005 (Fri), 11:12

LOL Photos Guy. Look like the generation gap has even smashed this ole classic. I loved it and with your permission will use it every chance I get.

zacker

18th of November 2005 (Fri), 11:20

... photos guy..Ahhh just forget it. Some of us just arent as quick (or perverted, take your pick here)
lol.. i got it and it was funny.. the trick to reading online jokes?? read them out loud if you can... they'll cu,m to ya soon enough!
-zacker-

JohnnyG

18th of November 2005 (Fri), 12:08

I loved the one about the surrogate father! I laughed out loud!

Thanks,

John

PhotosGuy

18th of November 2005 (Fri), 18:38

LOL Photos Guy. Look like the generation gap has even smashed this ole classic. I loved it and with your permission will use it every chance I get. You don't need my permission. I ripped it from someone else! :D

robjim

30th of January 2006 (Mon), 18:39

The Photographer

The Heberts were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Hebert kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning madam. I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Hebert cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out!! "

Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for my husband and me."

Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...."

Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

Wife (muttering)- "Don't I know it."

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

Wife - "Oh my god!"

Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

Wife - "She was difficult?"

Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park; to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement).

Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your ....equipment?"

Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work"

Wife - "Tripod?"

Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.

Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!"

Scottes

30th of January 2006 (Mon), 18:42

I think this makes the 7th time this has been posted, I think? Still funny though.

SezzySue

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 16:20

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the
proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
"Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a
door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to
make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer.
"Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please come in and have a seat".

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where
do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in
the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out
there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it
didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good
one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot
from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be
disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a
bus," he said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at
her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four
and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes
wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling
- I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush
my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I
just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready,
I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest
my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted.

timbernet

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 16:44

Can't

Stop

Laughing!

Oh no.. boss is looking at me funny...

weka2000

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 16:54

Thats great

Radtech1

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 16:57

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=94201
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=90698
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=69149
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=64734
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=26235
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=24548

And today makes 7 (that we know of!)

timbernet

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 16:57

Big WIll

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 16:59

hehe very good

SezzySue

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 17:01

sblais

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 17:39

Sorry I saw it on another board and I am not on here all day to know this.

It's all good Sarah! I hadn't read it before either!

rammy

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 17:53

Sorry I saw it on another board and I am not on here all day to know this.

You must be married or with partner/social life then :-)

MagicallyDelicious

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 17:58

hilarious!

love it!

Stavhp

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 18:02

rofl ahahaha
thats a goddun

calicokat

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 18:05

I have never read it before, so I like version 7 best :)

CyberDyneSystems

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 18:12

I still laugh every time! :lol:

Poor Noink doesn't have a joke like this :)

thekid24

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 18:16

love that.:)):D

SezzySue

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 18:31

well i work full time (Air FOrce) go to school full time and am married, so I am busy

cfpackerfan

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 21:11

LOL. First time reading it for me. Thanks for posting Sarah. *still laughing*

gjl711

16th of April 2007 (Mon), 21:41

First time I have seen it. Got me laughing.. :):)

saravrose

17th of April 2007 (Tue), 01:25

well I saw it before but I'm still laughing..

tsw910

17th of April 2007 (Tue), 11:55

first time reading ... ROFLMAO .. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHHHA

ajbalazic

17th of April 2007 (Tue), 12:09

Nice one. Too funny.

milleker

17th of April 2007 (Tue), 19:30

Seen it before a long time ago, don't remember 'Canon' being in there! Thanks for bringing it back up for those like me (who forgot it) and those who haven't read it yet!

lensmen

17th of April 2007 (Tue), 19:42

hahaahah....

Boys and their Canon.....all the way :-)

posted this onto another forum, sure to get flamed by the picture-nosy Nikonians

sc_radar

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 06:59

I just thought this was funny and should post. Mods if this is in the wrong place please let me know and move it.

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat". After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted!!!!

fWord

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 07:02

Heheh...wrong forum alright, but it gave me a good laugh. I enjoyed the puns. Thanks for sharing. :D

samnz

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 07:16

ROTFLMAO!!! :)

lensmen

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 07:32

how could I add

i. RAW mode

ii.. 10 shots per second ?

==========================

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the
proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
"Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a
door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to
make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer.
"Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please come in and have a seat".

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where
do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in
the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out
there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it
didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good
one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot
from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be
disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a
bus," he said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at
her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four
and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes
wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling
- I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush
my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I
just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes. I usually does it RAW, with a brust of 11 per second.

Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod

and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest
my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted.

luckyart60

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 07:58

Made me smile

John_B

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 08:14

sc_radar,
:lol: quite a story :lol:
Did the photographer ever do the shoot? ??? :lol:

SuzyView

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 08:21

That's funny! LOL :)

I always wondered why we choose Canons :);)

samnz

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 08:36

Those big Canons are a worry! Especially the "push-pull" ones!!!

Hermeto

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 08:42

LOL! :D

bobinatcat

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 08:42

Now thats just downright silly ;)

Neo_gen3sis

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 08:49

lol. that sure made my morning worthwhile!

martook

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 08:57

I think I might have read that somewhere before...

Oh yeah, it was yesterday.
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=305682

and a few times before that as well.
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=133833
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=94201
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=90698
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=69149
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=64734
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=26235

This is starting to become another version of Pekkas mega-1D that gets posted a few times every year by someone that thinks they are the first to find it... :D

Oh well, apparently a lot of people hadn't read it before, but I must say I expected more from you Suzie! ;)

SuzyView

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 08:58

I never read stuff like this. I guess it was in the place where I picked it up. I'm home today. :)

Sinkrate

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 09:00

Oh, that made me laugh! Thanks for that!

Shutter22

18th of April 2007 (Wed), 11:46

Oh wow. How perfect.

SezzySue

23rd of April 2007 (Mon), 15:28

never claimed to be first to post just first time i have seen it.

CALM DOWN EVERYONE IT WILL BE OK!

lensmen

24th of April 2007 (Tue), 09:49

Especially the "push-pull" ones!!!

...and I owned 1 of them..... :-)

BillsBayou

27th of April 2007 (Fri), 15:14

[editted out. I didn't know it was already posted and I did do a search first] it's a great joke.

In2Photos

27th of April 2007 (Fri), 15:18

I love that joke. Seen it before but gets a laugh everytime.:)

queenbee288

28th of April 2007 (Sat), 09:12

Only the second time I have seen it. I laughed again. Thanks for sharing Suzie.

drifter106

29th of April 2007 (Sun), 03:18

Well its the first time that I came across it here and I got a good laugh out of it....thanks for posting!!

HighPlainsPhotographer

29th of April 2007 (Sun), 15:48

Funny:mrgreen:

ieatstars

29th of April 2007 (Sun), 15:53

Hysterical!!! You made my day :D

Citizensmith

29th of April 2007 (Sun), 15:59

OK its been posted 4 times in this thread, and 7 in the other Joke thread. Any previously undiscovered tribes of pygmies that haven't heard it yet? :) Here's a shorter version.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family so they went to a fertility clinic to arrange for IVF. Pity really as that means nobody was home when a quite talented photographer came by. The end (I hope :) )

Aaagogo

29th of April 2007 (Sun), 16:11

thinking that this will be a thread on photography jokes, i browsed thru 4 pages and got dissappointed

Citizensmith

29th of April 2007 (Sun), 16:25

thinking that this will be a thread on photography jokes, i browsed thru 4 pages and got dissappointed

The what you need is a healthy dose of http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=101187

or maybe some
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=197076

Reverend

1st of May 2007 (Tue), 14:14

there are no dirty words in this....enjoy

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now The
man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor
is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and
me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to
pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted

timbernet

1st of May 2007 (Tue), 14:17

Ok.... I am fine with this showing up every few months - but this is the third time in the past 30-days...

Citizensmith

1st of May 2007 (Tue), 17:37

Judging by the change of title post #49 was a new thread and one of the mods merged it in. At least that way we can keep all references to the joke in one place. :) Actually, we should maybe just refer to it as THE JOKE so everyone knows which one we are talking about.

Samgoit

1st of May 2007 (Tue), 17:50

Knock, knock.

Citizensmith

1st of May 2007 (Tue), 18:14

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Samgoit

1st of May 2007 (Tue), 22:38

Who's there?

aperture?

Citizensmith

1st of May 2007 (Tue), 23:21

aperture?

aperture who?

Samgoit

2nd of May 2007 (Wed), 02:10

aperture who?

Can I have aperture of your girlfriend?

Citizensmith

2nd of May 2007 (Wed), 11:15

Can I have aperture of your girlfriend?

:) Photography related knock knock jokes! :)

Monkeymicra

4th of May 2007 (Fri), 07:29

MAKING A BABY...

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now, The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good.
Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted

Franko515

4th of May 2007 (Fri), 07:31

:lol:
http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showpost.php?p=3076694&postcount=219

In2Photos

4th of May 2007 (Fri), 07:43

This is the fourth time this week.:rolleyes:

Monkeymicra

4th of May 2007 (Fri), 08:01

This is the fourth time this week.:rolleyes:

bugger

In2Photos

4th of May 2007 (Fri), 08:19

This is the fourth time this week.:rolleyes:

bugger
Sorry, my remark earlier may have sounded snide. I meant no ill will towards you.

Pete

4th of May 2007 (Fri), 08:24

Yes, you buggered this one up, Craig.

Must meet up again sometime...

G35Driver

8th of May 2007 (Tue), 18:38

I thought this was funny, hope its not a repost. read it at nother forum.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

Good morning, Ma'am," he said, "I've come to...'

Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in embarrassed,

"I've been expecting you."

Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.

Please come in and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed.

And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from Six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time.

I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on The top of a bus," he said.

Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

She was difficult?"asked Mrs. Smith.

Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. It took hours, too .

The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um, equipment?"

It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.

"Tripod?"

Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted.