Brain Teaser: Dr.Dementio's Birthday Present

[PetKal]

There is a well established tradition on POTN whereby many members get expensive photography gear items as presents and gifts from their mothers, inlaws, spouses and such. Come to think of it, that is a perfectly logical practice because many of said members are just plain too busy with their POTN employment (and occasional picture taking as well) which in turn severely restricts their ability to hold more gainful jobs.

According to the Farmers Almanac, Dr.Dementio aka MDJak is celebrating his 50th birthday on Jan.8, 07.
I am not quite sure what's there to celebrate though? An old boy has just got one year older.:rolleyes: Big flippin deal, so have several billion other people on the planet.

However, be that as it may, the man has a beautiful wife. Which brings us to the "teaser" part: does her generosity match her beauty ? Will his family finally regale Dr.Dementio with the Holy Grail of his L dreams ? The mother of all lenses ? The inimitable EF 300mm f/2.8L IS USM ? The lens which not only confers the status of an expertly photog to its owner but also reaffirms his manhood.

So the questions which we need to ponder on that occasion are:

(1) Will Dr. Dementio complete his passage to manhood by virtue of an EF 300 f/2.8?
(2) If so, then, as a minor trivia question, will he be using that lens towards photography ? If yes, what will his subjects be ?
(3) As an alternative gift, will he be getting a 16-35 f/2.8 ?
(4) Should none of the above materialize, what do you think his family will get for him ?

[condyk]

Excellent preamble that succeeds in focusing attention on this serious issue mated with and an outstanding series of questions (leaving aside spellin' and such!):

(1) Will Dr. Dementio complete his pasage to manhood by virtue of an EF 300 f/2.8?

On balance, yes! He wanted Dante's and while that could have just been man on man gear flirting I rather fancy his ardour is stired sufficient for his indulging spouse to look into his tear-filled eyes and condone the purchase.

(2) If so, then, as a minor trivia question, will he be using that lens towards photography ? If yes, what will his subjects be ?

Doubtful ... who pays that kinda silly money to takes pictures? If you can take pictures you don't need to spend silly money :-)

(3) As an alternative gift, will he be getting a 16-35 f/2.8 ?

No ... lacks sex appeal for the Lustful! More like a quickie in a dim alleyway for a man like the Dr. :confused:

(4) Should none of the above materialize, what do you think his family will get for him ?

A couple of tickets for Phantom of the Opera so the wife can remind him who's on top in that beauty and the beast relationship. :p

[PetKal]

(2) If so, then, as a minor trivia question, will he be using that lens towards photography ? If yes, what will his subjects be ?

Doubtful ... who pays that kinda silly money to takes pictures? If you can take pictures you don't need to spend silly money :-)



I must say, the logic of your answer above is iron-clad and immutable.;)

[T.D.]

T
So the questions which we need to ponder on that occasion are:

(1) Will Dr. Dementio complete his passage to manhood by virtue of an EF 300 f/2.8?
(2) If so, then, as a minor trivia question, will he be using that lens towards photography ? If yes, what will his subjects be ?
(3) As an alternative gift, will he be getting a 16-35 f/2.8 ?
(4) Should none of the above materialize, what do you think his family will get for him ?

First let me say that Connie has given an excellent response. I have a slightly different take on the situation, however.

1. Yes, but only after hours of whimpering in the fetal position (get that thumb out of your mouth, Doc! Are you a man or what?)

2. Doubtful, unless his wife directs him to such activity.

3. No, definitely not. When you need the kind of compensation the good doctor needs, a stubby 16-35 will just not do.

4. My hope is that his lovely wife will open her purse and let him borrow back his manhood for a few short hours.

[MDJAK]

Well, what can I say? I'm both humbled and flattered that Eddie Murphy (I've got to point to his avatar as we all know it changes like the wind and nobody will know what the heck I'm talking about in the next two minutes, adding to my impending dementia) and my buddy Pete would post birthday wishes to an elderly man as myself, one who is almost old as dirt.

I went to the zoo yesterday, in lieu of an African safari, and saw this:

http://www.pbase.com/mdjak/image/72735967.jpg

Did I care? Was I moved? Hell no.

It wasn't until I saw this that I was moved. Yeah, I was almost moved to mug him for it.

http://www.pbase.com/mdjak/image/72735969.jpg

[MDJAK]

Also just found out my wife is having a surprise party for me today. My daughter accidentally spilled the beans yesterday when she blurted out that one of my three older, much older, sisters won't be able to come.

I said, come where?

Oh, nowhere.

Express mail just arrived. My sister, who can't make it, sent me a shirt.

It depicts an aged tree shark in the woods propped up by a cane, not unlike that used by Petey, searching around, with the saying:

"I'm so old I can't find my nuts."

Ha Ha, very funny.
:)

[T.D.]

Also just found out my wife is having a surprise party for me today. My daughter accidentally spilled the beans yesterday when she blurted out that one of my three older, much older, sisters won't be able to come.

I said, come where?

Oh, nowhere.

Express mail just arrived. My sister, who can't make it, sent me a shirt.

It depicts an aged tree shark in the woods propped up by a cane, not unlike that used by Petey, searching around, with the saying:

"I'm so old I can't find my nuts."

Ha Ha, very funny.
:)

Tragic, but quite apropos.

As I mentioned above, check your wife's purse. They're in there!




;)

[condyk]

Good shots MD: the chimp riding on the Poodle (assume Poodle as can't see head!) and the chump hiding behind his camo lens coat in a white fleece jacket hoping not to scare the animals. Comedy shots par excellence! :-)

[PetKal]

Well, what can I say? I'm both humbled and flattered that Eddie Murphy (I've got to point to his avatar as we all know it changes like the wind and nobody will know what the heck I'm talking about in the next two minutes, adding to my impending dementia) and my buddy Pete would post birthday wishes to an elderly man as myself, one who is almost old as dirt.

I went to the zoo yesterday, in lieu of an African safari, and saw this:

http://www.pbase.com/mdjak/image/72735967.jpg

Did I care? Was I moved? Hell no.

It wasn't until I saw this that I was moved. Yeah, I was almost moved to mug him for it.

http://www.pbase.com/mdjak/image/72735969.jpg


Nice baby picture, very natural looking green image cast.
Also, I love to see lenses like 70-200 f/4 and 300's camo taped. Very cool. Especially in a zoo. I betcha a nickel to a dognut the lad is one of them POTN bird shooters.

[PetKal]

1. Yes, but only after hours of whimpering in the fetal position (get that thumb out of your mouth, Doc! Are you a man or what?)



Yes, I can visualise the situation Mark's family have on their hands now. I say shoot him with a tranquilizer gun.;)

[PetKal]

Express mail just arrived. My sister, who can't make it, sent me a shirt.


Ha Ha, very funny.
:)


Sorry, I do not find that funny. Send the flippin shirt back with a note :"You forgot ! I told you to send me a B&H gift certificate".

[TammieO]

I betcha a nickel to a dognut the lad is one of them POTN bird shooters.

Bad POTN bird shooter. :cry: He's missing his POTN neck strap!

[T.D.]

Bad POTN bird shooter. :cry: He's missing his POTN neck strap!


Hey, champ's in super-stealth mode. Can't you tell from the camo lens cover? He can't risk having something as outlandish as a POTN strap around his neck. Those caged animals might notice him!

Plus, it wouldn't go with the sheep-fleece jacket. ;)

[calicokat]

50th B-Day is supposed to be the 500 F/4L IS, the 300 is for the 30th

[PetKal]

Hey, champ's in super-stealth mode. Can't you tell from the camo lens cover? He can't risk having something as outlandish as a POTN strap around his neck. Those caged animals might notice him!

Plus, it woulnd't go with the sheep-fleece jacket. ;)

:lol: :lol:

[PetKal]

50th B-Day is supposed to be the 500 F/4L IS, the 300 is for the 30th

James, thank you for the reminder.

Hey, bruder Mark....if it's not to late.....exchange that 300 for the 500 please !:rolleyes:
The 300 would be too short for your voyeuristic needs anyway !:evil: ;)

[calicokat]

James, thank you for the reminder.

Hey, bruder Mark....if it's not to late.....exchange that 300 for the 500 please !:rolleyes:
The 300 would be too short for your voyeuristic needs anyway !:evil: ;)

The 500 is too much lens for you old guys, doed Gitzo or Manfrotto make a tri-pod that doubles as a walker :lol:

[MDJAK]

I'm glad you guys are having such a laugh at my expense.

I did get a few good shots of the gorillas, but not many. It was all behind glass and quie dark, with a bunch of rug rats running under my feet.

I finally turned off my flash when I saw the lousy reflections I was getting.

Nah, he wasn't a POTNer, but he is a bird shooter. He told me he had a 500 also. Lucky bastard.

As for me, I'm still waiting. I got a few more B&H gift cards today, so I've now got a total of $1250. Some dopey friend of mine gave me a Worst Buy card. Big dope.

Alas, tomorrow is the actual day, and my lovely wife never, ever gives out the actual gift until the annointed time. She keeps asking me what time I was born. I don't even know what time I last douched for goodness sake.

me

[PetKal]

I'm glad you guys are having such a laugh at my expense.

I did get a few good shots of the gorillas, but not many. It was all behind glass and quie dark, with a bunch of rug rats running under my feet.

I finally turned off my flash when I saw the lousy reflections I was getting.

Nah, he wasn't a POTNer, but he is a bird shooter. He told me he had a 500 also. Lucky bastard.

As for me, I'm still waiting. I got a few more B&H gift cards today, so I've now got a total of $1250. Some dopey friend of mine gave me a Worst Buy card. Big dope.

Alas, tomorrow is the actual day, and my lovely wife never, ever gives out the actual gift until the annointed time. She keeps asking me what time I was born. I don't even know what time I last douched for goodness sake.

me


Interesting !:rolleyes:
Well, bruder, I hope you get at least a 16-35 out of it. After all, that is probably the best WA lens Canon makes. Nothing to be sniffed at.:lol:

As far as that camo boy is concerned, yeah, they all say they've got a 500 or a 600 at home....I've heard it many times before.....insecure sociopaths and losers. You don't worry about them, bruder.

[PetKal]

The 500 is too much lens for you old guys, doed Gitzo or Manfrotto make a tri-pod that doubles as a walker :lol:

Thank you for placing me in Dr.Dementio's age bracket.
Today I may not be the man I was when of your age. However, ask yourself what man you might be when you get to be my age.:cool:

[calicokat]

Thank you for placing me in Dr.Dementio's age bracket.
Today I may not be the man I was when of your age. However, ask yourself what man you might be when you get to be my age.:cool:

Man, thats too far in the future to think about. What year will that be, 2060 :lol: and j/k of course ;)

[Lightstream]

50th B-Day is supposed to be the 500 F/4L IS, the 300 is for the 30th

What, speaking from personal experience? :p

I'll be lucky to even have someone to give me anything at 30.... and that sure ain't far off now....