ARGH!!!! (warning rant ahead)

[Claire]

Ok, I just bawled my eyes out in the office bathroom. Too much stress past months. Then today when we're to finish a big material order for the sales team, very important stuff which was prepared already before in time, then last minute changes and everyone scrambling to get it done on time etc etc, and bad timing and planning from management and mainly - mixed signals from every corner.

I was already stressed and been cranky as hell lately. I have done 10hrs overtime this week and still not finished with everything. In short, I'm already tired, edgy and stressed. Then I got more and more mad with the management and when I called the CEO and Sales Director I was very to the point in what I wanted answers for. I also told them a few things that we in prodution would appreciate if they kept in mind for the future.

And then I got really mad with the SD for saying "Sorry, sorry, but couldn't get this to you earlier. Don't be too harsch on the Marketing Director and CEO, they're very stressed right now."My reply was "Yeah, well, so are we in the production team".

The stuff that needed doing today wasn't all that you know terrible, just crap communication as usual from the management. The thing that got to me was the "Don't be too hard on the MD and CEO..." part and it just triggered all the pent up stress I've felt since earler in winter 2006. So I told my colleagues to go have lunch and I'll have it alone. Not feeling in the mood to be social. Then I went bawling in the bathroom.

I HATE WHEN I burst like that. I hate to have to go into the bathroom and bawl. I hate when it just happens and I hate it because to me it's a sign of not being able to keep my cool. Why am I bawling and nobody else? Am I softer? Or do I just keep it pent up in another way? Argh!!

Ok, need food. Not hungry, but should eat.

[tommykjensen]

I know it is easy for me to say but it sounds to me that you should be looking around for a new job. You will break down eventually if this keeps up so better to find a new job and start fresh.

And now go take a long lunch break.

[Woolburr]

Don't be hard on the CEO and MD? Isn't that what they get paid the big money for? Good grief...classic case of occupational gravity....and proof that s*** runs down hill. Nothing like working for people that don't give a damn about you or your efforts. Sorry about your crappy day...hope it gets better!

[JimAskew]

Claire,

It is a given that things will change in the most inopportune time, it is how we deal with the changes that makes the difference. When things seem out of hand I have found that putting all to be done in a list and then prioritizing them for action works well. I have also found that if I get my priorities wrong then management will tell me...put the challenge back on them...if they don't like your order of things then have them tell you how to rearrange them. This really works.

Also, if this is a systemic problem in your work environment then something is wrong with management...every task should not come down to the wire. If management will not address these issues then it might be time to look for work elsewhere.

As for stress, treat your self to a three day weekend. I try to do this at least once each month...nothing improves my morale then knowing my work week will end on a Thursday or start on a Tuesday!'

Goof luck & I hope things work out for you,

[Pete]

I find that chocolate helps a great deal, if that's any kind of help at all.

[Claire]

Three day weekend would be kinda nice actually. Maybe I should do that at some point. Remind me to also do what the owner's daughter did when she decided she wouldn't go to work last friday - had her dad tell the CEO she wasn't coming in because "she's really tired from working on her new flat until 1-2am".:rolleyes: I declared to the whole production team that's what I'll be doing next month when I get my flat. I'll call in to the CEO and go "sorry, not coming in. Too tired from moving all my stuff."
Or I'll go "Yeah, here are the things I've been working overtime for. Bye, I'm off to sleep".

Chocolate? Hm, not a bad idea...Mmmmmmm

[belmondo]

The real inequity in this sort of thing is that after you blow off a little steam, that's what they'll remember---not the circumstances that brought you to it---just you acting irrationally. This is not to say you should keep it all bottled up. Just stay in control and choose your words carefully.

[JAZZ D.P.G.]

Rant away, better to do it here than in the boardroom.

Go for a walk and let the excersize burn the adrenalin off, this is my favorite.

Letting people know where there failing the team is a good thing if done in the right way.

I don't want to belittle the issue today, but if you think your frustrated now wait until you have children:lol: Keep it in perspective.

Grab a dark chocolate bar, your favorite music and go for a walk.

Go easy!

[Claire]

I know it is easy for me to say but it sounds to me that you should be looking around for a new job. You will break down eventually if this keeps up so better to find a new job and start fresh.

And now go take a long lunch break.

Well, I am keeping my eyes out for possible jobs, but knowing how long it took to get me a job in the first place it'll probably take a while...

Don't be hard on the CEO and MD? Isn't that what they get paid the big money for? Good grief...classic case of occupational gravity....and proof that s*** runs down hill. Nothing like working for people that don't give a damn about you or your efforts. Sorry about your crappy day...hope it gets better!

Everyone's underpaid in our company, but we have issues here that the production team aren't all very happy about. Money going out in areas they shouldn't when they could spend it on giving us a raise.

Claire,
Also, if this is a systemic problem in your work environment then something is wrong with management...every task should not come down to the wire. If management will not address these issues then it might be time to look for work elsewhere.
QUOTE]

Management could be better...in certain areas.

[QUOTE=belmondo;2565542]The real inequity in this sort of thing is that after you blow off a little steam, that's what they'll remember---not the circumstances that brought you to it---just you acting irrationally. This is not to say you should keep it all bottled up. Just stay in control and choose your words carefully.

I know. That's why I don't want to show people if I get really upset. That's why I end up in the bathroom bawling. During my yearly review in Dec the CEO told me he never noticed me being stressed and thought I seemed to handle things like that well.
When I spoke to him today I was mainly very businesslike, very straight to the point with my questions and laying out the facts for him; "ok, if we do this it means time will go away from this, are you aware of this? Ok, and if this then this will be delayed, are you aware and fine with that. Ok, good. at least you know now."
With the MD it was very much "We in production would really appreciate advance warning of this and that - if possible. No, we understand if things can't be given with that long notice, but IF, then we'd appreciate it." Then I had to listen to him appologising and telling me the "don't be hard on the CEO and SD" part. That triggered all the pent up stress and I found myself going "Eh, and WE'RE not stressed and tired??" to which the MD continued to appologise and go "oh, I know everyone's having a really tough time right now and we really appreciate all the hard work you guys are doing..."

[Claire]

I don't want to belittle the issue today, but if you think your frustrated now wait until you have children:lol: Keep it in perspective.

I won't have a kid until god knows when! lol And knowing me, the damn kid will be equally stubborn as me, not to mention rebellic, private and all my other bad sides. :rolleyes: :lol:

[Mark_Cohran]

I feel for you, Claire. I'm a Program Manager with a well-known high tech company and it's amazing how, even in a very professional organization, poor planning and blame shifting is the norm. Better to have a bawl in the bathroom than a breakdown in the boardroom. Hope you get to relax and relieve some stress soon.

Mark

[Claire]

Mark, every time I see your avatar I think of my friend Mike! You look so much like him in that shot. :)

[20droger]

Ok, I just bawled my eyes out in the office bathroom. Too much stress past months. Then today when we're to finish a big material order for the sales team, very important stuff which was prepared already before in time, then last minute changes and everyone scrambling to get it done on time etc etc, and bad timing and planning from management and mainly - mixed signals from every corner.

I was already stressed and been cranky as hell lately. I have done 10hrs overtime this week and still not finished with everything. In short, I'm already tired, edgy and stressed. Then I got more and more mad with the management and when I called the CEO and Sales Director I was very to the point in what I wanted answers for. I also told them a few things that we in prodution would appreciate if they kept in mind for the future.

And then I got really mad with the SD for saying "Sorry, sorry, but couldn't get this to you earlier. Don't be too harsch on the Marketing Director and CEO, they're very stressed right now."My reply was "Yeah, well, so are we in the production team".

The stuff that needed doing today wasn't all that you know terrible, just crap communication as usual from the management. The thing that got to me was the "Don't be too hard on the MD and CEO..." part and it just triggered all the pent up stress I've felt since earler in winter 2006. So I told my colleagues to go have lunch and I'll have it alone. Not feeling in the mood to be social. Then I went bawling in the bathroom.

I HATE WHEN I burst like that. I hate to have to go into the bathroom and bawl. I hate when it just happens and I hate it because to me it's a sign of not being able to keep my cool. Why am I bawling and nobody else? Am I softer? Or do I just keep it pent up in another way? Argh!!

Ok, need food. Not hungry, but should eat.

Take two deep breaths, calm down, then update your resumé and send it everywhere. You work for idiots, and idiots are not wine: they do NOT improve with time.

Perhaps you should place a sign on your desk:
Your inability to plan ahead does not constitute an emergency on my part.

[Claire]

Heh, EVERYTHING in our office is "a priority".

[20droger]

As I said, update your resumé and send it everywhere. Do it twice. Where you are will not improve.

Of course, perhaps you like ulcers... Each to their own, but for me, life is just too short.

[Claire]

I actually updated my CV yesterday. Will start to send out and see if I'll get any responses at all. Probably will take time, but by that time I'm probably ready to leave.

I like my job and work mates, but it's very fast paced. Usually I like that, but fast should be for special reasons etc, not your average tempo. I'm liking the 3-4 day weekend thought a lot right now. Maybe I'll do that every 2nd month. Visit a friend and such. :)

[ajbalazic]

You've always got a shoulder to cry on at this end of the world. Take heart in knowing that your emotions only show that you are comitted to your work and take it very seriously which is more than I can say for many people I know.

You really made me laugh- my wife has similar tendencies to cry when work bothers her. I have yet to meet a man who expresses his work stresses in this way. I guess it's one of those things: women/men-- venus/mars. Makes me glad I'm a guy (j/k)

[arthurgoh]

Nothing wrong with bawling. What you need to do next is get online with B&H and do some serious retail therapy.... new lens maybe?

:D

[Claire]

Alan,
I am the type who bottles things in general and then at some point it'll burst. Either I get mad or end up crying. hehe And how do men express work stress then?

Oh, and I did think of retail therapy, but managed to stop myself. :) I'm off to IKEA tomorrow, that should get me some retail therapy.

[Skip Souza]

The floggings will continue until morale improves :rolleyes:





Yup, time for chocolate, strawberries, champagne and a hot bath :lol:

[-MasterChief-]

did you bring your camera in today? how bout a self portrait right about now? ;)

[Claire]

The floggings will continue until morale improves :rolleyes:





Yup, time for chocolate, strawberries, champagne and a hot bath :lol:

Choco, strawberries etc sound wonderful. I have a feeling I'll start taking baths when I get my flat. Never do usually, but the idea of scented candles, chocolate, music and bubbles on Fridays are starting to really appeal to me.

Now if I could just add a man and full body massage into that picture I'd have the perfect stress relief scenario...:lol:

[Claire]

did you bring your camera in today? how bout a self portrait right about now? ;)

No camera at work. In bed now & not taking a shot. :p

[saravrose]

I know it is easy for me to say but it sounds to me that you should be looking around for a new job. You will break down eventually if this keeps up so better to find a new job and start fresh.

And now go take a long lunch break.

agree. but don't listen to me. I'm like a cat trying to use up all my extra lives... maybe you need a vacation.. or, a really, really bad flu that will take you out of the office for a few days... ;) .. or a dead older relative (knock on wood).. who's funeral you have to attend.

sari

[saravrose]

Choco, strawberries etc sound wonderful. I have a feeling I'll start taking baths when I get my flat. Never do usually, but the idea of scented candles, chocolate, music and bubbles on Fridays are starting to really appeal to me.

Now if I could just add a man and full body massage into that picture I'd have the perfect stress relief scenario...:lol:

good for you claire! somehow I think the whole, bathtub, champagne man scenario will be easier accomplished without the parents underfoot.. When do you move?...

[ajbalazic]

... And how do men express work stress then?

First of all- real men never cry :rolleyes:

Seriously- although it can be very difficult, I seperate the stress (in this case: work/co-workers) from the other parts of my life. It takes a lot of effort sometimes, but if I focus on another aspect of my life outside of work, I can usually forget my troubles. In my case, my kids (4 years old and 21 months), my hobbies (photography) and watching my favorite sports team. I find this rejuvenates me and helps me face the battle next time!

Regarless of your faith, here's a prayer/meditation that if you think about it, makes a lot of sense...

...grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference

Cheers

[SuzyView]

My husband has been stressed at work lately, but you'd never know it except he comes home and puts together a puzzle or does a Suduko on the computer. He unwinds that way. He never takes his work home and his home to work. How he does that, I'll never know. Claire, you are suffering from thinking what others put on your shoulders shouldn't affect you. That's garbage. If someone puts more work on your desk, you should let them know exactly what the price is for you, mentally, physcically and emotionally. I mean, let them know they owe you big time! That doesn't mean in money, but just in being competent and long-suffering. It's not your job to make miracles happen, but since you do, they should see that. Cheers, my friend! Eat some very yummy chocolate, get a hot chocolate and bathrobe and fuzzy slippers and read a good photography book for about an hour. That should cheer you up. Or the B&H catalog. That always makes me feel better. :)

[Skip Souza]

I had a sign in my office, Pi$$ Poor planning on your part does NOT justify an emergency response on my part.

[Claire]

I had a sign in my office, Pi$$ Poor planning on your part does NOT justify an emergency response on my part.

That should be the company motto...he he

Suzy, thanks. I usually will get a bit edgy at work when stressed and I get too focused (i.e very "Not leaving my desk until my pile of work has gone down by 50%"). My work mates literally drag me away from the comp. We in production have a pact to look after each other & be both as emotionally & practically as supportive as we can within the team. The Art Director stopped me in the hallway after I came out of the bathroom. Told me I didn't need to pretend I was fine & dandy in front of him & the other two. Somehow that made my eyes water again so he gave me a big hug, & A gave me a supportive pat on the back. Later the Project/Key Account Mngr had a chat with me.

I think usually I let off steam by drawing, photography, reading, watching a movie etc. Every now & then if something gets to me extra I'll have a cry for a bit & get it out of my system. Then back on the horse.:)

Sari, the champagne & strawberries might be overdoing it, but the rest would be nice. :) Flat's available 28th, I'm planning to move 3 Feb. Gotta start to pack this weekend. I ordered my phone line yesterday. Crappy thing is I can't order broadband until 2 weeks after I get the line & then it takes 4-6 weeks. Bah! So I'll be on a modem until end of March.

Ooh & my first flat guests will be a wedding photographers' get together around the 19 Feb! Cyberpet (Petra) & a few others are meeting up. Unfortunately David Jay won't join...lol

[Glenn NK]

I was in a situation like that almost four years ago; mismanagement was rampant. But because I'm an ornery sob, I tend to push back a bit (;) , and before they knew it, they had to let me go.:lol:

Seriously that happened - then I became self-employed, work about 1/3 the time, don't have to put up with incompetents (noun), and do much better financially. The company I left? Still foundering around with yet another manager.:lol:

[zacker]

my boss is talking about getting me into anger management classes soon...lol
When I get frustrated at work i tend to loose my mind for like 2 seconds and something usually gets broken. Once i thought it was my right hand because i punched my Stainless Steel work bench. My wife yells at me for "Scareing" her when I lose it, she says I sound like a lunatic. I need help!! My Boss runs out and starts trying to make me laugh..which he does rather easily.. but its always too late, either a hammer has beat a few dents into a bench or a valve hits a wall or a door is almost ripped off its hinges. Man, I got some problems I guess, but other than that I am a really happy and upbeat person, I just get frustrated at times...esp. with stupidity so, I feel for ya claire.. Maybe I should cry instead, you might be onto something there..lol
Hang in there...

[SuzyView]

There's nothing more weird than seeing a grown man cry over stress, unfortunately. But that's how it is. We have a new House Speaker, a woman, and boy, have things changed here in the US. :)

[zacker]

There's nothing more weird than seeing a grown man cry over stress, unfortunately. But that's how it is. We have a new House Speaker, a woman, and boy, have things changed here in the US. :)


and possibly a woman prez.... Oh Boy!!!

[saravrose]

I will admit to being a bit of a cryer.. I tend to cry when I'm angry or tired or sick... Or just emotional in general.. ofcourse that's few and far between and I don't do the whole 'girl crying' number.. but, every great once in awhile I like to cry.. cleans ya out and makes things seem more manageable somehow... I have absolutely cried in the bathroom's like Claire did. In fact, just a couple of weeks ago I had an icky conversation with my boss that left me crying... He asked if I wanted to take the night off I said 'nope i'm just about done but I need to go fix my mascara.'

sari

[tommykjensen]

First of all- real men never cry :rolleyes:


I think you got that backwards. Real men don't do backups but they cry alot :lol:

[Claire]

Real men cry & depending on circumstances us women fall for it. :p

The funny thing is that emotionally I'm the one at work who gets the least affected by bad atmosphere. The AD is a very sensitive & emotional guy and he reacts very much if he feels the atmosphere in a room isn't tip top. He doesn't feel happy & comfortable. The PM/KM doesn't feel good when any of us in production are under visible stress & yesterday she said she felt crappy as the whole office wasn't feeling good.
Heck, I'm usually the one who isn't all that emotional.

[hard12find]

Claire,
Sorry for your bad day...I took on a job a couple years ago, and it was messed up bad, always under the gun, performing miracles every day, stress was eating me up....
What I learned was I was taking every thing too personal. Once I removed my personal from my job, now its like water off a ducks back....sometimes you can only do so much.
BTW I love your avatar..you are very exotic and pretty...would like to get you in front of my camera any time...
Jim

[ajbalazic]

I think you got that backwards. Real men don't do backups but they cry alot :lol:

That's for sure- losing data will bring anyone to their knees.

[Claire]

That's for sure- losing data will bring anyone to their knees.

Yes, but crying over lost data won't get women swooning over you. :p

[Mike R]

Grab your camera and go for a long walk in the woods. Many people feel like shooting something when stressed, at least with photography, shooting will not land you in jail.
"Photography-The new comfort food"

[belmondo]

Yes, but crying over lost data won't get women swooning over you. :pI didn't cry, but I got a big lump in my throat during the final scene of Dream Girls.:o:o Does that count?

[Claire]

I didn't cry, but I got a big lump in my throat during the final scene of Dream Girls.:o:o Does that count?

Haven't seen it, but I'm sure it counts. :)

[20droger]

Hang in there, Claire. Keep your eyes open for other opportunities.

And you're company needs to remember the "Six P" Rule...

Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance!

:D
Old axiom--

A poorly planned project takes three times as long as anticipated and costs three times as much.

A properly planned project only takes twice as long and only costs twice as much.

[saravrose]

I didn't cry, but I got a big lump in my throat during the final scene of Dream Girls.:o:o Does that count?

please.... dream girls was nothing compared to Freedom Writers.. now, that one had me sobbing..

[Claire]

Eh, does getting a lump during "Oh Captain, my Captain" in Dead Poet's Society count?

[saravrose]

Eh, does getting a lump during "Oh Captain, my Captain" in Dead Poet's Society count?

hehe.. I memorized that poem in the fourth grade... brings back memories.. I was such a dork.. :o

[Claire]

I memorized Robert Frost's "Nothing gold can stay" after reading The Outsiders.

[LBaldwin]

Claire,

Sorry you are going through the sh*t storm. But crying and letting it out is a good thing. Heartattacks are a real bummer, so go ahead and pitch a bitch, it is actually good for you. Not to mention you higherups may learn to fear your wrath <vbg>

good thought and prayers towards ya,

Les

[JAZZ D.P.G.]

I didn't cry, but I got a big lump in my throat during the final scene of Dream Girls.:o:o Does that count?

:lol: Thats what happens when you put too much caramel on the popcorn :lol:

[Claire]

Thanks Les. I try avoiding crying in front of the SD. He's the type who'll go "Geesh, little girl can't handle a bit of stress. Pfft!" He won't say it, but I know that's what he'll think.

On a good note one guy from the translation company we use accidentally sent the AD an email where he called us idiots to his colleauge, cos he didn't like the AD's layout. The AD had a big laugh at the email & had to calm the guy down when he rang to apologise. We're their biggest customer.hehe

[belmondo]

:lol: Thats what happens when you put too much caramel on the popcorn :lol:Come to think of it, I got a lump in my throad while watching Dumb and Dumber. You might've just hit on something.;)

[20droger]

Maybe you just have a lumpy throat.

[saravrose]

I memorized Robert Frost's "Nothing gold can stay" after reading The Outsiders.

that was a good one. I cried reading the Outsiders... good book though.

[Mark_Cohran]

that was a good one. I cried reading the Outsiders... good book though.

Excellent book - good movie too. Though it pre-dated your time by a significant amount of time. :)

Mark

[Claire]

Excellent book - good movie too. Though it pre-dated your time by a significant amount of time. :)

Mark

LOVE the book. I remember seeing it in the store & felt it calling out to me. Bought it & it's still one of my favourite books. The movie wasn't that good imo, but I loved the TV show! (Hotter actors as well...Had a major crush on Ponyboy as a character).

[johnnybfan]

Claire, I used to have one of those high stress jobs. I loved it but it turns out that my body didn't. I developed some major chronic pain problems and now am unable to work at almost anything - nothing involved with any lifting, bending, and definitely nothing with stress involved. Really sicks! :( Take some time out and try to get rid of as much stress as possible. You owe it to yourself. Hope everything turns out well.

[Claire]

It actually looks like things will be calming down now in February. The CEO has paused production, so I won't have to deal with a bunch of new productions, maps and translations. I'm hoping I can finally concentrate on catching up on things that have been lagging.

[ajbalazic]

I cried at the end of "Rudy"- that surely makes me... something?

[theflyingkiwi]

Claire, I feel sorry for ya. I feel the pain. this time last year I had a friend that got really depressed working for the company that I am now leaving.

It does get better, if that means getting a new job then that's what it means.

When I started back at work this year, the first thing I did was hand in my resignation.

I don't like my boss, my bosses boss and I don't like the company. And more importantly I wasn't happy working here. So I am, leaving a job and company I hate to the bone with no job going.

[Claire]

Mark,
You finally did it? Good for you. I heard IT jobs are on the up again, so hope you find something soon.