The Photographers Dictionary

[garethhhhh]

Photochemistry - The relationship between a photographer and client.
Photocopy - One photographer copies another photographer's work.
Photoelectric - When the safelight falls into the fixer. A shocking development.
Photocell - Where a photographer is put when he is guilty of bad lighting, poor focus and sick jokes.
PhotoJournalist - A photographer who buys Playboy and never reads the articles.
Photo Sensitive - Photographers who can't take criticism.
Polaroids - Type of haemorrhoids common only to photographers.
Positive - The photographer's attitude when the client has cash up front.
Negative -The photographer's attitude when the client demands "Any and all rights".
Stock Photo -A photo of a cow.
Processing - Up all night thinking about the next day's assignment.
Viewfinder - Photographer's car windows, while looking for that perfect location.
Development - A photographer's formative years.
Camera Stand - A road-side enterprise that sells fresh fruit, vegetables & camera equipment.
Natural Light - Type of beer preferred by all photographers.
Primary Colours - Khaki and Denim. The only colours in a photographers wardrobe.
Exposure - What a photographer hopes he will get after spending £25,000 for a 4-page Black Book ad.
Lens Hood - Robin Hood's cousin who took photos of the rich and sold them to the Hello Magazine.
Auto-Exposure - Cheating. But nice to have.
Auto-Focus - Really cheating. But very nice to have.
Bellows -How a photographer calls his assistant after realising that the assistant forgot to pack the film.
Bellows Extension - The same photographer in the above example but using a bull horn to get his assistant's attention.
Blur - What a photographer sees when the client says, "Lets try ONE MORE from over here".
Boom Stand - Specialised equipment designed to be at exactly the correct height so the models and clients will hit their head.
Fixer -The photographers assistant.. hopefully!
Flare - Refers to a photographer's own personal sense of artistic style.
Freelancer - Photographer without health insurance and retirement plans.
Grain - A food that photographers eat daily to decrease reciprocity failure.
Zone System - Zen meditation photography.
Photo Finish - The end of a long shoot day

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please feel free to add others :mrgreen:

[stopbath]

Panoramic: A wide photograph, usually a landscape scene. The name originates from photos of the Panoramic Canal which were characteristically very wide. Special Panoramic cameras were developed just to record the construction of the canal.

Stereoscopic: Photographs taken with the stereo playing. Often a studio shot where the music is played to relax the models.