The Man on Rise

[vafa]

Here are two shots titled “the Man on Rise”
How do you rate them? Any idea to improve?
Your comments and ideas are highly appreciated.

You want to visit the gallery please click at:
http://www.bytephoto.com/photopost/showgallery.php?ppuser=2108

vafa


http://www.bytephoto.com/photopost/data/500/2108Picture_218-2-med.jpg?262


http://www.bytephoto.com/photopost/data/500/2108Picture_217-1-med.jpg?3204

[SWPhotoImaging]

doesn't do anything for me

[ijohnson]

The first one is definitely better because you can't see the guy in the front right and the sun doesn't blow your highlights as bad. I still think it is a tad blown where the people are.

What is that on the top left? Is that vignetting?

[Rendezvous]

The photo looks a little empty. I do like the colours in the sky though. Maybe a more closeup shot of the people with the sun behind them would work? You can still keep the pillars in the side of the photo for a bit more interest.

[MattSEG]

looks like stock photography.
not artistic so much, not much perceived meaning, but aesthetically good.

if you were going for stock photography look it was a home run.

[rick barclay]

You need someone to help you name your pictures, Vafa, because the
titles you give them make little or no sense. Perhaps you have a friend
you could say to, "Look, I named this 'The Man on Rise.'" "What do you think?"
Limited English skills will get you little or no sympathy here. When in Rome,
you have to talk like the Romans talk. Same here.

[vafa]

You need someone to help you name your pictures, Vafa, because the
titles you give them make little or no sense.


I agree you about a poor titling in my works. It comes out of my feeling about the pictures. I wonder to convey this feeling to others (by sure limited english literature is a certain shortage too).
Now you name it, as a help. What's your first impression when you look at this shot?
vafa

[rick barclay]

I had a feeling you might ask that. :)

Just for fun, I'll call it Sunlight and Silhouettes.

Now, your job is to translate "sunlight" and "silhoutettes" to your native
language and apply them to the photo. Those two words should be easy
to translate. The problems for people like you who speak in a second
language is interpreting words or phrases that don't translate well to your
native tongue. And most people will tell you, one key to giving
anything a catchy title is the abilty to assign double or triple meanings to
key words within the title. I can tell that you recognize this fact because
of the fact that your titles make no sense, but you're trying to give your
viewers a hint as to the intended meaning of your picture. And the first
thing you need to do to master your titles is to master the language in
which you write them.

[vafa]

I'll call it Sunlight and Silhouettes.


Though Sunlight and Silhouettes may seem proper titles, they do not reflect my feeling on the shot.
Let's back on "man on the rise"as the title. My first impression about the photo is the human is making huge things (symbols in right side of picture), though he/she's small in size (symbols in left side of picture). Wholistically the picture is to express man governing his environment.
How do you think now? Is it just the language confusion or deeper in conceptual difference.
vafa

[rick barclay]

Ah, I see. The problem here then that you have no construction workers
wearing helmets present in the picture. That would have helped. You see,
the people in the picture apear in no way to be connected with construction--
only the bulldozer, and that is obscure. The picture does not look like a construction site, and even with the bulldozer working (is it?), there is no indication anywhere from that picture in my mind's eye that anything is risong, not even dust. The middle silhouette appears to be a woman,
something I don't associate with construction or Man's struggle to build
huge projects. So, I think your concept here is flawed. Had it been an
image of a large construction project, then "Man on the Rise" would have been an acceptable title.

[vafa]

Hey rick, There is no bulldozer, there's nothing under construction in the picture!
Release your mind of hardware, so where's the imagination?
I pointed to minds and mental powers of human, how to say, it's something symbolic. Do not look for direct message in this work, let your conceptual power works for you.
Are we in the same paradigm?
vafa

[rick barclay]

It doesn't work for me, Vafa. It's way too abstract for me to associate the
beings in that picture with the rising columns on the right. The symbols are
there; I grant you that. But I fail to see any human dominance over huge
things in that image; quite the opposite, in fact, because it is the columns
that are towering somewhat threateningly over the tiny, unassuming humans in the picture.

And if that's not a bulldozer on the left, there, then why is it in the picture?

[Penguin_101_1]

doesn't do anything for me
Same here

:? Sorry

[PhotosGuy]

1/ I prefer #1 'cause the woman is interacting & I wonder what she's saying, so I'm involved in the pic. She just stands there in #2.- nothing happening.

2/ I HATE putting names to pics!

3/ Hey Penguin! I still have a few sheets of your avatar!

[Penguin_101_1]

1/ I prefer #1 'cause the woman is interacting & I wonder what she's saying, so I'm involved in the pic. She just stands there in #2.- nothing happening.

2/ I HATE putting names to pics!

3/ Hey Penguin! I still have a few sheets of your avatar!

It is one of the better stamps that they made IMO. :)

[Leighow]

You are getting good advice here.

My reations:

1: I liked the light (although overexposed a tad)
2: I assumed that it was a rock group on stage that I knew nothing about.
3: The dark curvature at the top was confusing
4: I liked the juxtaposition of the people (small) vs dark towers (large)

But I could see no more. No more mood. No more movement. No more story.

PS: Twenty odd years ago Jacob Bronowski wrote a work entitled "The Ascent of Man". To carry that theme wold require (IMHO) ray of light coming down onto the scene in a far more dramatic way.