Wedding Etiquette - "That one guest with the camera"

[koalawalla]

Im curious... How offensive to another photographer would it be for a wedding guest to take pictures?

I'll be going to my cousins wedding sometime early next year, and I would really love to take pictures of my own. I'm still learning photography and it just dawned on me that I think it would be a pretty a-hole move on my part if I took a shot that should have been one of theirs. On the other hand, I would also like to take pictures of my own for my personal collection and add to my experience. I still have alot to learn about composition and my equipment. Perhaps I should just take my shots before and after the church and just leave my gear behind for the main events?

What are your guy's thoughts on this?

[cdifoto]

1. Taking pictures = no big deal.
2. Getting in the way and/or being a distraction and/or trying to be a big bad sideline professional = big deal.

I have a clause in my contract that allows me to leave if you're #2 to the extent that I cannot do my job because of you.

[SoaringUSAEagle]

I think it depends on the official photographer. If its not too time consuming or distracting, go for it. I am the kind that is the, 1 for you, 1 for me type of guy. I have let others take photos of the formals, but I just dont let it get out of hand and let them run the show.

I dont like the attitude of, "I am the official photographer, let me take all the photos and have the bride and groom get them to you." I say if there is time and whatnot, why not let others have a chance to get photos too.

This makes you look friendly and hireable (yep, made that one up) by others possibly. And here's my final thought... typically if someone is wanting too many photos, the bride or groom will tell them not to take any photos themselves and just let the official photographer do their job. I've seen that happen as well.

Okay, here's more from me. I am just too full of opinions tonight. I know you arent the average person, and you have a more professional setup. I still wouldnt feel offended by that as long as the person wanting a few photos was not rude or pushy. Just talk to the photographer and see what they have to say. :)

[koalawalla]

I certainly wouldn't want to be in their way. Prefferably, i'd like to be wherever they're not.

[SoaringUSAEagle]

I have a clause in my contract that allows me to leave if you're #2 to the extent that I cannot do my job because of you.

I also have that, but would only do that if the situation got way out of hand. It is just there in case I absolutely need it. Like I said above, typically the bride and groom have more of a leg to stand on if someone is getting out of hand and will put that person in their place and let the photographer continue on with business.

[LBaldwin]

Try and ask in advance, make contact with the photog prior to the wedding, and see what they say!! Who knows you may get an assignment as an assistant or a 2nd shooter. Silly stuff does happen.

Most photographers love to talk about gear, their work etc. Just keep in mind what CDI said and all should be cool. BUT if they say no, please honor it.

Les

[FlyingPhotog]

There was a thread regarding this about a month ago or so and the consensus seemed to be: Unless you've specifically been asked to shoot anything by the Bride and/or Groom, leave your gear at home and just go be a wedding guest.

[SoaringUSAEagle]

I certainly wouldn't want to be in their way. Prefferably, i'd like to be wherever they're not.

This is also quite difficult because the photographer should be in eyesight of the bride and groom 99.9% of the time during a wedding, after all, it is their big day.

Who knows, maybe you would be able to capture the bride and groom alone for a few quick minutes to give your skills a go.

[cdifoto]

There was a thread regarding this about a month ago or so and the consensus seemed to be: Unless you've specifically been asked to shoot anything by the Bride and/or Groom, leave your gear at home and just go be a wedding guest.

The theme of that thread was enjoy the free alcohol and get as walloped as you can. :cool: :) :lol:

[SoaringUSAEagle]

The theme of that thread was enjoy the free alcohol and get as walloped as you can. :cool: :) :lol:

Only after the important photos have been taken :)

[cdifoto]

This is also quite difficult because the photographer should be in eyesight of the bride and groom 99.9% of the time during a wedding, after all, it is their big day.

Yes it is. I was actually 2nding with Jamie Wexler and accidentally got in his way a few times. Not a major deal because he could yell "hey dip****!" and I'd move, but even if you're trying to stay out of the way but get alternate shots it can still happen. We actually worked pretty well together. It'd be even more difficult for 2 people who aren't working in tandem.

[cdifoto]

Only after the important photos have been taken :)

Actually. The alcohol is what makes the important photos important. :cool:

[koalawalla]

Lol. I think i'll just take a few shots of my cousin and her fiancee as well as the reception area an hour or two before the wedding when everythings all set and ready to go. I'll definately want to have a chat with the photographer reguardless. :) I'm sure we'll have alot to talk about.

[amironsi]

ask permission
and never ever get in the way... listen to his instruction.. and it might be useful to you to look at what he is doign if you are still learning...

[momentz]

I disagree with some of what has been said above. These days everyone at a wedding has a camera, and many of them are slrs.

Feel free to take photos, but do not get in the way, especially with bridal party shots - do not ask the subjects to look your way, you must let the main photog do their job and pose the party as they see fit.

You will get some great shots just hovering and taking unexpected photos - they do not have to be looking your way for the photos to be ace.

[Nzshrimper]

to add to momentz comments - some of the candid shots are much better than the formally posed stuff anyway.

So go and enjoy the day try to capture some of the guests enjoying the day too. they often get overlooked, but by all means watch the pro see what he / she does everything you see will help you develop.

relaxed and having fun often leads to great shots.

[chris250]

i'd have to agree with momentz, i was at a christianing not so long ago as i was asked to do the photo's untill the mother of one of the parents hired in a pro, after the actual ceremony he actually broke the ice as he was also a canon user. he'd set up a studio lighting rig at the meal for formal photo's and was even nice enough to offer me the use of it which i unfortunately had to decline as i only have a 400D which has no PC out :(

what he said the main thing was that he was allowed to do his job, he actively encourages people to take pictures as he can't have a lens ready in every direction.

in the end results from the christianing my friends took a mixture of both of our photo's however the mother who hired the pro just took the tog's pic's lol

[picturecrazy]

Use common sense. It's that simple. Don't get in his/her way.

If you weren't born or taught common sense... well... I pity you, and the poor pro photographer who'll want to beat you up for having no common sense.

Of course, some pro photographers don't have common sense either and can blow up at the sight of another dslr in the same room and whine like a baby.

That being said, you really never know what's going to happen. If you really want to take pictures, then bring your cam and stay out of the way. And even still, if the pro whines about you then just put it away, because if you don't, the only people who really lose out are the bride and groom.

[cdifoto]

Use common sense. It's that simple. Don't get in his/her way.

If you weren't born or taught common sense... well... I pity you, and the poor pro photographer who'll want to beat you up for having no common sense.

Of course, some pro photographers don't have common sense either and can blow up at the sight of another dslr in the same room and whine like a baby.

That being said, you really never know what's going to happen. If you really want to take pictures, then bring your cam and stay out of the way. And even still, if the pro whines about you then just put it away, because if you don't, the only people who really lose out are the bride and groom.

A man after my own heart...:-D

[Alexajlex]

There is a photog in my area that has a $150 fee if he gets some "interference" .
My take on this is in my book he is not a Pro if he can't deal with some situations that will eventually come up at a wedding.

In this day and age every on has a PS camera so the Pro would have to deal with a heck of a lot of guests and tell them all not to take pictures.

I'd say that if the pro "whines" about it and asks to put your camera away (unless you are really being very disruptive) it will only look bad on him.

Here is what I learned when it comes to weddings. The guy I mentioned above with the $150 extra fee has a big ego. I've met him once (husband and wife team) and he is very hard to get along with. He is not realizing that he is hurting himself a lot since all the videogs & DJs that know him refuse to recommended him so he is loosing quite a few referrals.
He once told a videog that he cannot film the photo session for the formals (even though the videog was far away, zooming into the action, not using a light and shooting from the opposite angle).

The videog complied since he did not want to ruin the wedding for the BG.
Later on the word spread from this one videog to all the other videogs in the area and DJs.
Now the videogs ask who is the photog and if they hear his name they politely decline to work with him.

[Vincent Vega]

I went to a wedding a couple of years back and everyone was taking pictures. Lots and lots of people holding their P&Ss in front of themselves, trying to frame their shots properly. I was struck by just how many people had jumped aboard the digital camera bandwagon. Neither the bridge and groom nor the photographer complained about anyone getting in the way. Most of my shots were random candid and unposed, far more interesting (IMHO) than the normal stuff.

I am off to another wedding in early January and will be taking my 30D and all my lenses. The couple know I've got a "proper" camera and they haven't said anything about not taking photos. I will be trying out my new 70-200 2.8 IS and be hanging around the sidelines, trying not to get in the way.

I would be truly surprised to be invited to a wedding and to be told not to bring my camera.

[blueM]

I take my gear, but I steer clear of the formal shots or anything the hired photographer is doing at the reception. I amuse myself taking candids of the guests. I see myself as the replacement for the disposable cameras that are left on the tables for the guests to use.
I never get in the way of the pros. Besides, I need the practice

[LeesaB]

I just did a wedding where the grooms mother asked a man to photograph the wedding for her with his p&s camera...he got up on stage, with his little camera, stepped behind the preacher and snapped away.

I was in the back of the church motioning to my partner to get him off of there..finally he looked up and saw me motioning for him to knock it off, and moved to the side.

Later he moved to the outer court area and stood on stairs and took EVERY picture of EVERY guest hugging the bride and groom,

I walked over to him..grabbed his arm, pulled him aside and told him, " I don't know how to say this nicely, but, I've been paid to do a job, and you are hindering me from doing my best, You are in almost every shot of the bride and groom at the alter, I'm going to have to ask you to stop". He walked away, backed off a bit.

Later at the reception, we made nice and became friends, exchanged numbers.

So, I say, take your camera, take some pics..respect the person there who is paid to do his job and enjoy yourself..

OOO and here is a picture of my friend..

[koalawalla]

Lol! That picture is 100% explanitory of the guy that I DON'T want to be. For the big stuff like that, I'll have more fun watching the photog an his/her crew and see how they're moving about and what angles they're shooting... while drinking the free beer. :)

I think I'll definately be having a conversation with them and see what they're looking for and how they're gonna try to accomplish it. Im a pretty sociable person and unless they're a stick in the mud, we should have a fine chat. I guess the shots i want to learn for now are the artistic ones like a sepia or selective color of the bride while she's putting on makeup.

One thing tho... if they shoot Nikon, its a free for all right? :D

[Maureen Souza]

I haven't been to a wedding where everyone isn't shooting a P&S as well as a few DSLR's. Even when I, as the photographer, am obeying the "No Flash" rules, everyone is flashing away. SO asking others not to shoot at weddings is darn near impossible. I haven't ever had anyone intrude into my space but one wedding I shot....the sister of the groom had her kids playing at the foot of the B&G during the final moments of the ceremony and during The Kiss. Grrrrr.

[MDJAK]

Good for you, Lisa. You were certainly firm with him.

The last wedding I did, I was lucky in that there was very little of that, but I did get the videographer in a few and my assistant also in some. Not too many though.
me1

[LeesaB]

Lol! That picture is 100% explanitory of the guy that I DON'T want to be. For the big stuff like that, I'll have more fun watching the photog an his/her crew and see how they're moving about and what angles they're shooting... while drinking the free beer. :)

I think I'll definately be having a conversation with them and see what they're looking for and how they're gonna try to accomplish it. Im a pretty sociable person and unless they're a stick in the mud, we should have a fine chat. I guess the shots i want to learn for now are the artistic ones like a sepia or selective color of the bride while she's putting on makeup.

One thing tho... if they shoot Nikon, its a free for all right? :D

Yep, you can even run up to him and bowl him over, LOL...

I haven't been to a wedding where everyone isn't shooting a P&S as well as a few DSLR's. Even when I, as the photographer, am obeying the "No Flash" rules, everyone is flashing away. SO asking others not to shoot at weddings is darn near impossible. I haven't ever had anyone intrude into my space but one wedding I shot....the sister of the groom had her kids playing at the foot of the B&G during the final moments of the ceremony and during The Kiss. Grrrrr.
Maureen that happened to us also...I now ask the pastor if he is going to state that to the entire crowd, then just us. Generally he does, most listen, some do not.

Good for you, Lisa. You were certainly firm with him.

The last wedding I did, I was lucky in that there was very little of that, but I did get the videographer in a few and my assistant also in some. Not too many though.
me1

You need to do more weddings Mark, esp with your new gear, I'd like to see that camera work a wedding and reception.

I don't always have alot of tact. So I choose my words, when I speak to people if not, half the world would be offended by me, LOL

[LeesaB]

Hey Mark,

New title eh? What's it mean? LOL

[BillsBayou]

I'm still debating on whether or not to bring my 5D, Stroboframe flash bracket, and Lumiquest Promax to my cousin's wedding this Saturday. For us, a family wedding is a family reunion. There are shots that do not appear on the pro's laundry list. Therefore, rare shots of distant relatives will not appear in the bride's proof book.

Here's something that I haven't seen yet in this thread: Turn off the "MASTER" setting on your Canon flashes. If the pro is using Canon slaves, you may end up firing his strobes with yours. And if you're a guest using a Pocket Wizard, you should be slapped ;)

If the pro is using stand-mounted flashes for the staged shots, check to see if they are optical firing slaves. Nothing makes a pro madder than guests firing the umbrellas.

I like to wait until the staged shots are taken by the pro before I take my shots. I almost never call out to the staged shot participants to "Look here!"

Sadly, I eat the photographer's lunch by posting my shots on Smugmug and giving my cousins a CD of my shoot. My captures of the staged shots will never compare to the ones taken by the pro, but I do like the candids I take.

[koalawalla]

Might want to consider using faster glass instead of flash? Food for thought. :)

[SuzyView]

I am one that takes my camera everywhere, but if a pro is hired, I don't interfere. If the B&G ask me to shoot a few, I have to get permission from the pro. It's only appropriate to ask. For when I am the pro, I let guests take pictures. I just tell everyone in advance to get out of my way when I am shooting. I allow people to enjoy the party as well.

[KirkHMB]

I take my gear, but I steer clear of the formal shots or anything the hired photographer is doing at the reception. I amuse myself taking candids of the guests.

For us, a family wedding is a family reunion. There are shots that do not appear on the pro's laundry list. Therefore, rare shots of distant relatives will not appear in the bride's proof book.

My captures of the staged shots will never compare to the ones taken by the pro, but I do like the candids I take.

Go wild with this stuff. Our wedding collection was 50% pro shots, 50% candids shot by two friends with SLRs. One book for the formals, one book full of candids. Couple of people I never even saw at the wedding showed up in the candids, was really nice to have those.

[BillsBayou]

Oh, I'm savvy enough to recognize when the pro is setting up and shooting. I'm not the guy screwing up the shots. I always ask how the slaves are configured before shooting anything in front of the umbrellas.

I only bring my rig to family weddings, so it's understood that I'm shooting to my hearts content. At other weddings, I'm just there to wish the B&G all the best and celebrate their union (drink the booze).

[BillsBayou]

...Couple of people I never even saw at the wedding showed up in the candids...

Were they invited? It might have been me and the wife. :D

[Balliolman]

If you're there as a guest then the happy couple want your company first and photos are a bonus so enjoy their day to make their day. Having said that with your camera you have the freedom to take shots of details and moments the hired glass wont have opportunity to snap. I have taken lots of detail shots such as friends meeting or eyecatching hats - whatever - which the newly weds have enjoyed later because these details jogged their memories and excited their imaginations. So enjoy the day, capture a moment or two and everyone will be happy.

[BillsBayou]

Maybe it's a family thing. Some people are just nuts about owning the whole event. I wouldn't put it past a Bridezilla to ban cameras in lieu of her own film crew.

[koalawalla]

Haha :) Bridezilla is my dear cousin. I believe i'm sitting somewhere up front with my mom whom to this day, still holds her record for making the best grilled cheese sandwich my cousin has ever eaten.

[Stefan A]

I disagree with the idea of leaving your gear at home. People bring cameras to weddings - it's as simple as that. But you need to treat the situation like you're just a guest getting snapshots. Don't expect to take formals. I was at a wedding this summer and I had my xt with flash and hood - so I looked somewhat pro. But at no time did I interfere with the pros. I was happy that the one guy acknowledged me a few times and actually took a few minutes to give me tips.

I could see the pros frustration though at the cake cutting. There were lots of people gathered around with flashes going off. It was tough to get a well exposed shot. Some of mine came out all white and I could tell that the pros were having the same problem.

Stefan