Am I an @$$

[Travisj]

Ok long story short, I was dating this girl a few months ago and we decided to get back together. We had only been dating for about two months and then it was over. Here recently we decided to get back together and have been for the last week. Last weekend we spent together and she wasn’t feeling to well so I let her sleep and I was fine with that. Tonight I was supposed to stay with her but when I called her last night she didn’t answer and so I tried to call again today at noon and then she told me that her 4 year old niece was going to stay the night. Well, had I known that I wouldn’t have ever gone over there tonight knowing that it would probably turn out like it did.

My question is, if you’re trying to spend time with someone and it gets interrupted do to some reason, would you leave?

I did and I guess I just got tired of sitting there watching movies by myself cause that’s all I did.

Am I wrong for this?

[Jonathan]

Yes. Stop think of relationships only in terms of what you want.

[-spam-]

The majority of plans that i try to make with my girlfriend get interrupted for some reason or another (usually her parents) but im sticking it out because i love her and she loves me.

Its not so bad now that she has a job and has finished school, but it helped that i understood where her parents where coming from when they said she couldnt go out and i just stuck with it. Now that i have, things are going better than they ever have and we couldnt be happier.

And i agree with Lemminglover, said exactly what i was thinking too.

[matthew h]

Go back with some flowers............

[Primm]

OK, so let me see if I have your story straight.

You were going out with someone, then decided you'd play the field, so you broke up.

You weren't getting any from anywhere else, so you decided to get back together for some more regular action.

You went to her house last weekend with the expectation that you'd get some, but she was sick so you didn't.

Then when you thought you'd get some this week, she had a 4 year old sleep over, thus ensuring no action on this occasion either.

Here's my thoughts (well, you did ask). She's not that into you, and she's keeping you around because you're convenient, but she doesn't want to sleep with you or she wouldn't keep finding reasons not to.

She's got the crankys because you left when she wouldn't put out. She wants romance, flowers and chocolate.

[Jonathan]

Now there speaks the voice of wisdom :-)

[-spam-]

OK, so let me see if I have your story straight.

You were going out with someone, then decided you'd play the field, so you broke up.

You weren't getting any from anywhere else, so you decided to get back together for some more regular action.

You went to her house last weekend with the expectation that you'd get some, but she was sick so you didn't.

Then when you thought you'd get some this week, she had a 4 year old sleep over, thus ensuring no action on this occasion either.

Here's my thoughts (well, you did ask). She's not that into you, and she's keeping you around because you're convenient, but she doesn't want to sleep with you or she wouldn't keep finding reasons not to.

She's got the crankys because you left when she wouldn't put out. She wants romance, flowers and chocolate.

Hail the wise words of Ruth :)

[kevin_c]

............
She wants romance, flowers and chocolate.

Lots of chocolate... ;)

[condyk]

OK, so let me see if I have your story straight.


I didn't read any of that in what he wrote ... did that happen to you instead maybe :lol:

Anyway, to the OP ... if you are interested then keep at it unless you are being treated like a beadbeat. Maybe she is playing hard to get, or maybe it is just coincidence that things haven't worked out so far. But if it's obvious she isn't really that interested then move on. Of course, you could always ask her but that is difficult. I just think if people are interested enough then it isn't such hard work and it's pretty clear to both that the chemistry is there.

[cdifoto]

Am I wrong for this?

Not wrong, just selfish. .................................................. ....................... Life happens.

[asysin2leads]

Now there speaks the voice of wisdom :-)

Either a voice of wisdom or a voice of experience. ;);)

[bcdoug]

so did you go buy a new L lens?

[S.Horton]

You're thinking too much.

Relax.

She's blowing you off. Your choices are:
1. Continue to try (try softer, see above) and hope things change
2. Ignore her, hope things change
3. Move on, and consider what you've learned

You're not an a*s, just young -- This is just one more step in learning.

What you just learned is that she's willing to put the needs of a 4 year old ahead of you.

Or, without the spin, a 4 year old is more important to her than you are.

Tough one. Move on.

Relax. There's never anything you can do or say to make anyone like you.

[TomTomTuning]

Some good advice was given, i really don't have nothing to say other then good luck.

[thekid24]

is she a Nikon shooter by any chance?

[cdifoto]

She's blowing you off.

Maybe, but it sounds to me more like she's putting family first. Nothing wrong with that. My blood relatives come before a girlfriend.

[cowpix]

Not wrong, just selfish. .................................................. .. Life happens.

You are just too funny! :lol::lol::lol:

[S.Horton]

Maybe [she's blowing him off], but it sounds to me more like she's putting family first. Nothing wrong with that. My blood relatives come before a girlfriend.

Of course, if it wasn't a pattern.

;)

[cdifoto]

Of course, if it wasn't a pattern.

;)

Two different incidents don't make a pattern. Lots of people are getting sick/not feeling well this time of year, at least around here and you don't always know too far in advance when a small relative will want to stay with you. If more excuses abound, then yeah I can see it. But not just yet.

[Travisj]

Sorry it took so long to get back, had to work on the computer.

I was kinda feeling selfish but it's sthe second time in a week that I have spent the whole thime with her tv and not her. I can understand her wanting to spend time with the grand kids and I get that but I wish she would have told me the night before and this wouldn't have ever happened. We try to spend as much time together as possible but when I heard about this yesterday I went against my better judgement and went over there anyway.

I just wish she would have been up front with me sooner and I think all of this could have been avoided.

And no I didn't go buy a new lens but I did get a nice letter from my mom, and what it had in it will help me get my new lens..:D

Back on track, we did talk this morning and I think everything will be fine I just have to tell here the truth and let her know it's not her tv I'm interested in....

[thekid24]

is it a 64 inch flat screen HD tv by any chance?

[Travisj]

is it a 64 inch flat screen HD tv by any chance?


IF it were, then I'd be interested in her tv..:lol:

[XPHALCON]

Now there speaks the voice of wisdom :-)


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[S.Horton]

.........then she must be cute.

:shock:8-)

Have fun!

[dave kadolph]

is she a Nikon shooter by any chance?


And does she think the D3 is amazing?

Sorry-I'll climb back under my rock:p

[Travisj]

And does she think the D3 is amazing?

Sorry-I'll climb back under my rock:p


Haha, no she doesn't shoot at all, thats where I come in...:cool: But thanks for the laugh..

[Yiskah]

I say... just practice what your avatar preaches and chill... :)

[Travisj]

I say... just practice what your avatar preaches and chill... :)


Tried that...:confused: Her son who's 17 said he's never heard those noises come out of his mom's room before. I didn't know what to say to that.:oops:

[Yiskah]

Tried that...:confused: Her son who's 17 said he's never heard those noises come out of his mom's room before. I didn't know what to say to that.:oops:
I'd definitely take that as a true compliment!!! Say nothing... just smile.

[Travisj]

I'd definitely take that as a true compliment!!! Say nothing... just smile.


Hell, I got a kick out of it a little later, that was Christmas night...:D

[XPHALCON]

Tried that...:confused: Her son who's 17 said he's never heard those noises come out of his mom's room before. I didn't know what to say to that.:oops:


Let me get this straight. This girl that you really like, has a 17 year old son. If so, how old is she if I may ask? And how old are you if I may ask? I just do not want to be stereotyping base on assumptions.

[Travisj]

Let me get this straight. This girl that you really like, has a 17 year old son. If so, how old is she if I may ask? And how old are you if I may ask? I just do not want to be stereotyping base on assumptions.


I'm 31 and she's 42.

[XPHALCON]

O.K. I was a bit misled by your first post. Maybe informing us that you are an adult male having a difficult time keeping a relationship with a single mother changes things a bit, would you agree?

[Travisj]

O.K. I was a bit misled by your first post. Maybe informing us that you are an adult male having a difficult time keeping a relationship with a single mother changes things a bit, would you agree?


With out a doubt, I'm sorry for not giving the whole story in the begining but I had just got back and wasn't in the best of moods and wanted to keep it short so as not to bore anyone with details to that of which I guess I shouldn't have left out.

[cdifoto]

Hell dude I thought you were a 19 year old kid with a just-turned-18 year old gf.

[Travisj]

Hell dude I thought you were a 19 year old kid with a just-turned-18 year old gf.


Nope, that would have made it a lot easier. I would have went after another 18 year old...;) And would have prolly got the same outcome.:(

[XPHALCON]

Hell dude I thought you were a 19 year old kid with a just-turned-18 year old gf.


Same here!

Now what was the original question? "am I an @ss"

I will give the credit to someone else to answer that first. :confused:

[Travisj]

Same here!

Now what was the original question? "am I an @ss"

I will give the credit to someone else to answer that first. :confused:


I'm starting to think the answer is yes, it's amazing what can happen when you sit down and take the time to think....:(

[S.Horton]

Warning: I don't know you -- this could simply be entirely wrong.;)

Ease up on yourself.

I thought you were dealing with a teen who was babysitting, not a grandmother.

When I read this I think you want it to work out.

But, go shoot some great photos and consider this.

You're involved with someone who is largely unavailable to you in some real ways for real reasons which will not change. Why?

She's willing to engage in activity which her children can overhear which, at best, is inappropriate. Why?

If she's told you all about her romantic history, then you may assume all patterns will repeat. With you involved. Comfortable with that outcome?

There are teens and toddlers in her life. If you become a part of that life, are you ready to deal with all of that baggage?

The louder the 'thump' when the baggage is dropped, the louder the message.

Reminds me of a lyric --
"Take it Back", by Pink Floyd

Now I have seen the warnings, screaming from all sides
It's easy to ignore them and G-d knows I've tried
All this temptation, it turned my faith to lies
Until I couldn't see the danger or hear the rising tide

[Travisj]

Warning: I don't know you -- this could simply be entirely wrong.;)

Ease up on yourself.

I thought you were dealing with a teen who was babysitting, not a grandmother.

When I read this I think you want it to work out.

But, go shoot some great photos and consider this.

You're involved with someone who is largely unavailable to you in some real ways for real reasons which will not change. Why?

She's willing to engage in activity which her children can overhear which, at best, is inappropriate. Why?

If she's told you all about her romantic history, then you may assume all patterns will repeat. With you involved. Comfortable with that outcome?

There are teens and toddlers in her life. If you become a part of that life, are you ready to deal with all of that baggage?

The louder the 'thump' when the baggage is dropped, the louder the message.

Reminds me of a lyric --
"Take it Back", by Pink Floyd

Now I have seen the warnings, screaming from all sides
It's easy to ignore them and G-d knows I've tried
All this temptation, it turned my faith to lies
Until I couldn't see the danger or hear the rising tide


Too true my friend, we've talked a little and are just going to take it slow. We'll figure it out one way or another.;)

[Glenn NK]

Wow - Anne Landers was never this interesting.:lol:

[PhotosGuy]

We'll figure it out one way or another. Good luck. After you figure that out, answer this question for me. "If I say something & she doesn't hear me, am I still wrong?" :D

[Travisj]

Good luck. After you figure that out, answer this question for me. "If I say something & she doesn't hear me, am I still wrong?" :D


Hell no, I refuse to be wrong even if she does hear me....


Hey wait, that might be part of my problem....:(

[S.Horton]

The French would like your avatar.

Travel to Paris sometime, sit in the American for about an hour.

American women are unique, and uniquely demanding because of [politics deleted by forum]

Have fun!

;):cool:

[AccidentalArt]

Got any pictures? :cool: (just kidding)

[Travisj]

The French would like your avatar.

Travel to Paris sometime, sit in the American for about an hour.

American women are unique, and uniquely demanding because of [politics deleted by forum]

Have fun!

;):cool:


As tempting as that sounds, I think I'll stay in the states. Last thing I need to do is turn it into an international disaster....:D

[Travisj]

Got any pictures? :cool: (just kidding)


As a matter of fact, yes, I do...:p

[Barb42]

Good Grief, the woman is too old for you and this will never work. And behaving the way she is in front of her teenage is stupid beyond belief. I think the idea of an older woman may sound attractive and just plain sexy, but in the long run - well, just run, and let it go at that.

[S.Horton]

^^ Love is chemically blind.

[condyk]

Given the very limited information offered by our good humoured Lothario it is amazing how judgemental some folks are. I say do what you feel is right pal and ignore what all these people are saying, however well meaning they may be.

[Jonathan]

My original comments still apply - the age gap changes nothing. However, kids do and there you should tread carefully my friend.