Conk
23rd of October 2004 (Sat), 20:15
It was a Saturday evening and with no Hockey Night In Canada on tv this year, I decided to Kyle Calder up the Brad Boyes for a night on the town.
We decided to head out for some Jason Botterill’s of Eric Brewers. The plan was to make a quick stop at Stu Barns Patio, and the head up the street to Jim Rob Rays for some Alexei Smirnov’s and OJ.
It was a little Marc-Andre Fleury outside so we didn’t stay at Matthew Barneby’s Patio too Roberto Luongo. We decided to Brad Leeb so we hopped in a Pavel Kubina and went up the road. When we got to Jim Rob Ray’s they were Josh Holden the line like usual, so we had to wait to get Jarome Iginla.
We Jeff Finley got inside, and all the place was packed with a ton of Marcel and Marian Hossa’s. We went to the bar and ordered the usual Jaromir Jagr-Jay Bouwmeester shots with a couple of Aaron, Kevin, Kip and Ryan Miller Genuine Drafts to go.
It was looking to be a great Shane Hnidy.
The boys split up to go pick Scottie Upshall some Sergei Brylins. By this time the boys were getting pretty Harold Druken, and being Owen Fussey was not an option. A couple of the boys were dancing with girls that were Rico Fata, I am talking way to over Doug Weight. Another one of the guys picked up 2 real Matt Husseys and was on his way out with them.
Now I was all alone and I hadn’t been laid in like 2 Kevin Weekes, so if I didn’t pick up that would have been a real Daniel Blackburn. I saw this real cute Andrew Brunette from across the bar waiting for the Todd Bertuzzi heavy Fred Brathwaites my other buddy’s were with. I Wes Walz over and started Oleg Saprykin to her. This girl had a mint Tom Barasso and I had to tell her. I told her I was Tommy Salo and she said she was also Sami Salo so I figured I had nothing to lose so I would invite her home. She said no thanks she was not that kind of girl, but then Eric Staal’d for a second and said she would split a cab with me. I agreed and we flirted the whole ride back to her Drake Berehowsky. When we got there we said our goodbyes, but she had this look in her eyes and she quickly asked me if I wanted to come in for a bit, she whispered “Maybe Matt Stajan the night?”
We got inside and I took off my Darryl Bootland’s. She invited me to her Pascal Rheaume. I walked through the door and before I knew it she Dave Andreychuk’d me on to her Jaroslav Bednar. I knew I was about to Brad Tapper.
She said she would be right back, she was going to freshen up, but I knew she was just going so trim her Jason Whooley Kelly Buchburger, which didn’t bother me a bit.
She came back in the room handed me a glass of water, I took a sip and all of a sudden our clothes came Nik Antropov and hit the Ed Belfour. She was an Andre Savage!!! I munched her Ryan Vandenbussche and played with her Trent Klatt for abit. She Marek Zidlicky'd my Marcel Goc then took out a Tie Domi, put it on my Artem Chubarov and was Micheal Ryder my Joe Sakic before I knew it
Now we moved over to a Zdeno Chara and I was Radek Bonk’n her from the back. I was Vernan Fiddler with her Jordan Tootoo’s, and I had her Travis Moen’n and Stephane Yelle’n.
I started getting a little Eric Daze, and wasn’t seeing very Daniel Cleary. I thought I was just still drunk from the bar so I slowed down a bit.
She told me she wanted me to Roman Hamrlik her, so I gave it to her Josh Harding, trying not to Jim Cummings too fast but next thing I know is I hit her Johan Hedberg off the wall and she John Tripp’d and fell on the floor. Off came her David Legwand and Adam Foote. This chick had a Jozef Stumpel.
I stood there Cory Stillman…
I thought about it for a minute, I wanted to deak, but she looked Arron Asham’d so I just let her Pavel Datsyuk my Ron Tugnutts until I Jason Spezza my Mike Comrie then called it a night…
THE END - hope you got a good laugh
We decided to head out for some Jason Botterill’s of Eric Brewers. The plan was to make a quick stop at Stu Barns Patio, and the head up the street to Jim Rob Rays for some Alexei Smirnov’s and OJ.
It was a little Marc-Andre Fleury outside so we didn’t stay at Matthew Barneby’s Patio too Roberto Luongo. We decided to Brad Leeb so we hopped in a Pavel Kubina and went up the road. When we got to Jim Rob Ray’s they were Josh Holden the line like usual, so we had to wait to get Jarome Iginla.
We Jeff Finley got inside, and all the place was packed with a ton of Marcel and Marian Hossa’s. We went to the bar and ordered the usual Jaromir Jagr-Jay Bouwmeester shots with a couple of Aaron, Kevin, Kip and Ryan Miller Genuine Drafts to go.
It was looking to be a great Shane Hnidy.
The boys split up to go pick Scottie Upshall some Sergei Brylins. By this time the boys were getting pretty Harold Druken, and being Owen Fussey was not an option. A couple of the boys were dancing with girls that were Rico Fata, I am talking way to over Doug Weight. Another one of the guys picked up 2 real Matt Husseys and was on his way out with them.
Now I was all alone and I hadn’t been laid in like 2 Kevin Weekes, so if I didn’t pick up that would have been a real Daniel Blackburn. I saw this real cute Andrew Brunette from across the bar waiting for the Todd Bertuzzi heavy Fred Brathwaites my other buddy’s were with. I Wes Walz over and started Oleg Saprykin to her. This girl had a mint Tom Barasso and I had to tell her. I told her I was Tommy Salo and she said she was also Sami Salo so I figured I had nothing to lose so I would invite her home. She said no thanks she was not that kind of girl, but then Eric Staal’d for a second and said she would split a cab with me. I agreed and we flirted the whole ride back to her Drake Berehowsky. When we got there we said our goodbyes, but she had this look in her eyes and she quickly asked me if I wanted to come in for a bit, she whispered “Maybe Matt Stajan the night?”
We got inside and I took off my Darryl Bootland’s. She invited me to her Pascal Rheaume. I walked through the door and before I knew it she Dave Andreychuk’d me on to her Jaroslav Bednar. I knew I was about to Brad Tapper.
She said she would be right back, she was going to freshen up, but I knew she was just going so trim her Jason Whooley Kelly Buchburger, which didn’t bother me a bit.
She came back in the room handed me a glass of water, I took a sip and all of a sudden our clothes came Nik Antropov and hit the Ed Belfour. She was an Andre Savage!!! I munched her Ryan Vandenbussche and played with her Trent Klatt for abit. She Marek Zidlicky'd my Marcel Goc then took out a Tie Domi, put it on my Artem Chubarov and was Micheal Ryder my Joe Sakic before I knew it
Now we moved over to a Zdeno Chara and I was Radek Bonk’n her from the back. I was Vernan Fiddler with her Jordan Tootoo’s, and I had her Travis Moen’n and Stephane Yelle’n.
I started getting a little Eric Daze, and wasn’t seeing very Daniel Cleary. I thought I was just still drunk from the bar so I slowed down a bit.
She told me she wanted me to Roman Hamrlik her, so I gave it to her Josh Harding, trying not to Jim Cummings too fast but next thing I know is I hit her Johan Hedberg off the wall and she John Tripp’d and fell on the floor. Off came her David Legwand and Adam Foote. This chick had a Jozef Stumpel.
I stood there Cory Stillman…
I thought about it for a minute, I wanted to deak, but she looked Arron Asham’d so I just let her Pavel Datsyuk my Ron Tugnutts until I Jason Spezza my Mike Comrie then called it a night…
THE END - hope you got a good laugh