supreme court decision

[marie]

the supreme court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in washington DC this Christmas

this isn't for any religious reason.
they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the nation's capitol

there is no problem however, finding enough asses to fill the stable



















:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Scottes]

ROFL!

[billsh]

That would be funny if it weren't so true. It's a sad commentary on our society.

[marie]

That would be funny if it weren't so true. It's a sad commentary on our society.


oh but it is only a joke
(I mean , no one take offence please... am saying that 'just in case')


a friend in Arizona sent it to me many years ago
and I got giddy (again )
:? saw it here in front of me and posted it.

if you only saw half the jokes about kerrymen and the irish in general you would die laughing .
they don't bother anyone.
I have a book of kerry /irish jokes and , just now, can't find them (amongst hundreds of books) :?

but I wanted to put some on to show it's all only a laugh at ourselves and not at any country or persons in particular...

the names (of whatever place is mentioned) can be changed
'to protect the innocent' (at any time)

if there are any innocent :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



when I find the book.................................

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[CyberDyneSystems]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Sounds right to me!

[FlipsidE]

LOL!! Freakin hilarious! I needed a good laugh!

FlipsidE

[Belmondo]

It reminds a little of the definition of a virgin in Washington D.c.


It's an ugly third grader.


:oops: (not believing I actually said that)

[JZaun]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Marie thats GOOD!!!


JZ

[vfilby]

Thanks Marie!

[marie]

:)

thanks all
(re the above ):)


a kerryman is a man from the county of kerry in Ireland
people from the city of dublin ( ireland) were (and are ) called 'jackeens'
a lot of fun formed between the two places ( kerry and dublin) over the years, with remarks being flung about by one or the other.


here are some of the jokes but no bad feeling was ever there

~~~~~

after his wife had twins a kerryman went out with a shotgun... looking for the other man


~~~
a kerryman had a brain transplant, but the brain rejected him
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

what do you call a kerryman under a wheelbarrow ?

a mechanic
~~~~~~~~~~

a kerryman rang Aer Lingus and asked how long it took to fly from Dublin to London.

"just a minute sir " said the girl at the desk


"thank you" said the kerryman... and hung up

:shock:

~~~ ~ ~


A kerryman went to the cinema and having bought his ticket went in to see the film

a few minutes later he came back to the box office and bought another ticket


five minuters later he returned and bought a third ticket

"look" said the girl at the ticket office "what are you playing at? that's the third ticket you bought "

"I know" said the kerryman , "but there's a crazy guy inside who keeps tearing them up "


~~~~~~~~~


a man hired a kerryman as an assistant to take phone calls


one day the phone rang
and when the kerryman answered he hung up immediately.

"who was that" ? asked his boss

"some fool saying it was a long distance from New York.

I told him everybody knew that "



~~~ ~ ~

have you heard about the kerryman who damaged his health by drinking milk?

the cow fell on him



~~~ ~ ~


Have you heard about the Kerryman whose library was burned down ?

Both books were destroyed.

worse still, one hadn't even been coloured in

~~~ ~ ~

a kerryman attended a concert where a ventriloquist ,
who fancied himself as a comedian, told about twenty kerryman jokes.

"look" shouted the kerryman, standing up in the audience
"I'm fed up being insulted by all these jokes.
we're not as stupid as you make out"


"please sit down sir, and be calm" said the ventriloquist
"after all, it's only a joke , and don't tell me that kerrymen haven't got a sense of humour "

"I'm not talking to you" said the kerryman....

" I'm talking to that little fellow on your knee "

~~~ ~


A Kerryman bought a new car on a fantastic hire purchase scheme....
100% down and nothing to pay each month

~~~ ~ ~


A Kerryman who had fallen into a lot of money went to the doctor with an injured leg

"that looks nasty" said the doctor.... "I'd better give you a local anaesthetic"

"hang the expence" said the Kerryman
"I'll have the imported one"

~~~ ~ ~


Have you heard about the expedition of kerrymen who set out to climb Mount Everest ?

they ran out of scaffolding thirty feet from the top


~~~ ~~

A kerryman had a mule whose ears were so long that every time he put him into the stable the mule grazed his ears on the top of the doorway.

so the kerryman decided to knock six inches off the wall over the doorway

"why don't you take away the ledge under the door" asked a friend
" it would be less dangerous and much less expensive"

"look" said the kerryman.... "it's the mule's ears that are causing the trouble, not his feet"


~~~ ~~

How many kerrymen does it take to milk a cow?

twenty four
one to hold each teat, and twenty to lift the cow up and down


~~~ ~~

One kerryman bet another that he couldn't carry him across Niagara Falls on a tightrope.

after a hair-raising trip they made it to the other side

as one kerryman handed the bet of £200 to the other he sighed ...
" I was sure I had won the bet when you wobbled halfway over"

~~~ ~~

a kerryman saw a notice reading :
'man wanted for robbery and murder'

he went in and applied for the job

~~ ~~~


a kerryman went to a drive-in movie

he didn't like the show so he slashed the seats


~~~ ~~ :?


what do you do if a kerryman throws a pin at you ?

run like mad , he's probably got a grenade between his teeth


~~~~


how do you recognise a kerry pirate ?

he's got a patch over each eye

:lol: :lol:

[JZaun]

Thats cute marie,, here in Virginia we tell "Red-neck" jokes about people in North Carolina or West Virginia :D

JZ

[karusel]

The first one is a hammer. :lol:


You know why there is so many Kerry jokes and no Bush jokes around on the net? Bush's jokes can be heard in his every speech.

Yeah, it's not funny at all. :roll:

Tommy (Thompson, Health and Human Services secretary) is a good listener, and he’s a pretty good actor, too.

I love the idea of a school in which people come to get educated and stay in the state in which they’re educated.

I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn’t here.

I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life throughout our society.

Fun fact: those four come from one single speech. :lol:

[Canon_User]

Umm, Why hasn't this been locked and deleted?

"Political and religious discussions are absolutely prohibited."

[thomascanty]

Umm, Why hasn't this been locked and deleted?

"Political and religious discussions are absolutely prohibited."

Maybe because it's not a political or religious discussion? It's just a bunch of jokes...

[Lamplight]

:lol:

You people are cracking me up! :D:lol:

[Canuck]

I wished I had seen this one earlier...
Marie, I hope you know about this and maybe you saw a show first hand, but has anyone else heard of Noel V. Ginnity? I first heard about him on the Irish Pub Tour I did and he is incredibly funny. There are a few tapes/CDs out there. Obviously he's a lot easier to find in the UK/Ireland but there is one CD I have, Wearing of the Grin. and a tape which has eluded me. Oh that pub tour was great! I gotta get back over to ROI/ UK.

[marie]

I wished I had seen this one earlier...
Marie, I hope you know about this and maybe you saw a show first hand, but has anyone else heard of Noel V. Ginnity? I first heard about him on the Irish Pub Tour I did and he is incredibly funny. There are a few tapes/CDs out there. Obviously he's a lot easier to find in the UK/Ireland but there is one CD I have, Wearing of the Grin. and a tape which has eluded me. Oh that pub tour was great! I gotta get back over to ROI/ UK.



:lol:

I know of him very well
he used to be on tv a lot
a very funny man.

are you in music ....when you say you did an irish tour ?

'wearing of the grin' sounds really funny considering it's usually 'wearing of the green' :lol: :lol: :lol:

if you want me to look out for a particular cd for you just let me know

thanks