Infant bereavement photography???

[maytay20]

I really want to do this, but I am wondering if I have enough skill to yet?? I want to join http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ (http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/) and get on the list of photographers. Not for money I wouldn't charge anything for this of course. But in my heart I know how much I wish I had better photos of my son who I had and lost 26 weeks into my pregnancy. My question is with the few photos that are on the site what kind of lighting and other equipment is needed?? I have a 40D with kit lens, 30D and it's kit lens and a 50mm 1.8. I also have a set of constant studio lights and the 430EX. I have done weddings and lots of portraits just am still not sure of my skill as of yet. I use my camera in only the creative modes and no automatic modes. I am still not sure if my heart is ready to see this again first hand but i know it would feel good to give a parent that has had such a sudden loss some wonderful memories. And also I can;t give them a tone of sheets for free so how should I go about handling that end?? Maybe just giving them to them at cost?? Like I said I am not looking to make money on this but I also can't break my family's budget. I would love to hear others opinions on this topic. Thank you, Mary

[asysin2leads]

I am a affiliated photographer for NILMDTS. All services are provided free of charge. Your sessions are uploaded to Collages.net and the family can order prints from there if they wish. There are no orders placed through you. You can, if you want, give them a CD/DVD with the images on there. That's given for free, too. You're responsible for all shipping costs, materials and your own equipment. There is no reimbursement for your time other than what you can claim on your taxes. NILMDTS is a great organization. I have done 2 sessions for them. It is time consuming with processing all the images and making the necessary enhancements. My advice to you is to apply. They do require you to submit images for review and acceptance.

NILMDTS isn't for everyone. It is a very emotional job.

As far as lighting goes..... I mainly use my speedlite. Many times, there isn't enough room for a studio-like setup. The first session I did was in a small broom closet sized room and was hurried up by the hospital staff. I was only able to get a couple of pictures of the little guy. The second session I did was in the actual L&D suite and had room for a complete studio if I needed. A lot of NILMDTS photogs only use natural light. You're 50 1.8 would be sufficient. In my first session, my 85 1.8 was a bit long and had to change to my 24-70 2.8. What kit lens do you have for your 40D? The 28-135? That with a speedlite should be sufficient. My 28-135 was pretty sharp.

[airfrogusmc]

Heres a guy (friend of mine) that just incredible and has been doing it a very long time. All available light...

http://www.toddhochberg.com/main.html

Watch the PBS piece.

http://www.momentsheld.org/movies/wttw_movie.html

[adblink]

I highly respect any of you guys that do these types of shoots, its hard to look at the images, nevermind actually do the session

[egordon99]

Kudos to you folks that do this. My wife and I were just talking about this the other night as she has a colleague who may be facing a difficult situation shortly. I don't think I could ever do this, but I have tremendous respect for those that do, and I know the families are appreciative of whatever memories they can obtain of their little precious ones.

[Mike R]

It's great that there are folks like you. I do work for the Make-A-Wish Foundation and it can be emotional, but nothing like what you guys do.

[noxcuses1]

I highly respect any of you guys that do these types of shoots, its hard to look at the images, nevermind actually do the session

I totally agree. I've considered doing this as well, and just get choked up looking at the pics. I couldn't handle the emotion in front of the families.

Kudos +1

[laurielozano]

I am an affiliate photog for NILMDTS. I got started with them after shooting pics of my own nephew, born at 30 weeks with severe muscular distrophy. I posted some images of him here...http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthread.php?t=456088&highlight=noah I was unsure of my skill too, before I signed up, but felt compelled that I still needed to do so.
I used a 30d 50mm f/1.8 and a 430ex speedlight. I still use that. I think you will do just fine with what you have. The question to ask yourself is , can you handle the emotional stress you may subject yourself to. If you can say yes to that, then you will do just fine.

[DrmnOfMaui]

Wow.... All the photos are beautiful. I would love to help someone at such a time, but I don't think my pictures would be good enough. What a wonderful idea to help someone in such a difficult time. You are all truly doing something worthwhile. Kudos to you....

[kona77]

maytay20,
NILMDTS is a very worthwhile cause and money should be the least of your worries, even providing something at cost is not generally acceptable. The organization wants a photographer to shoot the situation for the family, that is why you are there.

I have been a member for over a year and have done many shoots. I can tell you that none of them are easy. I have been there when the baby is taken off life support, when one twin has passed away and the other is living, or when a full term baby dies just a day before delivery. The situation is of the most horrific times for these families and tact and professionalism is of the utmost importance. There is a handbook that they provide and it is well written. Photographing the baby is important but just as important is your dealings with the family.

Some photographers will bring an extra light besides their flash, I on the other hand use a 5D & a 20D, a 580EX II flash with 24-70 and a 100mm micro. This is not a situation where you position everyone for everyshot, you work with what you have. The mom is usually still on medication and can not leave her bed and the dad and family are stunned. Simple suggestions are important but there is a delicate balance.

Once the you leave the hospital the PP takes some time due to the bruising and damage to the skin because of the passing of the baby and trauma from birth.

Lastly is the emotional toll that it takes on you. I work with another photographer and in a 2 week period we both did 2 sets of twins as well as 7 other infants. One of the calls came during a maternity shoot. The call can some anytime of the day or night and will take a couple of hours to half a day.

If you can deal with some of the above issues you will do well. This is not for everyone and don't feel any less if you don't participate.

Good Luck

[heycow]

@kona77, so you partially answered one of my questions. But can you explain more about how you get contacted. Do they call you if they think there's going to be a problem or only after there was a problem? If you can't make it do they call someone else or are there not that many photographers for each area?

Also, I know each shoot is different, but do they encourage you to "restrain" your emotions? I don't know how that would be possible, but are you supposed to be in a "reporter" mode and just observe?

To all of you who do this, I think it's amazing work you're doing. I've considered it myself, but to be honest I don't think I'd be able to do it without breaking down. I'm still giving it thought...

[kona77]

@kona77, so you partially answered one of my questions. But can you explain more about how you get contacted. Do they call you if they think there's going to be a problem or only after there was a problem? If you can't make it do they call someone else or are there not that many photographers for each area?

Also, I know each shoot is different, but do they encourage you to "restrain" your emotions? I don't know how that would be possible, but are you supposed to be in a "reporter" mode and just observe?

To all of you who do this, I think it's amazing work you're doing. I've considered it myself, but to be honest I don't think I'd be able to do it without breaking down. I'm still giving it thought...

Hi heycow,

You work under an area coordinator that will go down a list of names when the hospital contacts them to see who is available.

With regards to emotion, it is not easy but with your strength and the gift that you are bringing they look to you for some support. You are bringing sometimes the only positive to a terrible situation, you are capturing some of the only photos of a beautiful baby who will never leave the hospital so to speak.

It is very easy to fall to the emotion but you put your photographers hat on and you keep telling yourself you are there for a very important reason. I consider it an honor to be part of a special situation and I want to do the best job that I can so I have to check my emotions at the door.

When I get home which is usually at night I go and give my son a huge hug and consider myself very fortunate.

If you have more questions feel free to ask.

Thanks

[airfrogusmc]

@kona77, so you partially answered one of my questions. But can you explain more about how you get contacted. Do they call you if they think there's going to be a problem or only after there was a problem? If you can't make it do they call someone else or are there not that many photographers for each area?

Also, I know each shoot is different, but do they encourage you to "restrain" your emotions? I don't know how that would be possible, but are you supposed to be in a "reporter" mode and just observe?

To all of you who do this, I think it's amazing work you're doing. I've considered it myself, but to be honest I don't think I'd be able to do it without breaking down. I'm still giving it thought...

Did you watch this?

http://www.momentsheld.org/movies/wttw_movie.html

Also it helps to have as strong background in medical photography as Todd does. I think what has made Todd so successful at it is he wants to become invisible in the room. When the family says they didn't even know he was there thats success to Todd. That comes from the entire approach he takes. No flash, available light only. He was shooting with Leica M cameras all B&W film.

[AndreaBFS]

This might come across as really harsh and it's really not intended to be.. but I feel I have to say it. Please take it in the spirit that it's intended... in the spirit of the utmost compassion for the parents of the child.

If one is not 100% secure and completely confident that they can go into that room and deliver on the technical and compositional aspects of the job (not touching the emotional side since no one knows how they will react at that point), I don't think they should volunteer for NILMDTS quite yet.

I know that's a really hard line view and I am sure some will disagree... but I am sincerely overwhelmed by the terror of going into a situation where these will be the ONLY photos these parents will EVER have of their child... not even a wedding can compare to the tragedy that it would be if those photos somehow did not end up being usable.

With a wedding, that person is still in your life.. if you end up with bad wedding photos, it's not the end of the world. You can have 100 more photo sessions with your new spouse. I realize that there are areas where there are no volunteers and in that case, I fully believe that it's better to have someone than no one.

[kona77]

This might come across as really harsh and it's really not intended to be.. but I feel I have to say it. Please take it in the spirit that it's intended... in the spirit of the utmost compassion for the parents of the child.

If one is not 100% secure and completely confident that they can go into that room and deliver on the technical and compositional aspects of the job (not touching the emotional side since no one knows how they will react at that point), I don't think they should volunteer for NILMDTS quite yet.

I know that's a really hard line view and I am sure some will disagree... but I am sincerely overwhelmed by the terror of going into a situation where these will be the ONLY photos these parents will EVER have of their child... not even a wedding can compare to the tragedy that it would be if those photos somehow did not end up being usable.

With a wedding, that person is still in your life.. if you end up with bad wedding photos, it's not the end of the world. You can have 100 more photo sessions with your new spouse. I realize that there are areas where there are no volunteers and in that case, I fully believe that it's better to have someone than no one.


AndreaBFS,

I don't think you sound harsh at all and that is a very valid point. I worked with one photographer who seemed like he was a nervous wreck the entire time. He was far from smooth and had no ability to blend in.

This is not something that anyone can do and whoever can not should not harbor any bad feelings about themselves or their ability.

[jpyeast]

What an incredible service! I can tell you that being a paramedic for the last 12 years you run across just about everything and anything. You learn (and teach yourself) to separate your emotions and delivering the care you are trained to give, without prejudice or judgment. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but it's what we must do. Most people in EMS will tell you though, when it comes to kids, your adrenaline kicks in and takes over. The pediatric calls, no matter what they are, always get the best of you. You give it 150% no matter what. Being the one who has run those calls and been the first on the scene to try and revive that young life, giving it your best efforts, sometimes just isn't enough, too late, or just out of our hands. On those calls, I always finding myself, I wish I could do more.

My hats of to those of you who contribute your time and skills to these families. I know this is certainly something I want to look into.