A stark reminder to us all

[tim]

The sudden and unexpected death of the mother of one of my wedding customers from this year prompts me to remind everyone about the importance of what we do. The wedding photos are the last taken of her, they're the only photos of the family taken in the past few years. The mother was a little shy, so there weren't many photos of her taken even at the wedding.

This isn't a rare occurrence, i've had a number of calls like this over the past few years.

We're not just there to take pretty pictures of the bride and groom, we're there to document the day and take photos of everyone close to the bride and groom. I know in future i'll put more emphasis on taking photos of the parents, the grandparents, and the elderly friends of family of the bride and groom. If people don't want their photo taken have the bride and groom come over and take their photo together.

The prints i'm having made for the family will be part of the way the husband and family remember her. Don't take the responsibility lightly, we're the guardians of precious memories for these families.

[egordon99]

Nice post tim..... At my first wedding last weekend, the bride's father was having an absolute blast (bride was a bit older, so father was up there in age) on the dance floor so I made sure to get LOTS of pictures of him. I'm sure the bride will love them and I realize he won't be here forever (who is?) so I wanted to make sure she has some great memories of him....

Another quick story, I was at a holiday party at my wife's job and I got a quick snap of two employees, a man and a woman. A few months later my wife asks me if I can send a high res copy of that image to the woman since she remembered I took their picture. Turns out the man had just passed away from cancer (I had no idea he was sick at the time). She was so grateful to have that picture of her and her good friend. That alone makes all of this worth it for me.....

[Suedezu]

This is an excellent reminder of the importance of what we do as wedding photographers and the responsibility we have to cover the event as perfectly as we can.

Also this reminds us not to focus solely on the bride and groom.

What a sad story, Tim!

I will try to keep this in mind for my future weddings. Thank you!

[shaggymatt]

Similar for me. My grandmother passed away shortly after my wedding. Those were the last somewhat formal (beach wedding) pictures anyone had of her.

I was a second shooter at a wedding this past weekend, as my first paid gig. I made it a point to try and at least get a picture of every couple during the slow dances.

[Mike]

A good but sad post Tim, thanks for sharing.

[Robert16]

A good point well made - something to think about.

[BOUNCINGNRG]

Well said Tim. I did a wedding for a friend in a simular situation, they were brave enough to tell me in advance that there dad was ill, so i was able to get plenty of pic's of him, he passed away 2 weeks after the wedding.

[BeccaJ]

I think this falls true for any family event...not just weddings. Before i got seriously into photography, i had brought a friend with me to my family christmas. I wasnt taking pictures of everyone individually, but i got the camera out for a group pic before everyone left. My friend took the picture of all of us. That was the last Christmas my cousin was here with us (2006), as he was killed in Iraq a few days prior to Christmas '07. I even have a pic of him, his brother, and 2 cousins from Easter 03 that i took with a point and shoot, not thinking anything of it... I dont know what I'd do if I ever lost either of those pictures.

Thanks for the reminder. I have a wedding coming up on the 25th.

[yuriyo923]

I was at a Christmas party with my wife and her side of the family last year and took some pictures, group and individual. Took some pics of her mom and grandparents. Well about 2 months her grandpa passed away and when we got to the funeral I was surprised to see the picture that I took of her grandpa on the cascet... Very good point you made Tim!!!

[sando]

The sudden and unexpected death of the mother of one of my wedding customers from this year prompts me to remind everyone about the importance of what we do. The wedding photos are the last taken of her, they're the only photos of the family taken in the past few years. The mother was a little shy, so there weren't many photos of her taken even at the wedding.

This isn't a rare occurrence, i've had a number of calls like this over the past few years.

We're not just there to take pretty pictures of the bride and groom, we're there to document the day and take photos of everyone close to the bride and groom. I know in future i'll put more emphasis on taking photos of the parents, the grandparents, and the elderly friends of family of the bride and groom. If people don't want their photo taken have the bride and groom come over and take their photo together.

The prints i'm having made for the family will be part of the way the husband and family remember her. Don't take the responsibility lightly, we're the guardians of precious memories for these families.You're a sentimental softie at heart, ain't ya, Tim. ;)

Good post. :D

[john salgado]

Well said , true professional.

[Wilt]

The sudden and unexpected death of the mother of one of my wedding customers from this year prompts me to remind everyone about the importance of what we do. The wedding photos are the last taken of her, they're the only photos of the family taken in the past few years. The mother was a little shy, so there weren't many photos of her taken even at the wedding.

This isn't a rare occurrence, i've had a number of calls like this over the past few years.

We're not just there to take pretty pictures of the bride and groom, we're there to document the day and take photos of everyone close to the bride and groom. I know in future i'll put more emphasis on taking photos of the parents, the grandparents, and the elderly friends of family of the bride and groom. If people don't want their photo taken have the bride and groom come over and take their photo together.

The prints i'm having made for the family will be part of the way the husband and family remember her. Don't take the responsibility lightly, we're the guardians of precious memories for these families.

Thanks for that reminder, Tim. I often think that photographers take too casually the wedding job, and tackle them before they are truly ready to undertake an important task. As you point out, as important as the bride and groom are on this day, even more important is the fact that the wedding serves as a reason why family members and close friends come very long distances at great cost or inconvenience. And our job is to chronicle that gathering because of the unknown about when, if ever, the group is assembled again. So while you can rent a tux and restage a wedding, the loved ones from far away cannot be 'restaged'! It really disturbs me to read "I'm shooting my first wedding, how do I use a flash?" or similar things, when the photographer is not a close friend or relative filling in when the budget is tight!

[LVPhotos]

Very good points... we were just talking about this today... in the most basic sense, this is the order in which we "prioritize" our photo-taking time:

1. Bride
1a. Groom
2. B&G Together
3. Grandparents (for exactly the reason posted in the OP)
4. Parents
5. Cute little kids.

Of course there's a ton of things that go below #5 but I think most would agree these are pretty good priorities!

[ironchef31]

This is a very good point. I love photography because I get to be a witness to peoples lives. The one wedding i helped with, i made a point to have some special shots of the brides 90 year old grandmother. She passed away shortly after the wedding.

[FlyingPhotog]

Forgive me for horning in but I just wanted to say that I like the sentiment being expressed here...

It's not just "family" events where capturing images may be of some emotional benefit at a later time. The flying community is litterally peppered with instances where a quickie "snap shot" taken at a pancake fly in or barbeque turns out to be the last image captured of a friend and fellow pilot.

Cherish the moments .. Live in the moments .. Hold on the memories

[S-S]

tim i totally agree, professional event photos are often seen as a bonus or a luxury until something like that happens and suddenly they are so precious

great post, thanks for reminding us all!

[Wilt]

Forgive me for horning in but I just wanted to say that I like the sentiment being expressed here...

It's not just "family" events where capturing images may be of some emotional benefit at a later time. The flying community is litterally peppered with instances where a quickie "snap shot" taken at a pancake fly in or barbeque turns out to be the last image captured of a friend and fellow pilot.

Cherish the moments .. Live in the moments .. Hold on the memories

Yes, events do provide a prime opportunity for memories.

Yet, I think the point of the OP was (and I agree) that we are so busy documenting the marriage of the bride and groom that we forget the importance of all the other attendees (especially those from far away) as among the memories important to the bride and groom.

[FlyingPhotog]

Yes, events do provide a prime opportunity for memories.

Yet, I think the point of the OP was (and I agree) that we are so busy documenting the marriage of the bride and groom that we forget the importance of all the other attendees (especially those from far away) as among the memories important to the bride and groom.

Ah...

Then allow me apologize again for barging in. Very sorry... :oops:

[buffy777]

It's hard to remember on the day of the wedding, when your formals with the bride and groom are going to be rushed, that those family shots that are eating up time might be really important some day in the near future. Thanks for this excellent reminder.

[Michelle Brooks Photography]

These are all great reminders for us to go over as we prepare for shooting weddings and other events. Also another reason to never devalue what it is we do.

[MotoXPunk481]

Great post, TIm! You said that very well.

[drewandersonphoto]

Great post Tim, very touching reminder, and so so true!

-Megan-

[isophotostudio]

We had that experience with my Grandmother, the only photos we really had were from weddings. Since starting to photograph weddings I make it a point not to throw away the photos of the older couples, even if they aren't "the best".

At a wedding last month I had good success photographing all the guests. I placed myself outside the doors to the reception hall and had everyone coming in pause before they could enter the receiving line. Definitely something I'll be repeating, much better light than during the table rounds, and easy to keep track of. I was thinking about taking a nice picture of the bride and groom and using compositing software to recreate it using all the guests portraits.

[tim]

At a wedding last month I had good success photographing all the guests. I placed myself outside the doors to the reception hall and had everyone coming in pause before they could enter the receiving line. Definitely something I'll be repeating, much better light than during the table rounds, and easy to keep track of. I was thinking about taking a nice picture of the bride and groom and using compositing software to recreate it using all the guests portraits.

We're getting a bit off topic here... but I prefer to do guest portraits when they're at the table. ISO800, 1/60th, F5 (all plus or minus a stop), FEC+1, bounce flash with white card out, you get nice, well exposed simple images with the background showing some detail.

[PeaceFire]

So true and great post. I haven't experienced this yet but I'm in the process of applying as a volunteer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep after two friends lost their preemie babies in the past year... it's things like that that make you realize how important photography is to some families!

[hollyjack0142]

We're getting a bit off topic here... but I prefer to do guest portraits when they're at the table. ISO800, 1/60th, F5 (all plus or minus a stop), FEC+1, bounce flash with white card out, you get nice, well exposed simple images with the background showing some detail.


Hi, just to add to all of this, my best friend married 3 years ago in feb, and unfortunately as she was stepping out of dressing room in her dress for the first time, her father fell down the stairs and passed away from injuries, this was horrific, and a very bitter sweet day for my friend. She finally built up the courage only a few months ago, to ask the photographer if there were any photos of her father getting ready in the morning, unfortunately, there werent as all focus had been on gayle and the party helping her on the morning.

She often says to me, that it was the proudest day of her dads life, and unfortunately she has nothing to remind her of him on the morning of her wedding.

[isophotostudio]

Oh dear lord, that is the most heart wrenching story I've ever heard.

[Focused Moments]

Good post Tim.