She just doesn't like photography!!!

[skygod44]

This is no joke. I need advice...

You see, Missus Skygod simply has no idea about the utter joy that is photography.
She's a tiny Japanese lady, and I'd love to do a proper photo shoot with her, but she just thinks my dSLR is a "big boy's toy". :oops:

I need hints and tips to help her see how my time at the PC, and out developing technique is not a waste of a life.

She "contributed" to my new 50mm 1.4 this Christmas, so I thought I'd cracked it...but now, 7 days later, I'm hearing, "are you on POTN again?!?!?".

What can I do...?

[Mark]

This is no joke. I need advice...

You see, Missus Skygod simply has no idea about the utter joy that is photography.
She's a tiny Japanese lady, and I'd love to do a proper photo shoot with her, but she just thinks my dSLR is a "big boy's toy". :oops:

I need hints and tips to help her see how my time at the PC, and out developing technique is not a waste of a life.

She "contributed" to my new 50mm 1.4 this Christmas, so I thought I'd cracked it...but now, 7 days later, I'm hearing, "are you on POTN again?!?!?".

What can I do...?

Print and frame your best landscapes and give them to her as a pressie :D

[PhotosGuy]

"are you on POTN again?!?!?". Would you rather I was...
... in a bar?
... looking at porn?
... rubbing your feet? ;)

[JoYork]

It took me a long time to persuade my mum to use the internet. She just couldn't see what the point was, had no enthusiasm and when I sat her down she found using a mouse and clicking to be difficult.

What cracked it in the end was finding something she was really interested in and showing her that she could access it. She was heavily into Lord of the Rings at the time and once I showed her a few sites she was hooked!

It's possible you just aren't showing her the right photographs to unlock that part of her brain. What types of photos do you think she'd like to look at? Babies? Does she have a hobby?

Of course it's entirely possible she'll just never see the point of photography, in the same way I can't see the point in cricket :)

[sunbeast]

This is no joke. I need advice...

You see, Missus Skygod simply has no idea about the utter joy that is photography.
She's a tiny Japanese lady, and I'd love to do a proper photo shoot with her, but she just thinks my dSLR is a "big boy's toy". :oops:

I need hints and tips to help her see how my time at the PC, and out developing technique is not a waste of a life.

She "contributed" to my new 50mm 1.4 this Christmas, so I thought I'd cracked it...but now, 7 days later, I'm hearing, "are you on POTN again?!?!?".

What can I do...?

Oh, I don't know.......there may be some method to her supposed madness....

She's correct....it is a "big boy's toy (and girl's too)"

She did contribute to your delinquency with the 50.

Soooooooo....I figure she's just trying to get you away from all the bad influences on POTN trying to convince you to buy new gear! :D

Instead.....Praise her for the pics she took in Sydney (visited your blog), drop your 30D on her to take back to Sydney and buy yourself a new 5D MKII!!!!! :cool:

[cryforashadow]

Maybe you're spending too much time on POTN?

[powerslave]

^There's no such thing.

[sangria]

its hard to get people into the same things you are. it may be a lost cause, if you're too pushy it will just draw her away even more.

[joedlh]

Sell a photo. Give her half the money. Tell her, "This is from my toy."

Get published in a local newspaper.

Enter a contest and win.

[hard12find]

Sounds to me like she wants you to spend some time with her, without the camera, and computer...women are such jealous creatures....
Jim

[20droger]

Maybe you're spending too much time on POTN?

^There's no such thing.
Oh, yes there is. When you spend so much time on POTN that you have no time left to shoot, you're spending too much time here.

[EveryMilesAMemory]

As of me posting this comment, you only have 205 posts on POTN, so you're not spending too much time on here, unless you live on here and dont post anything?

What I did was get my wife into photography along with me. We would go out shooting, and I would let her use the camera till it got to the point that she got her own 30D body so we'd have to stop arguing over who got to take each shot.

Now she's into it just as much as I am. Not the Forums, but she understands what I'm doing.

You could explain it this way as I did. I can spend serious money on school where I go pay to learn all this knowledge, or sit here for a few hours per night (just like school would be) and learn it for free.

Just make sure you're improving and can show her how much better your pictures are becoming. That was also a deal breaker for me. When the first few pictures I printed for her got taken down because she said they didnt even compare to what we were taking now.

Then she had a few of her pictures chosen for magazines and a calendar and now she's in heaven!

Good Luck - Oh, make her your subject for a few photo shoots, then she gets to relish in your hobby!

[skygod44]

(Mostly) you guys are great!

Thanks for all the suggestions so far.

I did try to take some shots of Missus Skygod with my new nifty-fifty, and she was amazed at the smoothness of the bokeh.

But my wife is one of those people who is a natural genius at some things (languages is her main forte) but utterly crap at other things (eg reading a map and having any idea whatsoever how the darn thing works!!!) If she "can" do something, she loves it. When it takes effort, patience and a new skill, she can get very frustrated.

Being artistic and creative is something she needs to work at, so I think perhaps some of the issue is that I take pics, draw, paint, sculpt etc, with relative ease, while she can't....thus, "Grrrrrrrrr!!!!" at photography.

So....I think I'll keep at it, and try as many have said, to take it gently and try to encourage her to "try taking pictures", not just with her P&S, but with my 30D occasionally.

Thanks again, and thanks to Sunbeast for visiting my blog. It's just where I throw pictures for my family in the UK, but my wife's pictures of Sydney we're all (quickly but effectively) edited by me and she loved the results, so I'm guessing that's a way to get her more interested in why I'm on POTN learning.....
:D

[MattMoore]

Tell her its in her blood!

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Category:Japanese_photographers&until=Namikawa%2C+Banri

[Nouks]

As of me posting this comment, you only have 205 posts on POTN, so you're not spending too much time on here, unless you live on here and dont post anything?



Did you already notice that 205 posts have been done in only 5 weeks? ;)

[skygod44]

Did you already notice that 205 posts have been done in only 5 weeks? ;)

To keep you on topic (as I'm serious about needing help here) in the run up to the winter holidays, work was quiet, so rather than twiddling my thumbs, I'd been using the time to research which lens to get (mainly reading reviews on POTN, dpreview, etc) and reading/adding to various threads just "happened" at the same time.
I'm not a POTN addict! I ain't hooked!! I can give it up, man!!! :rolleyes:

[skygod44]

Tell her its in her blood!

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Category:Japanese_photographers&until=Namikawa%2C+Banri

Thanks for the link. Some amazing characters there....like Hoshino Michio, killed by a grizzly while photographing in Alaska. I wonder if he could see Russia and northern Japan from there... ;)

[20droger]

I'm not a POTN addict! I ain't hooked!! I can give it up, man!!! :rolleyes:
That's what my father used to say about smoking, he could quit any time. And, he HAS quit, dozens of times!

[Mark_Cohran]

Take up golf. After a couple of years of that, she'll be suggesting you go back to photography. :)

[EveryMilesAMemory]

I joke with my wife about the golf thing all the time

The other joke I just made to her was "Try and think of one of our friends (Couples we hang out with) that the male in the couple isnt into hunting?"

"Most of these guys have thousands of dollars in guns, ammo, scopes and the gear that goes along with this hobby. They all make numerous trips each year around the world to hunt, many returning with nothing to show for it. The good ones (Oxymoron I know) might come back with a skull or a pelt that then costs a few more thousand to have processed and mounted."

"Not one of these couples has ever brought their wife along on the hunt...Not once!"

She sat looking at me to which I replied, "Every single one of our vacations or expeditions has been traveling to exotic locations, coming home with beautiful pictures to show for it and having all our friends love the photos we give to them"

She understood what I was getting and and agreed, it's an expensive hobby, but she likes the perks that come with it:D

[400dabuser]

This is no joke. I need advice...

You see, Missus Skygod simply has no idea about the utter joy that is photography.
She's a tiny Japanese lady, and I'd love to do a proper photo shoot with her, but she just thinks my dSLR is a "big boy's toy". :oops:

I need hints and tips to help her see how my time at the PC, and out developing technique is not a waste of a life.

She "contributed" to my new 50mm 1.4 this Christmas, so I thought I'd cracked it...but now, 7 days later, I'm hearing, "are you on POTN again?!?!?".

What can I do...?


No offence here, but if your missus thinks that the 30d is a big boy's toy, then I would love to see what her thoughts, on here of course, on the Canon 1Ds is

[HappySnapper90]

You can't really get someone into something they don't want to do. It's like trying to get someone to like country music when they can't stand it, or trying to make someone love you when it just won't happen. It could be because you take a lot of photos of her and she doesn't like how she looks in photographs. Nothing you can do except try hypnosis. :D

[SuzyView]

I'm a Mom who has toys and camera equipment most would drool over, I get the same from my husband, "On your photography forum again?" Then, I became a moderator, so you can see, who wears the computer pants in the house. :) I solved that problem a few years ago, I got him his own computer about 15 feet from my workstation. He hasn't complained much since, because now he can play games whenever he wants to. But I do come on here more than an hour a day. I have actually met many POTN friends in the last 3 years and I can tell you, it's all been great fun and a lot of learning. When your wife sees your work improving, she'll understand, it's not just a hobby, it's an obsession. :)

[skygod44]

...it's not just a hobby, it's an obsession. :)

I wish that last sentence didn't have an accompanying soundtrack somewhat like the tolling sound of the bells of doom.

But I do appreciate the latest comments. Actually, we went out today and I took some pics of my wife out near our local volcano (Sakurajima, if anyone is interested) - some in bright sunlight, just like she would do, and then some under a palm tree with the softer lighting enhancing her features.

I could tell she was pleased with the effect and my knowledge to put her there.....

So, I'll keep at it, as I don't think it's a lost cause....I just think she needs to see some cash coming in from this "obsession" rather than following it's usual path and going out !!!!!!

[SuzyView]

Camera gear never loses value, as long as you use it all. :)

And it's great you got some good shots. From your gear list, I can see you've got some good stuff, so the next few purchases should be saved up for. :) I know all about that, as I'm saving for the 5DII and can't depend on my husband to help.

[skygod44]

Camera gear never loses value, as long as you use it all. :)
And it's great you got some good shots. From your gear list, I can see you've got some good stuff, so the next few purchases should be saved up for. :) I know all about that, as I'm saving for the 5DII and can't depend on my husband to help.

Thanks for the reply...

The 5DII, huh? I'm in two minds about that....I know it's a little off topic - but hey, it's my thread - and I feel so annoyed that Canon have left some nice little features off the MkII while adding some stupid gimmicky stuff such as video and 21 billion, billion, billion mega-tera pixels (slight exaggeration).
As an example many togs ranted and raved when I opened a thread asking why the 5DMkII only threw out 3.9fps, whereas the 50D-cropper is up at 6.3fps. They said things like, "it's all about timing...", or, "your technique is crap". But I like to shoot hawks, and they don't tend to pose for me, or even use the same section of air, so often, one "fly past" is all I'll get...and <4fps vesus 6+ fps makes a big difference! In sports or motor racing photography, the target area is quite small, so comparing that to my beautiful hawks is nonsense, and since my humble 30D can shoot at 5fps, I was initially confused why such a handy return-rate (I rarely shoot all 5 frames...it's just the timing of the two or three shots in 1/5 ~ 2/5s I love!) was lacking on the 5DMkII. Why would I want to lose a great feature and pay huge money for the priviledge?

Right, rant over....just hope the "60D" is a 1.3x, or the 5DMk3 takes less than a million years to come out, and they ditch the video and put in a faster mirror instead...

And no, I don't want a 1DMkIII as it's enormous and Missus Skygod would never understand the need!!!!! And yes, I know that many are happy with the 5DMkII, but many have commented that Canon missed the mark. If it'd got a faster return-rate, I would now being saving for it...instead, I'm thinking about a 50D, or just waiting even longer.

Camera manufacturers!!!! Grrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[816_Studios_Inc]

Any time I want to get a new piece of equipment, or want to spend more time and energy shooting, I take my wife diamond shopping ... it works out well for the both of us! :) Now if I could just figure out a way to start making money with photography.

Diamonds are friggin expensive.

[friz]

Like misses friz, misses skygod must have been gone the day in school when all of the girls were gathered together and warned never to date, muchless marry a "hobby guy". All other women avoided me like the plague until I met the misses. It is how we are wired and we can't be changed. You might remind her that this is a skill with value and if you get good enough it might pay back. I live off my first hobby, aviation, so misses friz gets the concept. Good luck.

[skygod44]

Like misses friz, misses skygod must have been gone the day in school when all of the girls were gathered together and warned never to date, muchless marry a "hobby guy". All other women avoided me like the plague until I met the misses. It is how we are wired and we can't be changed. You might remind her that this is a skill with value and if you get good enough it might pay back. I live off my first hobby, aviation, so misses friz gets the concept. Good luck.

Thanks for the input....we've actually just got back from a picnic and our daughter (aged 11) borrowed my ol' P&S, and really enjoyed it.
I think this could be another way to Missus Skygod's heart.........through double-hobbyists: I had a P&S, got bored, passed it to little 'un who is showing some talent.....I'll need to move to FF, so, I'll give the 30D to little 'un, get myself a 5DMkII or 1DMkIII/IV etc....
You never know, it could work.....

[Steve In Kentucky]

My wife had no interest till lately. We have a place on Kentucky Lake with a healthy winter time eagle population. She sees lots of photos of eagles and various other birds on POTN. Her question to me is why can't you get photos like that? I tell her I don't have enough reach with my lens. I go straight to BH website and show her the 400 F5.6 L and tell her this would really help. I got the green light to my surprise. So find some area of photography that interest her and get her on board!

[Mark]

Thanks for the input....we've actually just got back from a picnic and our daughter (aged 11) borrowed my ol' P&S, and really enjoyed it.
I think this could be another way to Missus Skygod's heart.........through double-hobbyists: I had a P&S, got bored, passed it to little 'un who is showing some talent.....I'll need to move to FF, so, I'll give the 30D to little 'un, get myself a 5DMkII or 1DMkIII/IV etc....
You never know, it could work.....

Or give your daughter a 5d2 as a present... Then get her to play along saying it is too big for her, and she prefers your 30d :lol:

[Yola]

LOL@ photoguy !

I think you should carfully approach the M. godess . Simply explain that you love taking pictures and that she is a beautiful subject .

Heck buy her a 1000.00 dollar necklace she will pose for you to show it off ...oh and earrings too match did I mention a ring as well .

Total cost = your gear !

[skygod44]

LOL@ photoguy !

I think you should carfully approach the M. godess . Simply explain that you love taking pictures and that she is a beautiful subject .

Heck buy her a 1000.00 dollar necklace she will pose for you to show it off ...oh and earrings too match did I mention a ring as well .

Total cost = your gear !

Well, for Christmas, as I mentioned, Mrs.Skygod contributed to my new 50mm f/1.4....and what did I get her? Two sets of earrings - one of rubies, one of pearls, plus other little nicknacks to make her feel more beautiful and pampered.

So I'm ahead of you on the "lets exchange gifts - for you, jewellery, for me camera gear" approach. I think it's working slowly - both a blessing and a curse!!!! - but I'll keep at it.

Meanwhile, thanks to all who understand that it is important to get our partners "on board" because photography is a rare and special pursuit.

Oh and last night on Japanese TV there was a documentary about an amazing photographer (uses a 5DMkII, btw) who "lives for" photographing Mount Fuji...and Missus Skygod watched it with me! Well, until she wanted a bath...

....little steps...little steps...little steps....

:D

[neilwood32]

My wife had no interest till lately. We have a place on Kentucky Lake with a healthy winter time eagle population. She sees lots of photos of eagles and various other birds on POTN. Her question to me is why can't you get photos like that? I tell her I don't have enough reach with my lens. I go straight to BH website and show her the 400 F5.6 L and tell her this would really help. I got the green light to my surprise. So find some area of photography that interest her and get her on board!

How the hell did you manage that????? You either have a very understanding other half or she is a godess!

Well, for Christmas, as I mentioned, Mrs.Skygod contributed to my new 50mm f/1.4....and what did I get her? Two sets of earrings - one of rubies, one of pearls, plus other little nicknacks to make her feel more beautiful and pampered.

So I'm ahead of you on the "lets exchange gifts - for you, jewellery, for me camera gear" approach. I think it's working slowly - both a blessing and a curse!!!! - but I'll keep at it.

Meanwhile, thanks to all who understand that it is important to get our partners "on board" because photography is a rare and special pursuit.

Oh and last night on Japanese TV there was a documentary about an amazing photographer (uses a 5DMkII, btw) who "lives for" photographing Mount Fuji...and Missus Skygod watched it with me! Well, until she wanted a bath...

....little steps...little steps...little steps....

:D

If thats what it takes then its worth it imho.

Let her see your photography develop and she might not understand it but she will learn to live with it! ( and thats good enough i reckon:p)

[brecklundin]

....Of course it's entirely possible she'll just never see the point of photography, in the same way I can't see the point in cricket :)....

FINALLY someone who admits it!! Baseball yes, Cricket...ummm...no....hehehehe...now, can anyone explain the whole "Queen" thing...

For the OP...mine only gave looking at my hobby with a "gee that is nice" kind of attitude. (and yes I am now buggered because she does read this board to see what I have been up to...sigh...eh, she can only get so mad at me and after that there is no more mad left in her) Actually, she was and is really supportive of it for me...but it was only these past couple months when turned loose with a 30D and on her won did she really begin to enjoy the effort vs. just focusing on the result.

Tonight I sent her a shot (she is up in the PNW visiting her dad right now) anyway I sent a shot which involved a fair amount of PP'ing...but it's sort of cool...she LOVED that and was really interested in how I did it...so, she is coming around. Perhaps this might be my way to manage a 5d MkII this year...or better yet a couple new lenses. ;)

So, keep after her but hope she thinks it's her idea...

[20droger]

All these problems would be solved if you guys would learn to apply a little salesmanship.

Salesmanship: the ability to tell someone to go to Hell, and have them think the trip was their idea.

[Steve In Kentucky]

[quote=neilwood32;7007560]How the hell did you manage that????? You either have a very understanding other half or she is a godess!



Both!!:lol:

[skygod44]

Baseball yes, Cricket...ummm...no....hehehehe...now, can anyone explain the whole "Queen" thing...

For the OP...mine only gave looking at my hobby with a "gee that is nice" kind of attitude. (and yes I am now buggered because she does read this board to see what I have been up to...sigh...eh, she can only get so mad at me and after that there is no more mad left in her) Actually, she was and is really supportive of it for me...but it was only these past couple months when turned loose with a 30D and on her own did she really begin to enjoy the effort vs. just focusing on the result.
;)

So, keep after her but hope she thinks it's her idea...

Ok now, I'm British, and I don't get cricket, either....but then, I don't get basball, football (American~, or the real one you guys call "soccer" ;)), tennis, or any other sport that I'm not actually doing. Watching sport, to me, seems as much value as watching TV dramas.

So, can't help you with the whole "Queen" thing...but...thanks so much for the comments on getting our wives (or husbands) to not HATE photography.

All these problems would be solved if you guys would learn to apply a little salesmanship.

Salesmanship: the ability to tell someone to go to Hell, and have them think the trip was their idea.

You've obviously never met my wife! Just try "selling" an idea to someone who can throw Japanese back at you, in 3 different dialects, at 400 syllables per millisecond, while you're trying to "sell" her the idea of buying a new car or an expensive white tube of glass that gets stuck on the end of a camera!

Seriously though, I used to be in sales in the UK....but so was my wife, in Japan, so that method is a big NO NO!!!!
:confused:

Think I'll stick with the "flattery", "gently-does-it", and "finding what she'd like to see in a photo" methods.

[Familiaphoto]

My wife always tolerated my photography. She never complained but I knew she didn't get it. Things changed this past August. We are adopting a little girl from Guatemala and while there in August I was taking many many photos. Well after we got home and I have her an 8x10 of the below she said to me that she is so happy I'm into "taking pictures" as the picture just captured the essence of this little girl we can't wait to bring home.

When I told her I pre-ordered the 5DII she commented it was a good thing as I can then take even more pictures of our daughter. I'm gold.

http://familiaphoto.zenfolio.com/img/v4/p54572996-4.jpg

[skygod44]

My wife always tolerated my photography. She never complained but I knew she didn't get it. Things changed this past August. We are adopting a little girl from Guatemala and while there in August I was taking many many photos. Well after we got home and I have her an 8x10 of the below she said to me that she is so happy I'm into "taking pictures" as the picture just captured the essence of this little girl we can't wait to bring home.

When I told her I pre-ordered the 5DII she commented it was a good thing as I can then take even more pictures of our daughter. I'm gold.

http://familiaphoto.zenfolio.com/img/v4/p54572996-4.jpg

Fantastic picture.....and you are, from now on, the Skygod's Official GOD!

What genius! And you're getting a 5DMkII out of it....brilliant!

Right....where's my daughter? "GET OVER HERE AND LOOK CUTE!!!!!"

[brecklundin]

Ya know...thinking about this thread in the odd hours of the morning something comes to mind...if she/he REALLY does not "get" photography or at least accept it...perhaps you can trade he/she for an "L" to be named later or a new body like say a 1D MkIV?

BTW, I also got to thinking it might not always be SHE who does not "get it"...it could just as easily be HE who does not "get it"...

[clarence223]

Maybe she doesn't like her post or maybe she want other place to take a picture

[skygod44]

Ya know...thinking about this thread in the odd hours of the morning something comes to mind...if she/he REALLY does not "get" photography or at least accept it...perhaps you can trade he/she for an "L" to be named later or a new body like say a 1D MkIV?

BTW, I also got to thinking it might not always be SHE who does not "get it"...it could just as easily be HE who does not "get it"...

I'm really quite touched that people around the world are considering my dilemma...and I have to report, that after last weekend's picnic, and seeing how enthusiastic our little 'un has become, Missus S. really is showing signs of softening.

Next weekend, it's our daughter's 1st-karate-practice-on-the-beach-demonstration, at which I'll be taking a lot of pics (R. knee is out, so I'm of of karate myself for the immediate future :(), and then on Monday coming, it's the "Coming of Age Ceremony" for an ex-student of Missus S....so I might land myself a double whammy in the next 6 days and show, once and for all, that being a pixel-peeping-lens-lugging-filter-fiddling-digi-a-holic ain't so bad, after all!!!

Keep all fingers crossed for me!