Weddings - Can you shoot my family?

[C.Steele]

Good lord. I did a wedding yesterday and I got approached 1000 times asking "If there is time later can you please get a shot of my family?" Not only that but after an 1 1/2 hrs of formals (I was ready to poke my eyes out) they still wanted MORE toward the end of the event. Just the grooms entire family, just the brides entire family, now just the siblings, now just the sibs and parents, on and on.

I'm all for customer service, and it's their day in the end, so I kept a positive attitude and a smile on my face and just kept saying "Absolutely, lets do it!"

My question is how do I get myself out of this trap? I hate doing formals anyway, but I know they are a necessary evil of doing wedding photography. But 1/4 of yesterday felt like a way too long Sears portrait session (but way better of course:cool:). File em in, shoot, file em out, next...

Anything you guys have learned along the way to make the formals short and sweet and have the couple be ok with it?

*edit* I have to add (after I read through this) I am happy to be a wedding photographer and I was thrilled to be there yesterday. Not really bitching as much as it sounds. I just think my time (that they paid for) could have been spent more productively, and more artistically, elsewhere.

Chris

[tim]

You have to arrange it before the wedding, ask for a list. Once you get the list ask them what they're going to do with each photo, and if they really need all those combinations. If they're not going on a wall or into an album there's not much point taking them.

[sando]

Personally, it falls down to re-education broached at the right time. It's no good turning up on the day with no idea how many formals they want, only to be presented with an hour and a halves worth.

I always talk about every aspect of the day with my B&G's about a month before the wedding (when it's not too late to change things).

The conversation normally turns to formals, and I let them know that as each formal takes 5 minutes to set-up then more than 6-7 can easily stretch to an hours worth of photos... normally then I broach the question of "Who are the formals actually for? You or your family?" Then we get talking about whether they even want formals in the labum design (most don't) so it turns out that the formals are there just for the sake of tradition and for their parents... then, they can either trim the list down to being:

Big Group Shot

One side of entire family

Other side of entire family

Closest family on one side (mum, dad, brothers, etc...)

Closest family on other side (mum, dad, brothers, etc...)

That way everything is covered - family and B&G are happy that it's covered.

You can also arrange for some formals to take place in the more relaxed setting of the morning, whilst preperation takes place... these are normally the nicest 'formal' photos.

[LBaldwin]

Get out of it? HUH? DOOD it's what you choose to do. I always use a shot list. And I stick with the shot list. BUT when these things crop up I just see $$$!! When you get these make sure that they understand that it is outside the wedding, will be posted to your website for sale in any print size they wish!!

This will do two things, make them commit to at least looking at your site and probably purchasing your work, AND/OR scare them off just in case they thought you were the village idiot and wanted a freebie just for showing up at the wedding!!

Turn a little extra work into a sale... sheesh.

[cdifoto]

I tell the bride and groom way ahead of time to make a complete list of every group they want and designate someone as the cattle rustler to get everyone together for each shot. That way it goes smoother and we get the most tedious part of the day over with quickly. It only takes about 30 seconds for each group when I have a list and a wrangler.

[C.Steele]

Tim, Sando, and CDI - Thanks for the tips. What you said makes sense and I'll go that route from now on.

LBaldwin - Not sure what all the double exclamations were about!! and the caps and sheesh at the end. I didn't mean to ruin your day with my question. The point (which you missed) was that this wasn't a "little" extra work that cropped up. This was a LOT of extra shooting that I felt trapped in to and was taking a LOT of my time away from what I felt I should be doing.

In all I would say 2 1/2 hours of formal stand there, shoot, ok next, type of shots. This is not something I want to be doing in my business. This is not the kind of photographer I want to be. Yet I got trapped in to it by not saying the right things before hand during the consultation and such. I was looking for ideas to use to limit or prevent this from happening again.

Thanks again guys
Chris

[SuzyView]

From experience, I tell the parents of the B&G that we do the whole family thing right after the ceremony and everyone needs to stay for 15 minutes and that's it. Close family stay for 1/2 hour and the B&G and bridal party for 1 hour. That way, I eliminate the "not too close" relatives and friends and they can go to the reception. The family this last weekend wasn't too big so I got all the portraits done in about 1 hour. If you tell them in advice, it helps.

[LBaldwin]

Tim, Sando, and CDI - Thanks for the tips. What you said makes sense and I'll go that route from now on.

LBaldwin - Not sure what all the double exclamations were about!! and the caps and sheesh at the end. I didn't mean to ruin your day with my question. The point (which you missed) was that this wasn't a "little" extra work that cropped up. This was a LOT of extra shooting that I felt trapped in to and was taking a LOT of my time away from what I felt I should be doing.

In all I would say 2 1/2 hours of formal stand there, shoot, ok next, type of shots. This is not something I want to be doing in my business. This is not the kind of photographer I want to be. Yet I got trapped in to it by not saying the right things before hand during the consultation and such. I was looking for ideas to use to limit or prevent this from happening again.

Thanks again guys
Chris

I didn't mean any offense!! lol I have had your sit before and turned it into more sales. Over 1k at one wedding, seems that there were several family members than had not been togeather for quite sometime.

So you use an assistant to help you keep on point for each type of shot?

Here is what I do,
1. I always use a shot list discussed with the B&G and have them sign off on the list as part of the contract. There will always be variences but that works best for me.
2. I always take at least one assistant to help schelp gear, wrangle family members, and man that all important list to make sure that we get what is on the list.
3. When I get requests for extra outside shots, I will try to make arrangements to cover that as best I can to help increase sales, but I would not allow it to interfer with the contracted work (and I am NOT saying that you did).

Sorry for the misunderstanding,

Cheers,

[c2thew]

That's a tough situation as i too have been in that same scenario. Sure you feel a little annoyed, but you are the photographer at the event. stress is part of the business and it's all about how you cope with it.

For the part about being creative: usually most photographers get their typical creative shots before the wedding actually starts. The rest is up to capturing the friends and family there. But yes, I probably would have handled the situation much like you did as saying no when I'm able to do the task, isn't my thing.

[Karl Johnston]

There's some kickass info in this thread, I had planned to do what the OP was doing for my first wedding. I've assisted in one before, but there was literally no format ..I've been reading on what a lot of you pro wedding photographers do to set up, and side from shooting I think that's where the bulk of the pains and trials of how to do a proper wedding shoot are.

[bnlearle]

I'm probably repeating others above me, but here's what I do...

When the bride, groom, and I all "interview" each other (hang out to see if we have fun), this is one of the few photography matters I talk about.

I let them know I don't need a schedule list of how the day will unfold, or anything - that all I need from them is a list of who they want in the photos and how they want them arranged. The second part is the most important. Just a list including everyone in the photos doesn't even come close. You have to have them choose who they want in what photo specifically. Or else on the wedding day it's "do we want one with me and my sisters? or with me, my sisters, and my brother?" etc. This is a terrible waste of the bride/groom's money, imo!

I also let them know that I believe the family formals are important historically, but I personally DON'T see artistic value in them - meaning i don't have an artistic approach to them. Some photographers do, they spend a ton of time doing crazy poses, but I don't have that up my sleeve. I line 'em up, shoot, and on to the next. I've never taken more than 10-15 minutes for family photos.

Now, I'm not AGAINST any of those shots (where you pose and have fun) - I just don't have that in my arsenal. Usually every other wedding, or so, has a fun bridal party/family that sort of says "can we do one where we all do something crazy?" and I say "yeah!" It's awesome fun, I like it, but I don't personally have a million different poses for group formals. There are AWESOME photographers that do - I'm just not them :)

It's all about making sure the client knows what they're getting. If they know, they often don't mind (I've never had anyone mind a bit). If they don't know, they can feel let down or duped a bit ;)