Long Exposure - Critic Please

[Zoso23]

shot this the other night and would love some critic, i will probly be heading back there soon so if you guys have any ideas on how to improve this shot i would love to hear them, fire away.

50D w/ Sigma 10-20mm @ 14mm
30 Sec.
f/7.1
ISO: 400

does it work?

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3269/3579914445_e911862797_b.jpg

thanks for looking.

[goldboughtrue]

I like the concept, although I'm not a fan of the debris on the ground. I would clone out the tiny bits of light in the top left to make it all dark. That's my opinion.

[photagraph]

Very cool how the door frame is illuminated and seems to almost frame the subject. I would if I were you eliminate the lighted part behind the subject it is somewhat distracting. Maybe you can use a snoot at direct some light into the subjects facial area or just make it so she is completely silhouetted. I think the debris adds to the aesthetic of the location so definitely keep that in there.

[400dabuser]

How you got the person to stand absolutely still for 30secs, wow, I can only imagine how it was done

[SAB_Click]

Out of curiosity, why the long exposure if you are using flash to light the shoot? Was it to capture some ambient as well as flash behind the person?

I too like the rubble but feel that a tighter crop to remove some of the dead space to the left. If you are going to re-shoot as you have suggested, then perhaps you could play around with a few variations with an aerosol in the hand or sitting on a BMX bike or something.

One last point, I think the lighting on the graffiti (camera right) is looking too bright and unnatural. Is there any way that you could position/gobo/modify the light to make it look like it's coming through a roof light or a window, perhaps kicking up a bit of dust to add to the atmosphere.

Just ideas.

[Zoso23]

thanks so much for the feedback everybody. very, very much appreciated.

goldboughtrue, i will definitly be messing around with some cloning and i will keep your thoughts in mind.

i was using 30 seconds because i had been walking around and doing some light painting with LEDs and torches in the frame, the graffitii is lit with a LED torch pointed at the wall. i used 30 seconds so i have time to walk around in the frame and try out some different light painting.

thanks again, these ideas and suggesting are exactly the type of feedback i was hoping to get. would still love to hear from anyone else.

[Stutterbug]

I like this picture a lot. only point I would agree with is the lit area behind the person.

[Sisyphus]

Quite dramatic. It does work, though leaves me wondering about the context. Nothing wrong with a bit of mystery, though.

[Zoso23]

thanks for that stutterbug and sisyphus.
i will definitly see if anything can be done about the lit area behind the person during the reshoot.