Any married fashion/model photographers??

[algee]

And I don't mean a photographer/model union. Just curious if there are - How do you do it?

I love gorgeous women. I love photography. But the wifey would NEVER ever....EVER...approve. My sole intention is about getting "the shot"....no really. But YES I enjoy the "whole" process....meeting, chatting and the like.

I've done a few shoots already of friends here and there, and posted the pics under anonymous flickr accounts. I'm thinking if I keep on this path, I'll eventually get busted.

Plus I don't like having to keep everything on the down low.

Could I articulate it to her in a way that would lead her to believe that this is my "art" and "passion", and that she shouldn't worry? Yes. But believing it is another story.

HELP!!!

[James Robert Gratiot]

This is one of those areas where you should probably put yourself in her shoes. If she was secretly taking pictures of hot male models (and not telling you about it)... would you believe one word of nonsense about "art" and "passion"?

And yes... eventually... you will get busted. And that ain't going to be pretty.

So it looks like you've got a choice to make.

[LoveLee]

i am the girlfriend of one of the photographers on here, and i use to get really jealous of all the time he spent with his camera. the cure was including me in the process.

he taught me about the camera, how to use it and the technical stuff. he showed me this forum so i can learn more and study the different genres of photography. im currently learning a bit about studio lighting. and lastly he takes me to his photoshoots so i can help style (i have an amateur background in make-up) and im pretty good with posing clients.

if my boyfriend hid anything from me, i would not take it lightly if it was something i didnt approve of and i caught him doing it anyway. so before your "passion" drives a wedge between your relationship find a way to fix it now.

[Karl Johnston]

Theres a great thread about this over in GN forum, in the discussion part.

[Gentleman Villain]

How do you do it?

Do you want the truth and nothing but the truth? Do you want the non-politically correct answer? LOL

You're going to hear lots of stories coming from people...but the only way to really know the outcome of the story is to wait 10 or 20 years. Why? Because women store things up....They may go along with something for awhile and you think everything is fine...she's cool...Then one day....BLAM it all comes out

The only way to know if something works or not is to give it the "test of time"

Many of the wives and girlfriends that are OK with this photographer/model relationship thing won't actually be OK with it in the long term. SOoner or later...something is gonna happen...and they're gonna trip out...and Kaboom...your Fked

What will make a wife/girlfriend trip out? WHO knows? IT could be something they see on Oprah...It could be something they read in a magazine. They might not like the way you smile when a certain model calls you on the phone. They may be feeling old and bloated one day? WHO knows? But one thing is 99% guaranteed....sooner or later the trip out is gonna come. NObody can predict what will start the trip out....we can only predict that it is going to occur with 99% certainty.

And when the wife/girlfriend finally does trip out...WATCH OUT....because they're gonna have a lot of ammo acummulated against you from all of those years of dealing the models. They're gonna remember all kinds of things that that a man would think is trivial but women will think is the end of the world.

It's true...there are a small portion of wives/girlfriends that can be OK with the model/photographer relationship...But there aren't many....And it's true that there has to be something in it for them. But what could possibly be in it for them? Think about it that really hard LOL What could be in it for them? Maybe you won't like the answer to that question LOL

Just having some fun...but I've seen a few guys lose their marriages over this....so there is a bit of real life experience behind these opinions.

[breathless]

Solution:
Make it your business.
Make tons of money.
Buy wife a Porche.
Shoot happily.

[craiglee]

Solution:
Make it your business.
Make tons of money.
Buy wife a Porche.
Shoot happily.

check
check
check
check

[lauderdalems]

What's more important here.
Spending 30-60 minutes of your life taking some models pictures for which you are not paid, OR
spending a life time with the woman you love.

[kencas]

OR,

like in my case you can introduce your wife to the joys of photography!

My wife is not technical (i.e. knows the A on the dial, but doesn't know how it actually works), but she is far more creative than I. So when it comes to model shoots I always get her to join in the shoot, ask her opinion of styles, angles, poses, backgrounds, etc, and then honestly listen and adopt a lot of what she suggests. As I am honest with her, she is helpful and supportive of me. So it means that I am learning creativity (something that I struggle with sometimes) whilst teaching her the techniques. It is honestly a win-win situation (and sorry for the cliche)...

But ultimately, if she were uncomfortable with what I was doing, I do know where I wish to be in 10 years time!

Ken.

[KAD]

I think your first mistake was sneaking around. It's not an If it's a When question to her finding out. You'd probably want it to come from you verses one of your models or their husbands, etc.

Just imagine the Neighborhood picnic-- Husband of model comes up and says what a great shot you took of his wife, to your wife. And how it looks almost life-size in there (insert room here). Maybe he even wants to know what she thought of it.....

You certainly won't score brownie points then.

[jblaschke]

I started getting interested in photography two years ago. I shot a few models, and The Wife--who has a photojournalism background--wasn't upset, but she was wary. I arranged for her to shoot one of my model friends, and that loosened her up a bit.

Fast forward a year. The Wife is now opening her own photo business, and tasked me with arranging a boudoir shoot for her portfolio. I booked the models, hotel room, etc. I assisted the entire time, adjusting lighting, lens selection, wardrobe and props. I managed a few shots of my own, but is wasn't until everything was over and we both collapsed on the hotel room sofa afterwards that we realized we'd been working with very attractive partially-nude and lingerie-clad all evening and hadn't actually noticed.

The resulting photos were sexy. The process that created them was anything but. If you're focused on the technical aspects of nailing the shot, there's not much room for distraction.

This is no longer an issue for me or The Wife.

[algee]

Solution:
Make it your business.
Make tons of money.
Buy wife a Porche.
Shoot happily.

And you know, this solution could possibly work. My wifey is all about the mighty dollar and toys..haha

[Agnu]

Deffinately one of the reasons that i'm a Landscape photographer haha.

[Alleh]

It's pretty clean cut, if she can't get past it and you really want to advance your photography you need to lose her. You can't have woman who doesn't trust you controlling what you can and can't shoot. You can make compromises but they need to be reasonable. You just need to decide what is more important.

[Alleh]

What's more important here.
Spending 30-60 minutes of your life taking some models pictures for which you are not paid, OR
spending a life time with the woman you love.

I have a hard time understand how someone can love you but not trust you at all. Now if you were bringing girls into your studio to shoot nudes behind her back because it got your rocks off that would be another thing.

[algee]

Do you want the truth and nothing but the truth? Do you want the non-politically correct answer? LOL

You're going to hear lots of stories coming from people...but the only way to really know the outcome of the story is to wait 10 or 20 years. Why? Because women store things up....They may go along with something for awhile and you think everything is fine...she's cool...Then one day....BLAM it all comes out

The only way to know if something works or not is to give it the "test of time"

Many of the wives and girlfriends that are OK with this photographer/model relationship thing won't actually be OK with it in the long term. SOoner or later...something is gonna happen...and they're gonna trip out...and Kaboom...your Fked

What will make a wife/girlfriend trip out? WHO knows? IT could be something they see on Oprah...It could be something they read in a magazine. They might not like the way you smile when a certain model calls you on the phone. They may be feeling old and bloated one day? WHO knows? But one thing is 99% guaranteed....sooner or later the trip out is gonna come. NObody can predict what will start the trip out....we can only predict that it is going to occur with 99% certainty.

And when the wife/girlfriend finally does trip out...WATCH OUT....because they're gonna have a lot of ammo acummulated against you from all of those years of dealing the models. They're gonna remember all kinds of things that that a man would think is trivial but women will think is the end of the world.

It's true...there are a small portion of wives/girlfriends that can be OK with the model/photographer relationship...But there aren't many....And it's true that there has to be something in it for them. But what could possibly be in it for them? Think about it that really hard LOL What could be in it for them? Maybe you won't like the answer to that question LOL

Just having some fun...but I've seen a few guys lose their marriages over this....so there is a bit of real life experience behind these opinions.

That is the truth! Thanks for sharing.

[algee]

I have a hard time understand how someone can love you but not trust you at all. Now if you were bringing girls into your studio to shoot nudes behind her back because it got your rocks off that would be another thing.

Alleh, I'm right there with you. The problem with your statement is *brace for backlash on this one* that it involves logic. Which, in my situation anyway, doesn't hold up well for most heated discussions : )

[algee]

Deffinately one of the reasons that i'm a Landscape photographer haha.

LOL

[n.e.photo]

Its possible someone already said this, but being that I am lazy right now I don't feel like reading through all of the posts :)

The biggest thing is trust, and that's a huge factor in my wife and I's marriage. I'm a 28 year old guy who's good looking and in good shape, not cocky just the way things are, and that in itself can create its own problems when you work with models.

The best thing I ever did, was I was completely honest about everything. I was just starting to get into photography when I met my now wife a few years ago, and I took it in all sorts of directions. She became my first model after we started dating, and being that she was my gf, became my model with benefits :)

The key to separating the connection I had with her when shooting and the completely different connection I have with other models when shooting was to have her there for a couple of the shoots assisting me.

We had never really talked about it before hand, and it wasn't anything I had to do to ease her mind, I just wanted to include her in every aspect of my photography. Now that I am a full time portrait shooter, when I need a break from it all to do a creative with a beautiful model, there's not even a bat of the eyelash. I come back with great photos, and she enjoys my photography.

The point I am trying to get across is that if you feel its something you have to hide and do behind your wife's back, its not that she has an incurable problem with it, its that you don't have the ability to show her your professional and make her a part of it.

Everyone has their own reasons for working with models, just make your reasons understandable to your wife, and include her in your efforts to create great photography.

[shaggymatt]

I took care of it for you. I emailed this thread to her. Don't worry about it, she's cool with it! :cool:

In all seriousness, you have to break it to her. Let her in on the shoot! I actually got lucky in my situation. She is a teacher, her aide's daughter was getting married and asked me to do some surprise pictures for her to be husband before the wedding. So she has seen the pictures, and there were of course always plenty of other women to attest to the fact that there was no hanky panky. Pictures are tasteful, and now I just get more of, "Why didn't you take any of me when I was pregnant?" Because you wouldn't let me. :rolleyes:

[kevindar]

If you are doing model photography as a hobby, there is a voyeuristic component to it. Not that there is anything wrong with it (esp when you are single). Your wife may have insecurities. I think the suggestions that some have made, may help decrease the insecurities, but from my 40 years of life experience, people are who they are, and hard to change. Even if she begrudgingly consents to it, it will weaken your relationship and can cause you a lot of head ache later.
If its a huge issue with her, you have to decide how important it is to you, and how much you are willing to risk, b/c I doubt that she will ever truly be ok with it.
You can move on, and find your "artistic outlet" in other areas of photography. Why do you have her be your model? Nothing wrong with that, unless you are doing commercial work.
Just saying.....

[hollis_f]

Switch to shooting male models?

[Jadam]

I wouldn't put up with a wife who didn't trust me. That just sounds like a lousy relationship... assuming my intentions are legit that is.

So if you are truly shooting it for the 'art' then fine. But if there is a particular voyeur pleasure you get out of it then you can't complain when she complains. It really is as simple as that.

[cdifoto]

The obvious problem women have is thinking that you'll run off with one of your models. The obvious SOLUTION is to look at the wife or girlfriend and say, "Don't worry honey, I wouldn't be with you in the first place if I could actually get one of those girls."

[algee]

I took care of it for you. I emailed this thread to her. Don't worry about it, she's cool with it! :cool:



haha....I thought for a millisecond that you may have : )


Thanks for the advice!

[algee]

"getting her involved"...."making her part of the process".....that ain't gonna help ease anything. If anything, seeing the hot chicks I'm working with will just make her more insecure.

I'm happy (and envious) for you guys that have been able to lock down a chick who understands and is willing to let you do what you do. My wife is a headcase when it comes to other chicks....everything else is not a problem; 18 holes with the boys, catch a ballgame with the boys, etc..

Guess I'm doing landscapes after all : (

[jcw122]

Not communicating in your relationship with your wife is a great step towards divorce. You shouldn't be uncomfortable asking her what she thinks about the idea.

[n.e.photo]

"getting her involved"...."making her part of the process".....that ain't gonna help ease anything. If anything, seeing the hot chicks I'm working with will just make her more insecure.(

Your original request was asking those of us who do photograph models how we have made it not a problem with our wives, pretty much all of us have said get your wife involved and making her a part of it, and if you don't want to is fine, but it just draws into question why not?

Her seeing you work with these "hot chicks" which I would probably start referring to as models for the sake of your argument should be a huge help for a few reasons:

1) She can see you're not a creep, providing you're not a creep, and that you have a genuine interest in working with the human form to create something beautiful, whatever that may be.

2) That you are (hopefully) working with professional models who also have zero interest in stepping into bed with you, and that they are after the same goal as you, beautiful photos.

Basically once your wife can see that this is a working relationship, in the fact that you and the model are working towards something, and that you're not sitting around drooling over some model like an idiot while you two playfully flirt back and forth with each other, it should help a lot.

If you're worried at all about whether or not you could be perceived in any other light than professional when working with models, get out of the game now, cause you're just giving everyone else a bad name. And seeing as how that shouldn't be the case, involving your wife will be a good thing.

[waple]

Get your wife involved. On one of my first few nude shoots the model wanted to be covered in candy (http://www.m3afterhours.com/glamour/default.htm) so my wife spread chocolate icing on the models breasts to give the candy something to adhere to.

Or, at least invite her to a shoot, let her help with the lighting or the hair. let her see, first-hand, what goes on.

Have your wife help you sort through the photos from a session and pick the ones she likes. Show her what you think makes one photo better or worse than another.

My wife fully supports it and 8 of my last 10 shoots have been full nude (the models, not me).

If your wife would be envious of the hot chicks, do a shoot or two with someone that's not hot. Show her how you can take a regular woman and make her beautiful.

[davidfig]

+1 get your wife involved.

Go read about Peter Gowland. Famous playboy photographer. His assistant is named Alice..........Alice Gowland.

[harroz]

yup +1 here too. My wife is my stylist, simply because she's the best I know at it!