Real Life NIGHTMARE ! (long ugly story)

[Raj]

What mess I led myself & my poor wife into :evil:

A old collegue of mine (acutally my ex-boss) who worked with me few years back & now lives in another country called me last week & asked if he can stay at my place during his visit to tokyo (Mon-Fri) Out of good faith I said yes & he arrived yesterday evening. My wife also thought since he dosent have many friends here we should help him although we both wondered why he cant stay in hotel ...

You wont imagine what my wife had to go thru' :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: , this guy demanded dinner at 10:30 & then a tea, then another tea, enjoying his time, then how to use my laptop, then almost demanding a spare home key, then sweetest one - asked me for my international calling card so that he can call his fiencee in Sydney !Interestingly she is japanese & her parents live in tokyo but he is not staying at there !

This morning I called guy at my home & he had already opened my refredige & cupboards to help himself for his breakfast & asked if we will be having dinner at home tonight. It was enough for me >:( >:( >:( So I told him politely that instead of Friday I will be able to host him only till Thursday as my in-laws plan to come over. Man, he kept on insisting I should ask my in-laws to come later, its short notice for him to find another friend & blah blah blah. I tried to keep as calm as possible. Cmon man he is not that poor not to be able to afford one night hotel rent.

I agreed he can stay initially but I just cant tolerate his behavior, no manners, courtesy, no respect at all. Just want him out ASAP >:( >:(

Sorry to post this but I really wanted to let this out of me. I have to take my wife out for some nice dinner tonight. Poor soul, she is very upset & shocked but still not holding me responsible.....

I learnt my lesson the hard way :evil:

[Skip Souza]

Raj, you are very patient, as is your wife. I would have thrown him out the window. Of course, living on the ground floor it would not have the desired effect. ;-)
Anything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

[Raj]

Skip, beleive me we agreed to allow him to stay in all good faith & basically would have taken care of him as is expected. Its just that the way he is acting is making us very uncomfortable. Neither me or my wife have seen anything like this before so even in our most wierd imagination, we wouldnt have this situation.

>> Anything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger

This is humerous ;) I am just on 4th floor, so it may actually help him get stronger LOL !

[FlyingPete]

Raj, you are very patient, as is your wife. I would have thrown him out the window. Of course, living on the ground floor it would not have the desired effect. ;-)
Anything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Yeah that kinda stinks, had some bad experiences with guests, but not that bad!

Chalk it up to a character building experience.

[Carzee]

Relax, it'll be over soon and then you NEVER EVER see him again.

Get a glass and drink up...
http://www.stratsplace.com/labels/au_97_rosemount_estate-chard.jpg

[Raj]

[QUOTE=Carzee]Relax, it'll be over soon and then you NEVER EVER see him again.
QUOTE]

Thats for sure !! damn sure. In the whole scenerio, i feel very embarassed & sorry for my wife. I should have judged that guy better. May be this what they say - experience comes with age ?

BTW I love Chardonny ;)

[Redbird_xo]

Sounds like your ex-boss must have lived in Japan for a while and got too comfortable with the social hierarchy thing - company above individual, man above woman, etc. Unfortunately, you said yes to him earlier. Fortunately, he will be out of your door and hopefully your life in a few days.

[Raj]

Sounds like your ex-boss must have lived in Japan for a while and got too comfortable with the social hierarchy thing - company above individual, man above woman, etc. Unfortunately, you said yes to him earlier. Fortunately, he will be out of your door and hopefully your life in a few days.

Well may be you are right, but this kind of mentality is usually in core Japanese companies/individuals & this guy is from Scotland. He did spent ~10 years in Japan though so I cant really say.
I really dont understand, he is like this on purpose or he is just illmannered & ignorant.

[poke]

You can always accidently spill the whole bottle of chilli into his dinner while your making it :D

[sixshot]

Can't you tell him how you feel. If his response is rude, kick him out there and then.

[Raj]

You can always accidently spill the whole bottle of chilli into his dinner while your making it :D
;)

[FlyingPete]

Can't you tell him how you feel. If his response is rude, kick him out there and then.

Actually this reminds me of something quite liberating when worrying about offending people, remember other peoples feelings are not your responsiblity.

Anyway, he has offended you already!

[FlyingPete]

You can always accidently spill the whole bottle of chilli into his dinner while your making it :D

Or wasabi :lol:

[Raj]

Can't you tell him how you feel. If his response is rude, kick him out there and then.

sixshot, we are just trying to be as poilte & reasonable as we can as he is guest at the moment. I know we shuldnt even take ourselves responsible for him & do as you said straight away. If it comes to it then may be I will have to do it ....

[Raj]

Actually this reminds me of something quite liberating when worrying about offending people, remember other peoples feelings are not your responsiblity.

Anyway, he has offended you already!
Very true. Thanks Pete.

[sixshot]

Just don't cook dinner. Say its his turn?

[Raj]

Fortunately me & my wife are eating out tonight & have another appointment tomorrow evening, so no cooking anymore I guess :-)

That is assuming he really leaves on Thursday :rolleyes:

[Andy_T]

Bloo dog,

you always manage to completely crack me up :D

If you ever write a book (you should!), let us know!

Best regards,
Andy

[sixshot]

Great story Boo Dog.

[Fer]

OMG how impolite!!!!! Tell him to leave ASAP!

[Raj]

Raj,

Apologies for hijacking the thread.

My point is that when you see that sort of thing coming, you have to JUST SAY NO. Expect the worst outcome and you'll never be disappointed in your fellow man.

That guy would've been out on his ear in a minute if he moved in with me and asked for a key.

No problem BlooDog :-)
Seems like your story is more wierd than mine ;)

[JAZZ D.P.G.]

Raj,

It is time to kick this a##hole out!

this is a time when good old north american "I'm not putting up with this s$$$" attitude is fully justified.

You have done the good thing, by trying to help, and you have been royally abused, and your wife twice as much.

Speak firmly and tell him he is a boar and to leave. And don't worry about how he handles the rest of his trip, the gutter is too good for him!

I don't think this guy deserves anything less than a swift kick on the way out.

Geez, these morons really need to be abused back.

Sorry for the rant, but this kind of stuff really annoys me.

[Skip Souza]

house guests, like fish, begin to stink after three days and should be thrown out! ;-)

[Belmondo]

When we moved to the desert a few years ago, we had a guest bedroom, and it was always available for friends whenever they were in town,

Until

one individual started showing up on a regular basis and making himself at home at times that weren't always convenient for us. Then, he started dictating menus, taking himself out to dinner when he didn't like what we were serving, never paying when we went out to dinner together, borrowing our car, and insisting on a glass of Cognac every night at bedtime. After a few of these visits, we started eliminating amenities. The first thing to go was the guest bedroom. We bought a small sofa bed, and put it in the office. We turned the guest room into a den/study/computer room. It wasn't too bad for him because the office still has its own bathroom. Then, when he still kept coming, we put the cat's litter box in the bath tub and served leftover turkey at every meal. I stopped giving him our good car and made him drive the old Jeep with the broken air conditioner. That didn't discourage him either; it turns out he loves turkey and doesn’t mind the heat. The final straw was when I told him we were out of cognac and he'd have to drink a Corona beer to help him get to sleep.

We haven't seen him since.

This is essentially a true story, inaccurate only in the omission of even further facts. BTW, this guy is a well-known attorney in Northern California, and has more money than he will ever be able to spend in a dozen lifetimes.

[FlyingPete]

Yep when we moved into our current place we had great dreams of being a great guest spot, had a room set aside, nice Queen size bed, furniture etc, even a laptop with a wireless connection!

Got over that real quick, it’s now the work room, as the wee wiggler has taken our old work room and we had some ‘interesting’ quest experiences. All and all we did meet some interesting people though, had to get our locks changed a couple of times too though.

We do have someone living downstairs, but they pay, so its not quite the same.

[lostdoggy]

Order in ask him for his share and be serious about it. Say it nonchalantly.

[Raj]

Jazz, I can really get your emotions as I have felt the same over last two days. Honestly speaking I never imagined myself to have this strong negative feeling for anyone, so i am discovering new dimensions in myself :)

Tom & Peter, the most sad part of this kind of experiences seem to the unwanted & unfortunate change in our own thinking. We start with a good heart & faith, get abused & unwillingly have to give up some good part of us. Honestly speaking, we are looking for a new home & guest room is (or atleast was) one of the essentials in all our searches...

BTW Tom, your attorney friend wont be so rich if he was not saving money by staying & using urs/others amenities ! Nice way to accumulate some wealth - cut down the essential living cost ;) LOL

[Andy_T]

Raj,

think about it that way

... you will be over it next week and have learned something important (albeit the hard way)

... he will continue to be an a$$hole with few friends and (most likely) a poor life.

I'd rather be in your place :D

Best regards,
Andy

[Raj]

Raj,

think about it that way

... you will be over it next week and have learned something important (albeit the hard way)

... he will continue to be an a$$hole with few friends and (most likely) a poor life.

I'd rather be in your place :D

Best regards,
Andy

Now thats the bright sunny side of it :-)
Thanks Andy !

[neil_r]

we put the cat's litter box in the bath tub and served leftover turkey at every meal. I stopped giving him our good car and made him drive the old Jeep with the broken air conditioner.

:(:( I was going to ask to stay with you on my next visit across the pond :(

N ;)

[Maureen Souza]

:(:( I was going to ask to stay with you on my next visit across the pond :(
N ;)

Ahhh Neil, you never cease to make me laugh!:D

Raj: Sorry about your experience but you have come out a wiser man for it. Just be thankful that you are not like him and that you have much more couth than he does!;)

My guest room is only for invited guests.... and I do the inviting:lol:

[Raj]

Raj: Sorry about your experience but you have come out a wiser man for it.
My guest room is only for invited guests.... and I do the inviting:lol:

Maureen, trust me, I have learnt my lessons :-) & very quite confident this will not happen again.

[sixshot]

I don't have a spare room, maybe this makes life easier!! Maybe consider downsizing!

[roanjohn]

BLOO!!!! Too funny~~~!!!!!

RAJ - YIKES!!! There is nothing worst than impolite house guests!!! Especially ones you are not related to!!!! SOrry to hear this............I would kick him out too!!!

Ro1

[Citizensmith]

Well PotN has members everywhere. Just give us his address and we'll send someone round to egg and TP his house, let the air out his tires and such. That way he'll have a nice welcome when he get home. We'll just graffitti "Nik0N Rulez" on his driveway so nobody figures out its us.

[Andy_T]

Bloo dog ...

I am actually a vegetarian (well, sort of :D )
Mind if I stay at your place the next time I'm in the vicinity ... uhh ... some days :wink:
I promise I won't use your camera gear too much...

Best regards,
Andy

[cfcRebel]

Wow Raj, i tot i've seen/heard about worst guests in the past, but your ex-boss tops it. I'm really sorry to hear you and your wife have to put up with this. Was he like that, or did his behavior give u any hint when you two worked together? I know some bad guest is born like that, but some acts that way intentionally.
Anyways, hope he won't stay until Friday. By all means, get rid of him asap. Enough is enough.

Fee

[Raj]

Its finally over.
We are too tired to celebrate but just wanted to let you guys know, my unwanted guest has unwillingly departed after harassing us in every possible way since Monday.

Thanks a lot for listening to me. Sometimes just venting out helps a lot.

Thanks for all you help & support.

Cheers
- Raj

[Andy_T]

Way to go, Raj :D

Now it's nearly weekend and you will get over it soon!

Best regards,
Andy

[froman98]

I hate rude guests. Some rude guests come in the form of former colleagues and some come in the form of in-laws.

When my wife (now ex-wife) was pregnant w/ my child, her mom came to visit for a few weeks and happen to come a week before my child was born. She did not like me from the get go since we lived together for a short time prior to our marriage (she was very traditional and religious). It probably didn't help too that her daughter didn't keep in great contact with them and the first time she meets her son-in-law was when her daughter was ready to have a kid. Either way, she shows up at 2am and knocks at our door unannounced. She took a late flight in (from Spokane, WA to Salt Lake City, UT) and wanted a place to stay. She demanded to my wife that I sleep on the couch and they share the bed. The next morning, she wakes up as I'm getting ready for work and knocks on the bathroom door as I'm washing up and getting ready for work. I end up getting kicked out of the bathroom so she can use it. As she's in the bathroom, she's yelling through the door telling me to let her take me to work so she can borrow my car for the day and would pick me up after... which was fine. 10 minutes before I ususally left I get a phone call saying that they can't pick me up because she locked the keys in my car with the engine running. To me, it all seems a bit much for the first time you meet your mother in law.

Later that night, I politely asked her how long she was going to stay. She wasn't sure as she flown in on a one-way ticket. She wanted to be there to help out with her first granddaughter and figured we would want her around for a few weeks.

A week after the child was born, I decided to buy her a plane ticket to go home and cab fare to get to the airport. I couldn't stand her constant criticism of the artwork I had displayed around my house (i'm a huge salvador dali fan) because she found some of the paintings offensive and my coffee table books (Bettina Rheims and Mona Kuhn) down right crude. I also felt pretty invaded. Before my daughter was born, I spent a few nights at the pub just to avoid her.

I must say that I really believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[markubig]

my unwanted guest has unwillingly departednow i have to know what happened Raj ??? ???

Did ya kick him in the nars? http://www.photography-on-the.net/forum/images/smilies/tongue3.gifhttp://www.photography-on-the.net/forum/images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gifhttp://www.photography-on-the.net/forum/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif

.

[froman98]

You should send him a thank you card. Have something in there that says

"We really enjoyed your visit and were very happy to have you as our guest. We look forward to never seeing you again. We hope you enjoyed your stay."

Maybe he'll read past the "never" and take it as polite or something.

[Raj]

mark, if only I could do that !
no i didnt do that. we (Kaori & me) just kept eating outside, spending very little time at home & insisting that our relatives are coming so he has to make alternate arrangements. He didnt get it I think, nevertheless he left.

froman, I am sorry to hear your experince :-( guess I am not alone.
I think you are correct when you said
>> Maybe he'll read past the "never" and take it as polite or something.
as when he left he tahnked me & said " oh yeah, I may come back to tokyo again for renewing my xxxx" !