Covert Purchases or I am EVIL!

[Dante King]

Hey all. I dont know if you can appreciate this or not. I have a great method of skirting the wifes approval for purchases. Now she does not watch my camera bag, which is good. She does watch the accounts, which makes it hard to funnel off any funds. I might post my method on laundrying funds form the spouse in a separate post. This one has to do with concealing purchases in the wide open,

Quite sipmly, when I purchase from BH photo, I fill out their gift card. NO not as a gift sent to me, but from canon service. Title line is form Canon Repair Service. Body of the gift card explains the repair etc, offical, etc blah blah.

I purchased a kenko 1.4 TC and had it shipped to my home addy for today as the wife works. Well SURPRISE, she decided to come home and work at the house. CRAP! Well UPS delivered today, I was out with the kids shopping and she received the parcel. She would have been hopping mad if she had not gotten the canon repair invoice (AKA, gift card). SAVED! works like a charm.

I know this is sneaky, underhanded etc. But these purchases do not hurt us financially or in any other maner, it just keeps the peace as she has no hobby, well maybe except for nagging on me! LOL


Are any of you in the same boat or am I just a disgusting human being?

[EricKonieczny]

You are Brilliant :eek: can you buy me a a tripod, ballhead, and remote?

I promise it won't hurt you financially, and your wife will never know. :confused:

[cdhender]

This is seriously the funniest thing I've read in weeks :lol:

[tim]

Hilarious! Sounds like you need to have a conversation with her and talk your "hobby" through.

[pcasciola]

Are any of you in the same boat or am I just a disgusting human being?Right next to you, bud. ;)

[Vetteography]

You sly dog!

[dsze]

....very funny. Also, a bit disturbing I guess. Why not just tell her? Is she so terribly mean to you that if you said something like, "honey, this is very important to me for shooting such and such types of photos that I am very interested in. This costs alot, but we aren't going to starve or lose the house," that she would still tell you "no." Just my opinion. Honesty always pays off in my experience. ...still a very funny read though! :)

-daniel

[ddelallata]

That's why I'm not getting married any time soon. I don't wan't to put up with anyone's BS about what I can and can't buy. My photography hobby and modified sports car is where most of my money goes to.

[Keiffer]

Do you go to sleep at night dreaming this stuff up LOL You are a true mans man Dante LOL

[MTalley]

I went down to the county courthouse and bought a business license for my photography business. $6.25 later, and I have an excuse to buy equipment. A few bucks at Office Depot and you can have stationary and business cards, too. Heck, maybe even make some money taking photos.

:)

Still, I covertly got my new Sandisk Ultra II CF cards into my camera bag this evening. At least they're small enough to slip into a pocket before coming in the door. Plus, they were delivered to work.

[cfcRebel]

Dante, y're da man! :D Genius plan! Now, only if it also works with eBay purchase! :twisted:

[mrclark321]

Dante Dante Dante...hope she doesnt check out this forum or
there will be a dog house added to your equipment list....lol
Keep it up...you da man!!!

Dan

[kram]

Definitely ranks as the funniest read for the dayhttp://www.photography-on-the.net/forum/images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif.

I have often allowed the 'dark side' to conjure up these plans but guess its not powerful enough in me. With just one lens, any extra equipment cannot be brushed under the carpet - esp. when you are lusting after a rather bulky (magnificent looking) 70-200L lens.

[BigRed450]

I know this is sneaky, underhanded etc. But these purchases do not hurt us financially or in any other maner, it just keeps the peace as she has no hobby, well maybe except for nagging on me! LOL

Are any of you in the same boat ?

LOL .. SAME BOAT? Man I'm on the other oar! I have to keep trying to find my wife a hobby so she can't complain about mine. Even though photography pays for all my photo gear and then some, she still nags like the money came out of her own pocket.. After 23 years of marriage and now that our children are all grow up I thought she would let up, NOT! Just different excuses. Dante, you are destined to go through the rest of your life with her like this... Find her a hobby to take her mind off your hobby.

[hauff]

Excellent dante. I bow down to you. My method is slightly different, but like you it never endangers the house or the groceries. I own my own business and supply engineering consulting services to the oil and gas industry in Canada for over twenty five years. I think I do this for the "danger factor" more than to fool my wife. It's like a game to me. I frequently ask my wife to get me a couple of hundred bucks from the bank for walking around money, gas, lunch, smokes, fishing bait, etc. When I get it I'll filter usually $50-75 bucks into the envelope in my gun safe thats kept under lock and key. Then when some shiny object strikes my fancy it just appears in the collection of trinkets and is never noticed. It is however a little embaraasing when you get caught. Kinda like being spanked on the bare bum when you were a little kid.

[Croasdail]

I feel your pain, I have learned the fine art of stealth buying. My wife is a teacher and will be off for the summer soon. It will be a couple of months before the UPS man gets to visit my house again.

[JK]

Dante, you *do* know that your wife reads this forum, don't you ? :)

[Az2Africa]

My wife gave me the old "hobby or marriage" ultimatum 5 years ago. I don't know what she is doing these days. Besides, the L lenses are more fun and far less expensive than she was anyway. I'll think about her for a few seconds and smile just before I board the plane to Kenya in October. HeHe

[Dante King]

LOL to all you guys. She just does not have a hobby herself. She is a very frugal lady. To frugal IMHO. Its ok for her to spend 300 bucks on a hair cut/color job, but forget spending on my hobby. I hope every one understands that I love her very much. Its just that some things are best left unsaid to keep marital bliss.

[mrclark321]

Out of sight , out of mind!!

[Rob612]

Definitely a funny reading. I suppose we all have to handle some of these situations. Personally, I do not have the problem but sometimes I do prefer to keep some purchases smuggled, at least for a while. She usually finds out VERY quickly, so it does not work. But the only complain I get is usually something like "did you really needed that ?". OTOH, for the same old reasons of mutual respect, we talk about any major purchase. We are a DINK (Double Income No Kids) couple so its rarely a matter of money, but always a matter of how we handle our marriage.

[TWM]

Great scheme! I've been married for 44 years and we have argued about my spending habits most of the time. The problem is she doesn't have a hobby and doesn't understand mine. I've had to sneak purchases into the house in many devious ways. I feel badly about it, but not as bad as not having the new lens, hard drive, DVD writer etc. Lately though I've noticed that she gives up much sooner and doesn't say much about what I buy. I guess the answer is to be married at least 40 years. Let's see some more photos with that Kenko 1.4, I know I'm going to want one.

[Andy_T]

Dante, you are evil!

But, then, most of us are, as well :rolleyes:

Best regards,
Andy

PS: Thanks for the tip. Might be valuable one day :twisted:

[shiato storm]

your wife gets angry at you buying stuff? tell me, does she like to buy lots of clothes and shoes? my point being we all have our indescressions and its not like its going to break the bank. My g/f fully supported me when I bought 2 'L' glasses :) now thats quality!

[Muzz]

Memo to self:

Dont get married Muzz.

;)

[blue_max]

All goes well until she askes you what went wrong with a teleconverter - they we will see you sweat! Or why do you keep buying Canon when it is always in for repair.

I do agree that it is best not to arm the enemy!!!

Graham

[Toogy]

I did what another poster did here, I started a photography business, so any extra money I make goes back into the "business".

[shiato storm]

now that is a good move...

[Rob612]

I did what another poster did here, I started a photography business, so any extra money I make goes back into the "business".

Despite the fact that I do not have the problem, I am trying to do the same, at least partially, trough an online (serious) agency. In this way I do not have to worry about customers and I just let the agency work for me. I only sell licensed images, so no .20/download el cheapo stuff. Prices are fair and the % they take is honest. But at the end of the story it turns down to business :D

About the agency, I will start another thread as soon as I have time.

[lost]

Aww Crap looks like every piece of equipment I own just broke. Looks like I need to go to B&H for Canon Repairs!!! LOL

Seriously though I got the bug for a 20D a couple months back. I couldnt get it out of my head and we didnt have the money. I decided I would find a way. I took a hard look at all my "toys" and started listing on ebay. All the time my wifes getting more and more upset with me. I cant figure her out. I pretty much sold all the crap I accumulated over the last 10 years and got enough money. I think at one point when I was walking past our 9month old son my wife quickly picked him up. I looked at her kinda funny and she actually said to me "You have been ebaying everything that is not nailed down, but I want to keep our son." Come to find out she was just upset that I was selling my DRebel for 150 dollars less than we paid for it.

[Todd Jacobsen]

....very funny. Also, a bit disturbing I guess. Why not just tell her? Is she so terribly mean to you that if you said something like, "honey, this is very important to me for shooting such and such types of photos that I am very interested in. This costs alot, but we aren't going to starve or lose the house," that she would still tell you "no." Just my opinion. Honesty always pays off in my experience. ...still a very funny read though! :)

-daniel

You're not married are you?!

Logic is not always in the married equation - confrontation avoidance is!!

[dsze]

I guess I just don't get it. How fun is your "hobby" really if you have to lie to your spouse about it? I mean maybe it would be better to just tell her what you want and why you want it. Look at it this way; you're not at the pub every night drinking away the money, you're not at strip clubs tucking away the money, you're not buying drugs with the money, YOU'RE BUYING CAMERA GEAR! You're wanting to spend you're money on something entirely healthy and beneficial to the family in many ways. Why taint that with decieving your wives? Maybe I'm just lucky enough to have a wife who knows that I'd never endanger the family with my purchases and trusts me to spend my own money. Come on! Quite honestly, its a little embarrassing to think that some people might be coming to this forum for the first time reading this thread and thinking that we are a bunch of addicts... ok, ok. we are. But we're addicted to something pretty healthy, relatively speaking. I would think that most wives would acknowledge that and cut you guys a little slack.

-daniel

[mdm]

You know what? I like the way you think!

[lkorell]

We all sympathize. It's hard to get anyone, especially a spouse to understand the need for gear. There are five ways I can see to deal with it:


Sneak it in (doesn't work if she manages the books!)

Start a seperate bank account just for your stuff (just did it, makes more sense tax wise anyway)

Take the heat and enjoy looking at your gear while you are sleeping on the couch (least preferable)

Just say "honey, when you can figure out another way to get that kind of bokeh....."


Heck, just make her your second shooter and buy her a better camera than yours!
;)

[mvonditter]

Excellent dante. I bow down to you. My method is slightly different, but like you it never endangers the house or the groceries. I own my own business and supply engineering consulting services to the oil and gas industry in Canada for over twenty five years. I think I do this for the "danger factor" more than to fool my wife. It's like a game to me. I frequently ask my wife to get me a couple of hundred bucks from the bank for walking around money, gas, lunch, smokes, fishing bait, etc. When I get it I'll filter usually $50-75 bucks into the envelope in my gun safe thats kept under lock and key. Then when some shiny object strikes my fancy it just appears in the collection of trinkets and is never noticed. It is however a little embaraasing when you get caught. Kinda like being spanked on the bare bum when you were a little kid.

Gun safe?! I thought you can't have those nasty, nasty things up there. The guns, not the safe.:lol:

[mvonditter]

LOL to all you guys. She just does not have a hobby herself. She is a very frugal lady. To frugal IMHO. Its ok for her to spend 300 bucks on a hair cut/color job, but forget spending on my hobby. I hope every one understands that I love her very much. Its just that some things are best left unsaid to keep marital bliss.

Amen!!:)

[Andy_T]

My wife recently made a big fuss about a replacement 30$ M42 adapter I bought on eBay ... because she deems I have ENOUGH camera gear by now ... doesn't matter how cheap it is, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. :rolleyes:

I still love her, but need some good arguments, as I am nowhere near what I consider enough ... not even a single L lens yet :confused:

Best regards,
Andy

[steibeldj]

I really can't agree with ya'll. Here is what my Dad used to do. He would say he wanted something and it cost $xyz. He would then say he would save for the next x weeks for it. Since he saved over time, it turned out to be a reasonable amount per week, my Mom never really had a complaint. If a brithday of Fathers day was coming up we gave him money to add to his savings.

Now I am the dad and I can tell you that the $1200 lens is always in reach 6 months later and I haven't hidden a thing. All I have to do is have some patience!

Ok, so I did blow a couple grand at B&H and got my hand slapped like the rest of you. Nice bit of philosophy though huh?

[Blue Deuce]

Easier to beg for forgiveness then to ask permission.

[roanjohn]

TOO FUNNY!!!

...........you sneaky dog!!!!

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

:-)

rO1

[Dante King]

I guess I just don't get it. How fun is your "hobby" really if you have to lie to your spouse about it? I mean maybe it would be better to just tell her what you want and why you want it. Look at it this way; you're not at the pub every night drinking away the money, you're not at strip clubs tucking away the money, you're not buying drugs with the money, YOU'RE BUYING CAMERA GEAR! You're wanting to spend you're money on something entirely healthy and beneficial to the family in many ways. Why taint that with decieving your wives? Maybe I'm just lucky enough to have a wife who knows that I'd never endanger the family with my purchases and trusts me to spend my own money. Come on! Quite honestly, its a little embarrassing to think that some people might be coming to this forum for the first time reading this thread and thinking that we are a bunch of addicts... ok, ok. we are. But we're addicted to something pretty healthy, relatively speaking. I would think that most wives would acknowledge that and cut you guys a little slack.

-daniel

so how long have you been single? Actually my wife wants to add onto our house. she thinks my spending $200 is taking away form her dreams! I can see her point, I dont agree at all, but I can see her reasoning, regardless of how unlogical and faulted it is. She wont bend, so I have to get a bit creative.

[dsze]

Thats what I'm saying. Keep it within reason, save over time, and be upfront about costs, and remember to put it into perspective...its an investment fun, not a throw-away fun.... what woman could possibly argue with an honest, upfront, enthusiastic husband like that? :)

-daniel

[Dante King]

Thats what I'm saying. Keep it within reason, save over time, and be upfront about costs, and remember to put it into perspective...its an investment fun, not a throw-away fun.... what woman could possibly argue with an honest, upfront, enthusiastic husband like that? :)

-daniel

LMFAO! Now I know you are single! Thanks for the best laugh I have received of these boards in some time!

[CoolToolGuy]

I have a side business that covers the gear dollars, but there is always the 'Don't you have enough camera gear?' thing.

I have a suggestion - if you are able, Work is a wonderful place to have things shipped to, and it makes a good storage place when necessary. . .

Have Fun,

[BlueTit]

Thankfully as I am single I don't have these worries (another reason noted for staying single) but a friend does, his way of dealing with it is to reduce the price he says he paid, so when he came home with a 70-200/2.8 IS he said it was €200 as I was with him he had warned me he maight say something like this and I was not to drop him in it, but when I heard him say so calmly that the lens he paid €1999 for was $200 I nearly choked on my coffee and it took all my time to keep a straight face.

He still got a bit of grief, but she got over it. I don't think she would ever recover if she found out how much he really spends. I just hope see never gets into photography and starts shopping, she would be in for a very big surprise and he would be in for an even bigger one.

[dsze]

Actually, Dante I've been married for almost 7 years. No, it hasn't been that long compared to others here, but it has been 7 years. We are both professionals and work full time and have 2 beautiful daughters. I'm very happily married. At any rate, I'm glad I gave you a good laugh, but I am serious. Maybe I'll get a good chuckle next time I order a piece of kit AND get to tell my wife how excited I am to recieve it. Maybe I"LL be laughing when I actually get to talk to my wife about photography and enjoy it.... or get to talk to my wife about anything for that matter. ...mayber you're laughter will die down the next time you have to sneak some equipment in the house and pretend you've sent it in for repair, or when she inevitably catches on. LOL>>>>...:) Of course, I'm half kidding Dante. I wish you no harm whatsoever. Camera gear is just as important to me as it is to you....I don't blame you a bit. In my house, it is not as important as honesty however; thats all I'm saying. ...pretty hilarious huh? :)

-daniel

[Dante King]

yes it is.

[Seamless]

I know this is sneaky, underhanded etc. But these purchases do not hurt us financially or in any other maner, it just keeps the peace as she has no hobby, well maybe except for nagging on me! LOL

Your wife's onto your scheme. You have figured out from the monthly invoices by now, right, that you're not really receiving "lawn care" services three times a week? ;)

[Dante King]

no its pool care for our plastic kiddie pool!

[mrclark321]

Dante...how do you like your 50mm 1.4. Time to think of new toys for down the road...

Dan

[Rob612]

Gun safe?! I thought you can't have those nasty, nasty things up there. The guns, not the safe.:lol:

Whats wrong with guns ? A lot of people here seems to have them, including myself. Its just a personal feeling but I believe that a lot of people involved in photograpy are also involves somehow in guns.

Anyway, a gun safe, if you have any space left, is good for keeping the gear while you are out of the house :D

[Ray.Petri]

Hi all

I don't have such a problem. Although my wife doesn't really take pictures, she knows I am never satisfied when I have tried to cut costs a bit - so, when she sees me looking up magazines and websites she always says "Are you sure that is going to be good enough, don't you think you should get the better one?" It is only then I can make a sensibly balanced decission and go for what I really want and not what I would like but will never use.

Best of luck
Ray

20D (Wow!)
17-55 Kit (Quite good)
70-200mm F4L (Out of this world)
28-70mm Macro Zoom Superb)
60mm EFS Macro - (This week subject to delivery - can't wait)
Angle Finder
Remote
Flash
Etc: Etc:

[MAD DOG]

I think I must be a VERY LUCKY man.
If I want something, and we can afford it, my wife gives me no grief.
That's probably because she knows I won't prevent her buying something she wants either.
Seems to work well for us.

That a side DANTE, your methods whilst being somewhat sculdugerous are rather ingenious!

Should your beloved, however, should take the time to read this thread then I would assure her that I for one in no way condone such underhand imorale behaviour............LOL

[Dante King]

I think I must be a VERY LUCKY man.
If I want something, and we can afford it, my wife gives me no grief.
That's probably because she knows I won't prevent her buying something she wants either.
Seems to work well for us.

That a side DANTE, your methods whilst being somewhat sculdugerous are rather ingenious!

Should your beloved, however, should take the time to read this thread then I would assure her that I for one in no way condone such underhand imorale behaviour............LOL

Love the disclaimer.

[Dante King]

Dante...how do you like your 50mm 1.4. Time to think of new toys for down the road...

Dan


Dano,

Yeah I love my 50 1.4. It is bettter than my old 50 1.8 in build and it has usm.

[scr7b]

Great thread... Totally genius method too!

My better half always fails to notice I've bought a new toy, and I always think it's the Female equivalent of us failing to notice new shoes or new hair!

[Chazs]

I DO need to try that. My wife knows I REALLY want the 70-200, but instead bought the 50mm 1.4 first, and threw the box in the garage. She spots it and says, "You finally got the lens." I says, "The 70-200 won't fit in that itty bitty box, that's the one that came with the camera." Not sure if she bought that line or not. I must try your method. Keep up the good work Sinsay Dante (sp?).

[zacker]

LOL WAY TO FUNNY AND AWFULLY BRILLIANT I MUST SAY. i JUST BUY IT ON MY CHECK CARD AND HAVE T SHIPPED TO MY WORK. MY WIFE DONT CHECK my CHECKING ACCOUNTS BUT (dam caps loc) ...she gets 'upset" if she thinks im spending too much on this hobby if im not getting paid to take photos.. BUT>>> when she wants something like a dishwasher or new washing machine (the old one still works fine but one door hinge is busted so she thinks the whole thing is shot!) She will spend the $$$ like no there's no tomorrow. I work, i need to have fun and i realize that these appliances can help make life easier for the both of us but..... i dont think there are many Maytag or GE forums out there that are as fun as this one
-zacker-

[Dante King]

LOL Chazs!

FYI Update: I came clean a day ago. She was not thrilled. It all came about when she went to move my cam backpack for vaccuuming. LOL DAmn this thing is heavy for 2 lenses and a cam. Err Honey....sit down.... She is used to my expensive hobbies, doesnt like them but she knows I dont chase women, drink etc. Oh my hobbies are Restaurants, 1/4 scale R/C Airplanes and tah dah...Photography.

[BlueTit]

Well you were able to writte that so you must have got off lightly. Hope you feel better now :-)

[ed2day]

I bet you didn't come clean about the bogus repair cards! Save that one for another time.

[Dante King]

everything...

[felix21685]

speaking of 1/4 scale what planes do you have ? edge ,extra? something else?

[GTogs]

My wife didn't say much about all the purchases I made over the last 8 months until I bought the 20d! I decided that I would come clean and let her know that I did buy it.

She was aware that I wanted to upgrade the camera, but when confronted with the fact, things became very frosty for a couple of days! A little time and a lot of therapeutic shopping with our daughter and thawed the ice considerably!

Might slow down on buying things for now, but I still want that 100 - 400L!

[poogpost]

This is plain stupid! Come on how old are you guys? Tell the wife and be done with it get a backbone. I just bought a lens that was over $3000 and not a peep from the wife. Don't get me wrong with a major purchase like that I will discuss it with her but I am not looking for approval. I work hard for my money and will spend it as I damn well please.

My 2 cents
John

[TheObiJuan]

I am in the same boat. Mine doesn't know that I have 5 lenses. They all look the same to her. She thinks my speedlight it the 'kit' flash, as I might have 'mentioned it'. I think I actually might have said, it should be the kit flash. ;)

I dunno how I can hide a 70-200 f/2.8 from her though.

[poogpost]

A marriage built on lies, I don't know maybe it's just me.

[Sicily1918]

This is plain stupid! Come on how old are you guys? Tell the wife and be done with it get a backbone. I just bought a lens that was over $3000 and not a peep from the wife. Don't get me wrong with a major purchase like that I will discuss it with her but I am not looking for approval. I work hard for my money and will spend it as I damn well please.

My 2 cents
JohnI agree w/your feelings on the matter, but some women are just very frugal or not used to having (and therefore spending) a certain level of money. My GF freaks out when I tell her how much I spend on my toys, but it's mainly because she doesn't make nearly the amount of $$$ that I do so she sees my purchases through her income lens (no pun intended). I've started to steer her away from that line of thinking, though, as my purchases don't even take me to a living-paycheck-to-paycheck situation, to say nothing of not being able to afford it.

The one thing I try to do is keep things in context -- if she wants to redecorate or otherwise pretty up the house (putting in a new roof doesn't count, as that's a necessity), then she's gotta give when a new gray lens makes its way into the house. After all, remodeling is something she wants (not needs) -- the whole "we both benefit from this" mentality has got to go, as your benefiting is incidental and an excuse for her to get her way. It may sound selfless, but it's not -- not by a long shot -- although it may be difficult to convince her of that.

[TheObiJuan]

A marriage built on lies, I don't know maybe it's just me.

How many wifes go off and purchase dresses, handbags, or shoes without prior consent or even admit their purchases to their husbands?

[Dante King]

speaking of 1/4 scale what planes do you have ? edge ,extra? something else?


I have a ME109G and a Areobatic called a "Choice Cut"

[skade]

Hmmm lucky for me my fiances hobby is more expensive than mine ( R/C petrol cars). And he usually buys me what ever I want, so we really have no reason to hide anything from each other. I know my aunty buys alot of clothes tho, without her husband knowing. She puts them away for a few weeks, then when she wears it, she says "oh that old thing, Ive had that for ages honey". Some very funny reading there Dante King!