So your 1st cousin is getting married...

[Mrsjperry]

and she submits an inquiry on line to your website requesting you shoot the wedding.

What do you do:

a) Charge for your services
b) Charge but at a family discount
c) Family & money don't mix, do it as a wedding gift
d) Refer him/her to another photograher

[RT McAllister]

Why would you treat her differently if she went through your normal booking channels? That should tell you she's not expecting any special treatment.

Just for this I'd do something for her because having a relative act like a regular full paying client is unheard of. :D

[tim]

I don't work for family or friends, i've found it causes problems and you don't get to enjoy the wedding day. If you wouldn't have been invited anyway maybe it's different, but still, family and money never mix.

[The Mack]

I told my cousin a few months ago that I would rather attend the wedding as a guest and be able to enjoy the day with family and friends rather then having to work - it was a good way to say that I don't want to deal with her or her mother.

It would take $5000 for me to shoot her wedding, and based on her questions, I know that's not an option.

So, D.

[Dennis_Hammer]

D also and I have had to choose D three times in the last four years. The Aunts and Uncles are usually more upset than the cousins because they were expecting cheap cheap or freebies.

[Josef Geisler]

Family, friends, and money don't mix. You always have problems, Either its the don't like the pictures, or the price is to high. Just my 2 cents.
Joe

[Karl Johnston]

Shoot it at my reg. rate, I know mine aren't dense or unfair.
Can't speak for anyone but...if you have your doubts you shouldn't do anything you're uncomfy with.

[Mrsjperry]

Thanks, for a sec I almost felt embarrassed:oops: for wanting to decline. But I honestly feel that family, business and money just don't mix well at all.

[suecassidy]

run while you still have legs, and make no apologies for it. Tell them it is your long standing policy to not mix business with pleasure and refer them to someone else, but DONT make the mistake of taking on the job for any amount of money. You can either work a wedding, or you can attend one, but you can't do both successfully. I'm always amused at family members that imply that you could give your photography as a wedding gift...like you'd actually be spending that much on a gift for them. sheesh.

[5x5 photography]

My second cousin talked to me about shooting her wedding.
I am not a wedding photographer by any means so I referred he to someone but offered to bring my camera to get shots the wedding photographer may be to busy to get (such as the brides parents during the vow reciting).

[Mrsjperry]

I'm free!!!! That was close.....stood my ground and referred to someone else

[sando]

I don't work for family or friends, i've found it causes problems and you don't get to enjoy the wedding day. If you wouldn't have been invited anyway maybe it's different, but still, family and money never mix.This.

[111t]

I don't see anything wrong with doing it as a gift if you feel so inclined. I would never charge a lower rate for family. It would be free. It's a good point about you having to work while everyone else is having a party. They probably don't look at it that way. You also don't want to get into a situation where you do it for 1 and there are 12 more waiting in the wings. It could go full time.

It sounds like you don't want to do the job. That's fine too.

There can always be drama when family is involved. Especially on a wedding day.

just my $.02

[charger912]

Personally, I would charge to shoot the wedding but at a discounted price. I know that everybody and their mom says to either charge full price, do it for free or don't do at all, but I don't necessarily agree. There are a lot of entrepreneurs in my family. Do they charge when they do work for me? You bet they do! It's still a business and should be treated as such.

As for people saying to do it for free, I would offer to if I was very close to the bride or groom. However, if that was the case, I'd probably be in the wedding anyway so I couldn't be the photographer if I wanted to!

[jblaschke]

The Wife and I have done C twice, but it's a judgment call depending on the wedding party. The first one we gave as a gift on our own, because we knew they had no money for even a reception, much less photography, and they'd have no shots at all otherwise, beyond P&S stuff. The second, we really didn't want to shoot, but they finally talked us into it. I was very, very concerned it would turn into a train wreck, but just the opposite happened. We got shots we know no other photog would've gotten, simply because of our familiarity with the couple.

The aftermath: The first couple likes their photos and are happy with them, but we're pretty sure they don't think of us as anything more than "relatives with nice cameras" and don't understand how huge a gift it was, or what they'd pay if they had to hire someone to do the same. The second couple have not stopped singing our praises since the wedding. Their in-laws have tried to pay us since the final package "was so much more than they were expecting." We refused, of course. A gift is a gift. But then they showered us with outrageous gifts at Christmas, and given us several enthusiastic referrals.

Also, being in an "official" capacity as photographer put me in a position--and with the perceived authority--to put out several brush fires before they grew into full-fledged blazes. Had I not been shooting, I'd have had to go in for cleanup duty after the fact, so that was a bonus for me.

I'm still wary of shooting relatives' weddings on principal, but the two we've done thus far have worked out OK. Every case is unique. Use your best judgment.

[ScullenCrossBones]

If I don't feel like doing it for free, then I'm "booked". I don't charge friends or relatives.

[Motab]

I'm always amused at family members that imply that you could give your photography as a wedding gift...like you'd actually be spending that much on a gift for them. sheesh.

Hah! You know, I never actually thought about it that way, but you're right!

[jstrattonphotography]

I don't work for family or friends, i've found it causes problems and you don't get to enjoy the wedding day. If you wouldn't have been invited anyway maybe it's different, but still, family and money never mix.

I am learning this the hard way. My partner and I are doing the photography for my BFF for free. NOW she wants us there even earlier and it is 3 hours away. So my husband and daughter get to piddle around trying to entertain themselves for even longer. We have to PAY to get into the venue, AND she has now decided she doesnt want her pictures used in my portfolio. I will NEVER work for close family or friends again free of charge. It will be contracted and paid like all other weddings I shoot.

[111t]

I am learning this the hard way. My partner and I are doing the photography for my BFF for free. NOW she wants us there even earlier and it is 3 hours away. So my husband and daughter get to piddle around trying to entertain themselves for even longer. We have to PAY to get into the venue, AND she has now decided she doesnt want her pictures used in my portfolio.* I will NEVER work for close family or friends again free of charge. It will be contracted and paid like all other weddings I shoot.
Woah that sucks. Sounds like the pressure is on...your friendship...

*What's the story there? She agreed and then she un-agreed? or she never agreed in the first place. That's the point where i go all Lando Calrissian on her and start shooting the storm troopers.

[themadman]

C

My best friend's mom is getting re-married and they weren't gonna have a photographer, I wasn't going to be invited anyways. But since my friend knows I am into photography, I agreed to shoot the event for free. They aren't expecting much on the other hand, it is very non traditional, pretty much a party without a formal ceremony or anything. I am still gonna enjoy myself a bit but no drinking since I am driving both my wife and my friend and his two brothers, lol.

[AmberTillman]

this is one of those tricky situations that has more to do with the photographer and the people involved. And I say people because it is never just the B&G. For those of you that stand your ground and have your policy, your life is a lot simpler. Some will have great experiences with shooting for family and friends as mentioned.

If you do get into it, be prepared for changes in the relationship, but hope for the best.

Regarding the BFF that says you can't use them in your portfolio and they want you there 3 hours early...
That person probably wouldn't be my BFF anymore. I would explain to them very nicely, either I shoot for free and use the pics in my portfolio, or you pay me. That is unfair. And you have to be there all day. And you have to drive 3 hours away... stand your ground and tell em to... (fill in the blank)
that is crazy!!!!! next thing you know they will be askin for your first born!

I did my first wedding for family and friends and it turned out fine. But we let them know exactly what we would from jump. No surprises. :)

[Butch Cassidy]

What is the old saying ?

"People can only take advantage of you, as long as you let them do it"