Photojournalistic pics for a local competition

[philodelphi]

These should be "pictures that tell a story". Critiques appreciated.
http://www.davidbalick.com/Other/Just-nice-photog/pjInspection5611/774130927_ttMMw-XL.jpghttp://www.davidbalick.com/Other/Just-nice-photog/pjCongaLine6095/774130896_QTnS2-XL.jpg

[Smialette]

I think the 1st picture does a great job of "telling a story" and adds a great element of humor. The second picture just seems like a normal scene from a wedding or some sort of get together. I definitely prefer the first one =)

[vk2gwk]

In both photo's - nice ones sharp and a lot of detail - it is not immediately clear what we are looking at. I'll make a guess and then you can tell whether your photo is telling enough.

#1 is a parade of fire fighters that all got a sort of commendation. won a prize or something.

#2 is the after party where people got a nice meal and the kids had good fun.

[crashthenet44]

#1 So why are the firefighting folks lined up? Seems like a major piece of the story that's missing. As a technical aside, what's going on with the blown out pavement running up the middle of the image? Looks almost looks like some dodging gone wrong.

#2 Ok it's a party and the kids are dancing. We've all been to these types of things. I don't see what makes this shot compelling.

[philodelphi]

The 1st one is a contest and their fire truck is being judged. I just love the kid in that one.
You're right on on the 2nd one.

[philodelphi]

crashthenet44, good catch on the blown out pavement!! I have no idea why that photo's like that. I shall investigate and repost. As for the 2nd, I think my club will like it... they're not professional photographers who have been to 100's of such affairs.

[mckinleypics]

As an ex-Navy man, the first one tells a story of a poor kid that forgot his hat and jacket and has to form up feeling like an idiot. The fact that he is looking at the camera and not standing at attention is classic because he has had such a bad day that he doesn't care anymore.

[philodelphi]

As an ex-Navy man, the first one tells a story of a poor kid that forgot his hat and jacket and has to form up feeling like an idiot. The fact that he is looking at the camera and not standing at attention is classic because he has had such a bad day that he doesn't care anymore.

Lol, that's awesome!

[Flo]

Are those firefighters way in the BG? Man, they are pretty large fellas..thats the first thing I saw when I scrolled....

I like the second better actually, but the composition ruins it, the first one needed a little more composure as well.

[philodelphi]

I like the second better actually, but the composition ruins it, the first one needed a little more composure as well.

Feel free to make any edits you deem beneficial... I'd love to see a different take on it!

[advaitin]

As an old news shooter, I'd have to say that few of my editors would have been happy with number 1 or 2 unless it was part of a package of pix, three to five, that would make a feature. As stand-alones none of them have that extra special ingredient--a spark of something. What one comment pointed out, the difference between the boy without a jacket and the others, but the angle needs to be different, including the emphasis. Just my opinion.

[Flo]

Feel free to make any edits you deem beneficial... I'd love to see a different take on it!

Impossible for me.too much editing to be worth it, just me though. I agree with Ad....

[philodelphi]

Thanks to all that critiqued... neither photograph ended up with honors.

[mckinleypics]

I think the story from the first one should have involved those two cops in the background. Wonder what they looked like before they became partners and started eating lunch together. They are almost exactly the same size!

[PixelPusher]

+1 on the two cops or firefighters in the background of the fist pic. That is what catches my eye for some reason. Wondering if they could climb a ladder or chase a bad guy.