Shooting a funeral, need advice

[Wreck96]

Mods- not sure of this is right place, move it as you see fit, thanks.

I'm a police officer and have been asked by my department to shoot the funeral Friday this week of a co-worker (and friend) who was killed in the line of duty on Easter Sunday. Emotionally, this will be a difficult thing to do, but after long talks with lots of friends at work, we all agree its the right thing to do for his family; they'll be in a fog that day for sure and his 1 yr old and three unborn triplets will be able one day look back and see how we honored their father. It lets me give something back.

That said, can anyone give advice on shots to take, not take, etiquette, anything along those lines? I'm an experienced shooter but never attempted anything like this. Thanks.
-Cory

[TAPFD]

Cory:

My first post here... have been lurking for months. My most sincere sympathy to all involved. I am a funeral director and the most useful advise I can give is to speak with the funeral director in charge of the service.

Explain what you are doing and I am sure he/she will afford you every courtesy and offer some unique vantage points and access to capture some emotive and meaningful photos. I have on occasion allowed photographers behind "the scene" opportunities for some creative shots.

Be aware that these type of funerals are VERY stressful for the funeral director and an unexpected photographer blended into all that is going on can be a huge pain in the butt. However if you approach them and explain all you wish to accomplish they should work with you. I would be certain that they would even work with you to help create a memorial video for the family (funeralone.com has a great down loadable software program to create these videos). The funeral director would most certainly appreciate copies of some photos for their marketing and website use.

PM me if I can offer any tips or suggestions. In the meantime as I can offer no real photography tips I am back to reading my manual for my Rebel xsi....

My most sincere condolences,

Thomas A. Poolton
Funeral Director

[MrsKitty]

Godspeed, Officer. May you rest in peace.

[halitime]

Sorry to hear of your loss.I shot my friends service (He had two) in the town where he lived which is very remote.The main reason for this was because his parents were elderly and couldn't travel.I took shots of the speakers and people at the register but I also spent time before the service shooting
places and people that were important to my friend so his family could see a part of his life that they maybe didn't know about.His family then posted some of these on the Facebook page that was set up in his memory.If you can get a 70-200 2.8 for the service it will allow you to keep your distance and
maybe get by with no flash.

[radloser]

I am a police officer in the Cleveland area and have thought about doing this at the annual memorial ceremony downtown. It's really a tough thing and I really hope you post your experience afterwards. We recently had two in the line of duty deaths here and it's always a sad event. For every cop's funeral I've been at there's always a photographer so don't feel weird about it. Talking to the funeral director is a good idea I never thought of. The person I would definitley talk to though is the widow. Especially being pregnant with triplets you wouldn't want to cause her any further stress. I'd ask her what shots she would feel were "wanted" and "not wanted" furthermore make sure she's ok with a photographer being there. Screw your department, the families wishes are more important than your agencies wants. If the widow is not comfortable with it I wouldn't even bring a camera. The 70-200 idea is a great one too. I have one and love mine!

[ShotByTom]

That's a very difficult thing to do. I am also a police officer and photographer, but I could not photograph another officers funeral. I have experienced two line of duty deaths in recent years that I was close to, and the funerals were far too emotional. I'm sure it will be covered in the media and I would save papers and record news shows, but I couldn't photograph it. That's just me.

My brother officers have been there for my highest highs and lowest lows, we do what we can for each other. I would not have wanted my picture taken at an officers funeral and my 2 cents would be to suggest that you not take photos of the officers who will be emotional.

My 4 year old daughter died last year and it was the most painful day of my life. The funeral was beautiful, but I didn't want photos and I still don't want to see any. The media was there and recorded the service and the procession, but I can't bring myself to watch it. I don't know how my 8 year old daughter would feel about seeing pictures and the video, but we've never discussed it.

It's hard to say how kids, especially the triplets that never got to know him, will react to it. It's a horrible thing to have to figure out. My heart goes out to you and your department, and especially his family.

[thebishopp]

I am an ex-officer and current P.I. and photographer. First off sympathies and condolences to the family, comrades, and friends.

I believe the OP will be taking photos to provide the 'option' should the family wish to have something to remember the service and how much he was respected and loved by them and his co-workers/friends.

While some may not understand and perhaps I may not be phrasing this correctly but an honor is being paid to this fallen individual. That is what a funeral service is. A gathering of the person's loved ones, comrades, friends, associates, etc. to pay tribute to the life of that individual as well as to mourn their passing.

One day it may be a comfort to see the people who cared so deeply for their father who they never really got to know. A small comfort but one which may bring a sense of pride to see how he was honored in the end for his service.

However, whether it is or is not, it would be much more tragic for the family to NOT have the option to do so should no tasteful photos be taken.

Now that my opinion on why such photos should be taken is out of the way, on to what type of photos:

I would suggest, in no particular order and I am assuming ceremonies and proceedings based on the few military and leo funerals I've attended.

1. Various well taken photos of the procession. Different angles if possible but an attempt to show the magnitude and seriousness of the procession. The officers carrying the coffin if possible. Very solem post processing on all the photos taken.

2. The lowering of the coffin if that type of ceremony (not cremation - if cremation then whatever they do for that regarding the placement of the urn - possibly handing of the urn to the family) and the family. I would stay away from close ups of "full face" shots of people grieving... but that would be a personal choice. I would probably try to capture select groups of people (such as close friends, family, partners, etc.) either consoling each other or standing solemly during the ceremony.

3. Shots of the rifle squad salute as well as any bagpipers (most of the one's I've been too have played amazing grace on the bag pipes... one of the more emotional ones I've attended was for a fellow cav scout, when I was in the army, and it was the missing man formation with the empty boots in place of where he would have been in his squad's formation, roll call, and a reading of fiddlers green).

I would stay away from flash if at all possible. Use either a 2.8 lens or an 85 1.8 or better. You do not want to be right in their faces hence the suggestion for a longer lens.

.... Again, what I believe you will be wanting to capture is the respect and honor that is being paid to this person and the feeling of loss at their passing.

[Wreck96]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I see it as doing something for his family, so his unborn children can someday see how much we loved him, and how we honored him. His wife is in such a state of grief as to be in total denial... actually having made a comment about cooking his favorite meal and bringing it Friday in case he's alive still... its just so tragic.

I am going to shoot it and do so with the most respect I possibly can. I’ve decided respect for the family is WAY more important than any photo I could make. I wont shoot any family members and no close-ups others grieving; I’m thinking shots of procession, honor guard, the church, that sort of thing. Its something little I can do for him and his family. if they want it, it'll be there, if they never want to see the photos, they never have to.

As far as the geek end of this, I'll bring a flash and use on camera if absolute needed for some fill in any sort of group shot that may be requested, not going to use it in the church or at the service. I'm thinking 40D with 70-200 f/2.8 IS and 5D mk II with 24-70 (f/2.8). That way no switching lenses and no bag to carry. And if I just get too emotional, so be it, Ill put the cameras down.

[rhys216]

This is one of the saddest threads I'v ever viewed, nearly got me crying at my monitor...
Your friend's family are fortunate that he had a friend like you.

As you said, at least his children will be able to see how well thought of he was, especially as you can tell allot about a person from their funeral service.

If I was you I would put his children/future children first and shoot as many moments as possible, as I'm sure they will shed many tears over the photo album as they begin to get older...

One last thing would be to try and get another one of your co-workers/friends to video the speech/life story of your friend as I always find this to be the best bit of a funeral because you learn so much about the person, so this moment will be invaluable to his family in particular his children.

Best of luck...

[hawk911]

My suggestion too is to make sure you get a shot of the casket with flag; I'm sure they'll drape one, won't they?

My FIL just passed, and I neglected to get a shot of the casket with flag, and the Military honor guard had already wrapped it for his widow.

Condolences to all

[43 North]

Godspeed friend. I couldn't do it if it were one of my officers.

http://www.lafayettegrapevine.com/file/sns_uploads/1/images/ThinBlueLine.jpg

[Jon Foster]

Interesting thread. We'll be having a service for my dad at a national cemetery this summer. I've been thinking about how it should be photographed as a way to document it. My brothers won't be able to attend so I'd like to have a series of photos covering everything from start to end.

Jon.

[Wreck96]

Well, the day has come and gone, and I WILL post some shots here, but I'm going to get them to the family first. Ive only had time to do a little editing this weekend, going to get some more done this week. This was easily the hardest thing ive ever done photogrsphically. At the church i was jockeying for room with some pj for the Washington Post, he kept giving me dirty looks. He asked me what paper I was wit., so I took the badge out and said "None, he's my friend, so don't piss me off." That ended that... By the end of the service at the cemetery, I was sobbing, very hard to shoot anything, no less something worthy, in that condition. But I did my best and I hope I did well.

[advaitin]

It makes us all emotional. But attention to the task is what gets you through the day. I went to a funeral this past week of a relative who was very close during our childhood--a cousin, but like a younger brother to me.
When it got to the point that I felt like crying, I raised my camera and went into PJ mode.

Now the oldest daughter is asking me to post my shots and I'm going through them to select the best.

Funny thing is the wife of the mayor of the small town in NC where the funeral took place goes to all events in the town with her camera and shoots everything--even more than I would. I don't do open caskets unless a family member requests it. She then gives sets of photos to the people she shot.

[JC_Photo]

This is so sad and has me crying. My condolences to the officers family and friends. You will all be in my thoughts. You have done a wonderful thing for this family and I know it wasn't an easy thing to do. For them to have the option of having the images is a wonderful gift you have given them. Bless you for putting your own pain aside as best you could during this difficult time to do such a wonderful thing. Only they can decide if/when they will view the images in the future, but it's wonderful to know they have the option.

[43 North]

At the church i was jockeying for room with some pj for the Washington Post, he kept giving me dirty looks. He asked me what paper I was wit., so I took the badge out and said "None, he's my friend, so don't piss me off."

Not to make light of the situation, but that is bw!

[dche5390]

Remember to capture some photos that celebrate the deceasesed's life. Not all funeral photos must be sombre. A funeral is a celebration of one's life, as much as one to grieve and mourn at one's passing.

[thebishopp]

Remember to capture some photos that celebrate the deceasesed's life. Not all funeral photos must be sombre. A funeral is a celebration of one's life, as much as one to grieve and mourn at one's passing.

Very good point.

[MLphoto]

Most newer cameras I think have the option to turn shutter speed off, I think that would be best... also if you use a telephoto lens, take pictures from a distance.

[Toyman321]

My first post here: My grandfather passed away last week, his funeral was this Monday. Being 92 he had a lot of friends and relatives that were not able to make it to the funeral. We decided as a family we wanted to photograph the funeral for the people that couldn't be there.

We're a family of photographers so my father (son in law to my grandfather) was the one that photographed the service. I didn't pay that close of attention as to what glass he was using but I think he was shooting a the 70-200 so he could stand off a ways.

I can only imagine how awkward it felt to shoot a funeral but I but I already find myself looking through the photo's. I played amazing grace on the bagpipes at the service, and although I don't think I would want to frame the picture of stick it up on a wall I'm glad their is a photographic record of it.

[myride4runner]

RIP to your coworker.

[Chris]

I lost a nephew the age of my oldest son a few years ago. It was heart breaking to lose someone with their whole life ahead (he was only 23) and the wake went until 10:00 pm because there were so many their to mourn with the family. I discretely went around and just took a few snaps of all the people in line out the door and all the way across a parking lot and field. I knew they would want to see how many people came. Not right away, but a couple months later I brought over some 4X6 prints for them. It meant a lot for them to see what happened outside while they were all inside.

[Brain Mechanic]

Very sad for your loss. Now, IMO, if there is some event in my life where I would not have any photos of, would be the funeral of a loved one. I find it, disturbing....again this is only an opinion.