Index  •   • New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
Register to forums    Log in

 
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge
Thread started 03 Feb 2004 (Tuesday) 22:54
Prev/next
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as registered member)

Zillion posts of the baby photographer joke, tripod joke, Canon joke

 
CyberDyneSystems
Admin (type T-2000)
CyberDyneSystems's Avatar
42,444 posts
GALLERY: 47 photos

Joined Apr 2003

Rhode Island USA
MORE INFO

8) One for the photographers....

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...' 'Oh yes, I know why you're here. Harry told me you'd be coming soon.' 'He did? But I...' 'Come right in! No use wasting time .' 'Very well, then.'

The photographer took out his briefcase and sat down. 'As you may already know, I've made a specialty of babies.' 'Good, I'm glad,' said Mrs. Jacobs. 'That's just what Harry and I were looking for.'

'I usually like to try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed,' said the photographer. 'The living room floor is fun too...you can really spread out.' 'Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder it never worked for Harry and me.' 'Well, ma'am, none of us can guarantee a perfect one every time, but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I think you'll be quite pleased with the results.'

'I certainly hope we can get this over with quickly,' Mrs. Jacobs gasped nervously. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man must take his time. I'd like to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure.' 'Don't I know!' said Mrs. Jacobs.

The photographer pulled out a portfolio of his pictures. 'This one was done on top of a bus in downtown London,' he said, showing Mrs. Jacobs the picture. 'Oh my God!' exclaimed Mrs. Jacobs, tugging on her handkerchief.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider the fact that their mother was so difficult to work with.' He showed Mrs. Jacobs another picture. 'She was difficult?' questioned Mrs. Jacobs. 'Extremely,' said the photographer. 'I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around, four and five deep, just to get a good look.' 'Four and five deep!' Mrs. Jacobs was amazed. 'Yes,' said the photographer. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then, it started getting dark and I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels started nibbling on my equipment. I just packed it all in.'

Mrs. Jacobs leaned forward. 'You mean the squirrels actually chewed on your, um...equipment?' 'Yes, ma'am. Thank God, no real damage was done.

Well, we'll get to work as soon as I set up my tripod.'

'Tripod? ' Mrs. Jacobs looked extremely worried now.

'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God, she's fainted!'

Feb 03, 2004 22:54

GEAR LIST
CDS' HOT LINKS
Jake Hegnauer Photographyexternal link

LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as registered member)
SoCal69
Goldmember
1,262 posts
Joined Jan 2002
MORE INFO

A very enjoyable read! Thanks for the uplift CDS!

Feb 03, 2004 23:03

Hye 5 Photographyexternal link

LOG IN TO REPLY
Jesper
Goldmember
Jesper's Avatar
2,742 posts

Joined Oct 2003

The Netherlands
MORE INFO

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Feb 04, 2004 03:32

Canon EOS 5D Mark III

LOG IN TO REPLY
jim ­ monroe
Member
118 posts
Joined Aug 2003
MORE INFO

There have been many humorous posts but this is funniest post I seen in 8 months reading the forum.
No attribution, from whence did this gem come?

Feb 04, 2004 05:55

jim monroe
10D, 50mm/1.8, 100mm/2.8 macro, 400mm/5.6. Gitzo 1325, etc.

LOG IN TO REPLY
Tom ­ W
Canon Fanosapien
Tom W's Avatar
12,743 posts

Joined Feb 2003

Chattanooga, Tennessee
MORE INFO

:lol: Excellent!

Feb 04, 2004 07:16

Tom
5D III, 70D, & various lenses

LOG IN TO REPLY
roanjohn
Goldmember
roanjohn's Avatar
3,791 posts

Joined Dec 2003

New York, NY
MORE INFO

HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Great!!!

Just too funny!!!

Ro1

Feb 04, 2004 07:55



www.pbase.com/roanjohnexternal link

LOG IN TO REPLY
CyberDyneSystems
THREAD ­ STARTER
Admin (type T-2000)
CyberDyneSystems's Avatar
42,444 posts
GALLERY: 47 photos

Joined Apr 2003

Rhode Island USA
MORE INFO

jim monroe wrote:
There have been many humorous posts but this is funniest post I seen in 8 months reading the forum.
No attribution, from whence did this gem come?

I don't rightly know it's origins.. but I lifted it from a fine young lady who calls herself "Sirius" who is an active team mate in a little thing called "Team Picard" which is a group of complete psychotics... much like myself,. who like to dedicate time and computer horsepower in distributed computing efforts like the Human Genome project,. Protein folding , the Search for Extra terretrial intelligence, etc....

If your interested, More info here;

http://forums.teampica​rd.com/external link

Feb 04, 2004 08:35

GEAR LIST
CDS' HOT LINKS
Jake Hegnauer Photographyexternal link

LOG IN TO REPLY
Tom ­ W
Canon Fanosapien
Tom W's Avatar
12,743 posts

Joined Feb 2003

Chattanooga, Tennessee
MORE INFO

You must be younger than I am - I'm from the "James T. Kirk" generation, though I feel like Captain Pike some mornings. :D

Feb 04, 2004 08:39

Tom
5D III, 70D, & various lenses

LOG IN TO REPLY
swampthing
Mostly Lurking
11 posts
Joined Jan 2004
MORE INFO

A little light humour....

Here's an email I received today....


The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in..
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith...

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly?

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh ! my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief...

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed! on your um...equipment ?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.

Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!


well it made me laugh!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Feb 28, 2004 04:59



LOG IN TO REPLY
CyberDyneSystems
THREAD ­ STARTER
Admin (type T-2000)
CyberDyneSystems's Avatar
42,444 posts
GALLERY: 47 photos

Joined Apr 2003

Rhode Island USA
MORE INFO

O love it! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Feb 28, 2004 16:02 as a reply to swampthing's post 11 hours earlier.

GEAR LIST
CDS' HOT LINKS
Jake Hegnauer Photographyexternal link

LOG IN TO REPLY
Ikinaa
Goldmember
Ikinaa's Avatar
1,517 posts

Joined Jul 2003

Luxembourg
MORE INFO

Are photographer's jokes rare???

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthre​ad.php?t=24548

Mar 01, 2004 02:59 as a reply to swampthing's post 1 day earlier.

www.ikinaa.netexternal link

LOG IN TO REPLY
CoolToolGuy
Boosting Ruler Sales
CoolToolGuy's Avatar
4,175 posts

Joined Aug 2003

Maryland, USA
MORE INFO

Ikinaa wrote:
Are photographer's jokes rare???

Compared to golfer's jokes they are. :roll:

But I shutter to think about having more exposure in the joke world. :roll:

Have Fun
Rick 8)

Mar 01, 2004 06:58 as a reply to swampthing's post 2 days earlier.

Rick

My Gear list

LOG IN TO REPLY
Bruce ­ Hamilton
Goldmember
1,404 posts
Joined Feb 2004

USA
MORE INFO

CoolToolGuy wrote:
But I shutter to think about having more exposure in the joke world.

Old photographers never die, they just take longer to develop.
How does a photographer light up a blonde? He puts a flash in each ear.

Mar 01, 2004 08:22 as a reply to swampthing's post 2 days earlier.

LOG IN TO REPLY
stopbath
Goldmember
1,537 posts
Joined Jul 2003
MORE INFO

A photographer took a self portrait in a park. Due to lighting conditions he used the built in flash on the camera. He quickly got arrested for flashing and exposing himself in the park.

Mar 01, 2004 09:28 as a reply to swampthing's post 2 days earlier.



LOG IN TO REPLY
swampthing
Mostly Lurking
11 posts
Joined Jan 2004
MORE INFO

Hmm - CDS - I missed that post - it was the first time i'd heard the joke :roll:

Oh well, sorry if i'm boring you :oops:

Mar 01, 2004 15:38 as a reply to swampthing's post 2 days earlier.



LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as registered member)

51,316 views & 0 likes for this thread
Zillion posts of the baby photographer joke, tripod joke, Canon joke
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge

NOT A MEMBER YET? CLICK HERE TO REGISTER TO THE FORUMS
Registered members get all the features: search, more forums, private messaging, thread follow, notifications, own gallery, own reviews...




Send feedback to staff    •   Jump to forum...    •   Rules    •   Index    •   New posts    •   RTAT    •   'Best of'    •   Gallery    •   Gear    •   Reviews    •   Polls

COOKIES DISCLAIMER: By using this site you agree that some cookies will be stored on your browser. For unlogged users we store one session id cookie. For registered members we store (in addition to login session cookie) only cookies that are essential for required functionality. We do not store any personal tracking data in cookies or other browsers' data storage methods.

POWERED BY AMASS 1.33version 1.33
made in Finland
by Pekka Saarinen
for photography-on-the.net
Spent 0.00161 for 6 database queries.
PAGE COMPLETED IN 0.02s
Latest registered member is PJJ205
567 guests, 580 members online
Simultaneous users record so far is 5175, that happened on Jun 16, 2015