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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
Skip ­ Souza
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The Left Coast in the Land of Fruits and Nuts
Jul 25, 2013 15:31 |  #6091

My greatest fear is that when I die, my wife will sell all my camera gear for what I told her I paid for it.


Bless the recently fallen and their family and friends.
I have a Cannon with me at all times. You can't take the shot if you don't have something with which to shoot. :rolleyes:
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20droger
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Jul 25, 2013 15:47 |  #6092

Skip Souza wrote in post #16153623external link
My greatest fear is that when I die, my wife will sell all my camera gear for what I told her I paid for it.

For the rest of us, this is a very real fear.

For you, however, There's no hiding! Maureen knows damned well what you paid for it!




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CameraMan
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In The Sticks
Jul 25, 2013 18:00 |  #6093

Skip Souza wrote in post #16153623external link
My greatest fear is that when I die, my wife will sell all my camera gear for what I told her I paid for it.

Pffftttt! Who cares! I'm gone. Sell it for however much you want to sell it for. Give it away for all I care. :)


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Shampoo sounds like an unfortunate name for a hair product.
You're a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear Nothing!

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icopus
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In the shadows of Houston
Jul 25, 2013 19:04 |  #6094

CameraMan wrote in post #16149587external link
... THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I also received an A, though it was on a test paper in high school and my answer was not near as clever.

Tenth grade, mid 1970's, sex ed class. Standard test paper made up mostly of true/false questions. During the test, I new the material and was not worried about my grade. Therefore, when I came across the final question, I thought, "Are you kidding? I'm not writing all that! Yeah, I can miss this one." But instead of leaving it blank, I answered it anyway. The teacher of the class was also one of the gym and sports teams coaches. He graded the papers at the front of the class, chuckled at mine and gave me the A.

The question - "What is involved in the birth process?" I'm not sure what he wanted here, but I wasn't about to write a descriptive narrative.
My answer - "A lot of blood, sweat, and tears."

Please 'Like' this post.
...
Oops
... wrong forum.


Camera hit me in the face, now I have a bokeh eye.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

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x_tan
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ɐılɐɹʇsnɐ 'ǝuɹnoqlǝɯ
Jul 25, 2013 23:06 |  #6095

19 Celebrities Before And After Being Photoshoppedexternal link


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CameraMan
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In The Sticks
Jul 25, 2013 23:21 |  #6096

I was expecting a bad Barack Obama edit on the last one but the Taylor Lautner was pretty clever. :)


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Shampoo sounds like an unfortunate name for a hair product.
You're a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear Nothing!

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Jon
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Bethesda, MD USA
Jul 26, 2013 18:35 as a reply to CameraMan's post |  #6097

Skip Souza wrote in post #16153623external link
My greatest fear is that when I die, my wife will sell all my camera gear for what I told her I paid for it.

20droger wrote in post #16153654external link
For the rest of us, this is a very real fear.

For you, however, There's no hiding! Maureen knows damned well what you paid for it!

. . . and she's more likely to keep it than sell it!


Jon
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Calicajun
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Quartz Hill, CA
Jul 26, 2013 18:41 |  #6098

Skip Souza wrote in post #16153623external link
My greatest fear is that when I die, my wife will sell all my camera gear for what I told her I paid for it.

She is more likely to sell your body after you die and buy more camera gear.:lol: Then again I have seen the care she gives you, so I expect you to be around for a very long time.:)


Remember, Stressed spelled backward is Desserts.:)
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Voaky999
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Edmonton,AB
Jul 27, 2013 11:54 |  #6099

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone
on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker
function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful
leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and
saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted
last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. T hey will
probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really
a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room
are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"


Don
"Knowledge is Good" Emil Faber

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neil_r
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Landscape and Cityscape Photographer 2006
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The middle of the UK
Jul 28, 2013 01:56 |  #6100

An oldie but a goody

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'

The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me and have your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.


Neil - © NHR Photography
Commercial Siteexternal link - Video Siteexternal link - Blog -external linkGear List There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs. ~ Ansel Adams

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20droger
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Joined Dec 2006
Jul 28, 2013 07:52 as a reply to neil_r's post |  #6101

The farmer's name was Will. The old lady knew this.

After all, where there's a Will, there's a way.




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bubbygator
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Sarasota, sunlight, butterflies, fish, Gators, and Seminoles
Jul 30, 2013 14:29 as a reply to 20droger's post |  #6102

Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was
an engineer who said his dog could draw. His dog's name was "T-Square",
and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a
triangle, which he did with no sweat.

The accountant said he thought his dog, "Balance", could do better.
He told him to fetch a dozen cookies and divide them into piles of
three, which he did with no problem.

The chemist said that was a very good stunt, but that his dog,
"Apothecary", could do better yet. He told his dog to get a quart of
milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. Apothecary did this
without a hitch.

All three men agreed their dogs were equally smart. They turned to
the Civil Servant and asked him what his dog could do.

The Civil Servant called his dog, whose name was "Coffee break", and said, "Show the
fellows what you can do, old buddy." Coffee Break then strolled over and
ate the cookies, drank the milk, pooped on the paper, screwed the other
three dogs and claimed he injured his back while doing so. He then filed
a grievance for unsafe conditions, applied for Workers' Compensation,
and left for home on sick leave.


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Sarasota, sunlight, butterflies, fish, Gators, and Seminoles

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Ricardo222
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Nelson, New Zealand
Jul 31, 2013 04:45 |  #6103

20droger wrote in post #16160225external link
The farmer's name was Will. The old lady knew this.

After all, where there's a Will, there's a way.

No Rog...he was a dairy farmer. Where there's a Will, there's a whey!


Growing old disgracefully!

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20droger
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Joined Dec 2006
Jul 31, 2013 10:07 |  #6104

Ricardo222 wrote in post #16168985external link
No Rog...he was a dairy farmer. Where there's a Will, there's a whey!

And the old lady was unmarried and named Muffet.

Go sit in a corner, Jack!




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Ricardo222
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Nelson, New Zealand
Jul 31, 2013 15:28 |  #6105

20droger wrote in post #16169559external link
And the old lady was unmarried and named Muffet.

Go sit in a corner, Jack!

Now that is plum funny! :D:D


Growing old disgracefully!

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