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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
Canajun
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Feb 02, 2014 08:51 |  #6466

20droger wrote in post #16655527external link
It's a goat, not a sheep. He married her because he wants to have kids really ba-a-a-a-a-a-ad!

You know what they say: different strokes for different folks. Besides, who are we to judge?

My baaaaaaaad. I guess the sheep will be going back ewe. :D


Jun.Roberto.Dizon.Greg​orio
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I Like Shooting Animals Than People.

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Roy ­ Mathers
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Feb 02, 2014 09:36 |  #6467

I'm sure that would be a good joke if it made sense.:)




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20droger
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Feb 02, 2014 10:41 |  #6468

Roy Mathers wrote in post #16657622external link
I'm sure that would be a good joke if it made sense.:)

His mother told him every home should have a nanny.




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Canajun
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Feb 02, 2014 23:45 |  #6469

20droger wrote in post #16657795external link
His mother told him every home should have a nanny.

Lol I did screw up badly didn't. I should have read it three times before pressing the submit button :o

Oh well I'm glad it happened on the funny section.

Cheers!


Jun.Roberto.Dizon.Greg​orio
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Roy ­ Mathers
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Feb 03, 2014 04:41 |  #6470

You should have checked that last one also!




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Cubdriver
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Feb 03, 2014 12:45 |  #6471

I was visiting my daughter the other night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

"Dad, this is the 21st century," she said in a cocky tone, "We don't waste money on newspapers"...."Here, you can use my iPad."


I can tell you this.....that damned fly never knew what hit it...


Smugmug site: http://pmanning.smugmu​g.com/external link

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neil_r
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The middle of the UK
Feb 03, 2014 13:28 |  #6472

Two Irish friends who worked for the same company were made redundant on the same day. They both presented at the unemployment office together and Seamus went in for his interview first.

“So Mr Murphy, what was your job?”
“Well sir I sewed the elastic into the waist of ladies knickers”

The official looked up this job and said to Seamus. “Well Mr Murphy, that is classed as unskilled labour so until you find a new job you will get £70 a week in benefits”

Next Patrick came in for his interview.

“Mr O’Donnell what was your job”
“Well sir I was a diesel fitter”

The official looked up this job and said to Patrick “That is classed as a skilled job so until you find a new job you will receive £170 a week”

Patrick went out and told Seamus what had happened. Patrick was furious and stormed back into the office and screamed at the official.

“What is the meaning of this, you give me £70 a week and you are giving Pat £170, it’s not on!”

The official tried to explain, “Look Mr Murphy, you did an unskilled job and Mr O’Donnell did a skilled job, that is why he is receiving more money”

“You are talking nonsense sir, I had to lay out the material, place the elastic around the top, fold over the material and then carefully stitch around the whole thing, I then handed them over to Pat and all he did was hold them up to a ruler and say “Sure diesel fitter”


Neil - © NHR Photography
Commercial Siteexternal link - Video Siteexternal link - Blog -external linkGear List There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs. ~ Ansel Adams

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Harm
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Feb 03, 2014 13:31 |  #6473

neil_r wrote in post #16660611external link
Two Irish friends who worked for the same company were made redundant on the same day. They both presented at the unemployment office together and Seamus went in for his interview first.

“So Mr Murphy, what was your job?”
“Well sir I sewed the elastic into the waist of ladies knickers”

The official looked up this job and said to Seamus. “Well Mr Murphy, that is classed as unskilled labour so until you find a new job you will get £70 a week in benefits”

Next Patrick came in for his interview.

“Mr O’Donnell what was your job”
“Well sir I was a diesel fitter”

The official looked up this job and said to Patrick “That is classed as a skilled job so until you find a new job you will receive £170 a week”

Patrick went out and told Seamus what had happened. Patrick was furious and stormed back into the office and screamed at the official.

“What is the meaning of this, you give me £70 a week and you are giving Pat £170, it’s not on!”

The official tried to explain, “Look Mr Murphy, you did an unskilled job and Mr O’Donnell did a skilled job, that is why he is receiving more money”

“You are talking nonsense sir, I had to lay out the material, place the elastic around the top, fold over the material and then carefully stitch around the whole thing, I then handed them over to Pat and all he did was hold them up to a ruler and say “Sure diesel fitter”

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


SmugMugexternal link

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Ricardo222
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Feb 03, 2014 21:17 |  #6474

Harm wrote in post #16660619external link
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

I agree!

That really cracked me up!:D


Growing old disgracefully!

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Jill-of-all-Trades
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Feb 08, 2014 21:33 |  #6475

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.” He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth...” Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”


Melody

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Jon
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Feb 08, 2014 21:40 |  #6476

Jill-of-all-Trades wrote in post #16674936external link
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.” He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth...” Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”

You've, single-handed, raised the level of this thread at least three-fold!


Jon
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lehmanncpa
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Feb 09, 2014 06:05 |  #6477

Jon wrote in post #16674945external link
You've, single-handed, raised the level of this thread at least three-fold!

Yes, but zero times three is still zero. :rolleyes:


Alex
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Grumps ­ Photo
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Feb 09, 2014 11:31 |  #6478

lehmanncpa wrote in post #16675491external link
Yes, but zero times three is still zero. :rolleyes:

And when did we get up to 0?:confused:


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Ricardo222
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Feb 10, 2014 01:53 |  #6479

JAZZ D.P.G. wrote in post #16676030external link
And when did we get up to 0?:confused:

:D Sad. But true! :D


Growing old disgracefully!

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Howard ­ Barlow
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Beaumont,Texas
Feb 12, 2014 21:06 |  #6480

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

He then addressed the men:
“Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”

Frank leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?”

And thus began Frank's life of celibacy.


Smarter than I look, but Momma always said I pretty much had to be.

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