I think the white is a bit too strong - but most of the look is pretty good.
If you want to find out what your local audience thinks, try this -
Print a few versions of the same photo processed the same way - 3 or 4 at the most.
They will quickly tell you what they like best. Show the parents, and the students - see if they say the same thing. I learned that the parents I show softball and baseball photos seem to like very low levels of processing, but swimming parents like a bit more color and saturation. Not sure why - but those are my local parents. Your's may vary!