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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
icopus
I'm not a snitch and I don't kiss and tell.  
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Joined Dec 2010
In the shadows of Houston
Post has been edited 19 days ago by icopus.
Nov 03, 2017 10:27 |  #7546

Love it. Added link. Another favorite (external link) from the movie.


Camera hit me in the face, now I have a bokeh eye.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

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john ­ crossley
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Joined Nov 2009
The Rhubarb Triangle
Nov 04, 2017 03:24 |  #7547

How do bees travel to trees?
They take the buzz.


Those that can, do. Those that can't whinge.

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icopus
I'm not a snitch and I don't kiss and tell.  
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Joined Dec 2010
In the shadows of Houston
Nov 04, 2017 09:46 |  #7548

I believe I've already posted this before, but it's been awhile back. Maybe someone hasn't seen it. I know I relate to it more than ever. Hope this post works again.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it
needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I
brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under
the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage
first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the
garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check
left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my
desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so
that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep
it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been
searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the
flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and
suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the
remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to
put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the
spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn't washed

The bills aren't paid

There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't
remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!


Camera hit me in the face, now I have a bokeh eye.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

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bubbygator
I can't tell the difference
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Sarasota, sunlight, butterflies, fish, Gators, and Seminoles
Nov 04, 2017 10:03 |  #7549

Yeah,, I recall it... excellent. Thanks


Gear List
The avatar is my middle grandson. (the TF can't tell the difference, but the fish is frowning and the kid is grinning)
Sarasota, sunlight, butterflies, fish, Gators, and Seminoles

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AZGeorge
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Joined Dec 2010
Southen Arizona
Nov 04, 2017 11:10 |  #7550

icopus wrote in post #18488346 (external link)
I believe I've already posted this before, but it's been awhile back . . .

I have just three things to say about that.

First, uh


George
Democracy Dies in Darkness

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john ­ crossley
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The Rhubarb Triangle
Nov 05, 2017 11:37 |  #7551

What is green, has leaves, and a trunk?
A houseplant going on vacation.


Those that can, do. Those that can't whinge.

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john ­ crossley
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The Rhubarb Triangle
Nov 06, 2017 02:11 |  #7552

Where can Adansonia trees go for a quick trim?
To the baobarber.


Those that can, do. Those that can't whinge.

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john ­ crossley
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2,033 posts
Joined Nov 2009
The Rhubarb Triangle
Nov 07, 2017 03:13 |  #7553

What is every single tree’s least favorite month?
SepTIMMMBERRR!


Those that can, do. Those that can't whinge.

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Roy ­ Mathers
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Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Nov 07, 2017 04:07 |  #7554

Have you gone all American John? (Favorite, vacation etc)




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Ian ­ Mackie
Don’t bait the TF, it’ll backfire on you.
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Joined May 2013
From Scotland, living in Gibraltar "A Jock on the Rock"
Nov 07, 2017 05:56 |  #7555

Roy Mathers wrote in post #18490595 (external link)
Have you gone all American John? (Favorite, vacation etc)

Probably cutting and pasting from a "Tree joke website"


flickr (external link)

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Roy ­ Mathers
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Nov 07, 2017 09:59 |  #7556

That's what I was thinking Ian :-)




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scriveyn
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SW Germany
Nov 07, 2017 10:09 |  #7557

Stash of TRI X PANs, I'd guess.


Frank, also known as jazzman
C&C welcome
Image Editing OK (for reposting in the same thread)

I Jazz

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Roy ­ Mathers
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35,648 posts
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Joined Dec 2006
Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Nov 07, 2017 10:40 |  #7558

scriveyn wrote in post #18490776 (external link)
Stash of TRI X PANs, I'd guess.

???




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scriveyn
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SW Germany
Nov 07, 2017 10:46 |  #7559

Roy Mathers wrote in post #18490807 (external link)
???

Kodak TRI X-Pan film / "tree ex-puns" :rolleyes:


Frank, also known as jazzman
C&C welcome
Image Editing OK (for reposting in the same thread)

I Jazz

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john ­ crossley
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The Rhubarb Triangle
Nov 08, 2017 02:53 |  #7560

What must trees drink responsibly?
Root beer.


Those that can, do. Those that can't whinge.

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