NEED HELP - PLEASE read! Wedding Snafu

[JReichert]

I did a last-minute wedding, end of last month. The bride's mother is the one who found me, contacted me, set up the initial meeting, and paid for half of my fee as well as signed the contract with the groom's father. She's been a pleasure to work with so far. In the package I quoted them was a photobook and a giclée canvas wall display, everything else discounted à la carte.

The bride's mother informed me a few days after the wedding that her daughter was no longer talking to her. Which came as no real surprise, because in all honesty the daughter was a real PIA during the initial meeting and the whole wedding day, especially to her mother. The bride's mother tells me her daughter is still, a month later, not talking to her.

And now my dilemma.

The mother all along has stated that she would like the canvas and the bride and groom can of course have the photobook. In emails since the wedding (while I was developing their CD of low-res, watermarked images) the bride & groom said that they want everything - both photobook AND print. I explained that the bride's mother wanted the canvas and they would have to discuss it with her, to which they kept responding, "We're not talking to her." ...... ooooo-kay.

I met with them in person to give them the CD last week and they were kind of aloof, asked where the photobook was (um, YOU have to pick the photos, remember?) and then mentioned the canvas, to which I again responded with, "(The bride's) mother said that she would like it and you should talk with her to get this cleared up," and they AGAIN responded with, "Well, we're not speaking with her right now, and we'd like it." I changed the subject and we parted shortly thereafter.

I sent them a reminder email about letting me know the images they'd like for the photobook and again reminding, a bit more bluntly, that as the bride's mother paid for half of my fee and signed the contract, I'm contractually obligated to honor HER wishes. I said that I would like the groom's father's information so that I can speak with him about this.

To which they responded (verbatim), "Hi Joanna, I realize that you signed a contract with my mother but this is Matt and My wedding photos we would like the 11x14 print, His parents who also signed the contract want us to have that print so I hope we can wok this out and we will have the photos for the book by the 7th."

Note that they did NOT give me the groom's father's info as I requested.

So I'm at this stupid crossroads that I absolutely did NOT foresee and I'm at a loss. Legally, I'm beholden to the bride's mother and the groom's father. I can say, too bad so sad to the bride & groom and just give the mother the canvas, but then I've been negligent as far as the groom's father's wishes go (even though I've not been successful at contacting him thus far.)

My last ditch effort will be to offer them, at a cost equal to the price of the original canvas print, 2 smaller prints so that both bride & groom and bride's mother can have a print. But that feels like giving in and it's ridiculous that I'm stuck in the middle of this childish squabbling.

Any thoughts on this I'm losing sleep over this.

[jra]

First off, the bride's mother hired you, she is the one with whom you should be talking with. You really have no obligation to the married couple unless the mother of the bride asks you to work with them instead of her. From your post, it seems that the mother of the bride purchased the canvas (and your services) through your contract for herself and then gifted the photobook to the married couple. At this point, I would very politely inform the bride and groom that you are working for the bride's mother and that the purchased canvas is for the mother. If they would like to purchase additional prints (or whatever) they are certainly free to do so.....but you can't simply give them someone else's item (even if it is the bride's Mom). Continue to work with the couple to complete the photobook, as requested by your paying customer, and keep in mind that the couple are NOT your customers for this job. You have absolutely no obligation to them what-so-ever. Your obligation lies with the bride's Mother who signed the contract.
On the other side of things, it seems from your post that you still have yet to collect the other half of your payment.....again, this obligation lies with the person who signed the contract. The couple has no obligation to pay you a thing if they have not signed the contract.
Personally, I would contact the bride's mother ASAP and ask her how she would like you to handle the situation. When it comes to any working situation, IMO, it's important to have a single point of contact (ultimately the person who hired you and signed the contract). Put the burden on them to make the decisions and all you need to worry about is following through with their request.

[Iscariotau]

Originally Posted by jra

First off, the bride's mother hired you, she is the one with whom you should be talking with. You really have no obligation to the married couple unless the mother of the bride asks you to work with them instead of her. From your post, it seems that the mother of the bride purchased the canvas (and your services) through your contract for herself and then gifted the photobook to the married couple. At this point, I would very politely inform the bride and groom that you are working for the bride's mother and that the purchased canvas is for the mother. If they would like to purchase additional prints (or whatever) they are certainly free to do so.....but you can't simply give them someone else's item (even if it is the bride's Mom). Continue to work with the couple to complete the photobook, as requested by your paying customer, and keep in mind that the couple are NOT your customers for this job. You have absolutely no obligation to them what-so-ever. Your obligation lies with the bride's Mother who signed the contract.
On the other side of things, it seems from your post that you still have yet to collect the other half of your payment.....again, this obligation lies with the person who signed the contract. The couple has no obligation to pay you a thing if they have not signed the contract.
Personally, I would contact the bride's mother ASAP and ask her how she would like you to handle the situation. When it comes to any working situation, IMO, it's important to have a single point of contact (ultimately the person who hired you and signed the contract). Put the burden on them to make the decisions and all you need to worry about is following through with their request.

Couldnt agree more. While I understand why the B&G think that they have rights to the canvas, they did not hire nor pay you so they have no claim on the images. At best they can claim the photobook as your client indicated that they were the inteneded recipeint. Having said that I feel that you should be delivering the book to the Mother / Father in law given that they paid for it, if they want to gift it to the B&G let them do so.

[michael Lee]

Originally Posted by jra

First off, the bride's mother hired you, she is the one with whom you should be talking with. You really have no obligation to the married couple unless the mother of the bride asks you to work with them instead of her. From your post, it seems that the mother of the bride purchased the canvas (and your services) through your contract for herself and then gifted the photobook to the married couple. At this point, I would very politely inform the bride and groom that you are working for the bride's mother and that the purchased canvas is for the mother. If they would like to purchase additional prints (or whatever) they are certainly free to do so.....but you can't simply give them someone else's item (even if it is the bride's Mom). Continue to work with the couple to complete the photobook, as requested by your paying customer, and keep in mind that the couple are NOT your customers for this job. You have absolutely no obligation to them what-so-ever. Your obligation lies with the bride's Mother who signed the contract.
On the other side of things, it seems from your post that you still have yet to collect the other half of your payment.....again, this obligation lies with the person who signed the contract. The couple has no obligation to pay you a thing if they have not signed the contract.
Personally, I would contact the bride's mother ASAP and ask her how she would like you to handle the situation. When it comes to any working situation, IMO, it's important to have a single point of contact (ultimately the person who hired you and signed the contract). Put the burden on them to make the decisions and all you need to worry about is following through with their request.

+1.
Your client is the person or people that signed the contract. Your obligation is to that person/people. The problems in their relationship are not yours. Simply state to them I am contractually obligated to deliver the canvas to my client, and your hands are tied.

They can work out the details amongst themselves. I wish you luck. I know this situations suck.

[JReichert]

Thanks for replying!

2 people signed the contract and paid me - the bride's mother and the groom's father. I've not been in contact with the father since the reception and indeed did not get his contact info when he signed the contract - BIG mistake on my part. It was all so informal and casual and I thought, surely, if something comes up I can get his info from the groom. Which of course I'm finding a hardship now!

So you see, I'm freaking out because now I'm at an impasse within the family. I haven't a clue what the groom's father will say, though I'm guessing he'll side with son and say, "Sure, the bride and groom should have everything!" In which case that goes against the other party's wishes - the bride's mother.

Do you think my best course of action would be to send an email to both the newlyweds and the bride's mother and say that we need to get all parties together for a sit-downt o discuss this?

[michael Lee]

Did the father of the groom and mother of the bride sign the contract at the same time?

[mpix345]

Is the bride's mother still behaving reasonably? Doesn't she have contact info for the groom's father? How did he pay you? Seems there should be some level of trace-ability back to him through check or credit card or something.

[jra]

Personally, I think you made a big mistake by having two people sign the contract if the contract wasn't written up to specify the exact obligation that each person held to you along with the exact obligation that you held to each of the parties involved. Without that being spelled out in the contract, you're left with a muddled mess. Whenever possible, I would always suggest having a single person sign the contract, that way you know exactly who your customer is.
Considering the circumstances at this point, I would say that you need to arrange a meeting with both of the parties involved in your contract....all three of you together. Allow them to talk it over, figure it out and make the final decisions. Once they come to a conclusion, it may be a wise idea to make an addendum to the contract that specifies the additional details. As far as the couple goes, you still hold no obligation to them, nor them to you......so just leave them out of the equation until you can clarify things with your customers.

[Moppie]

How much would it eat into your margin to just get two canvases printed?

Give them one each and be done with it.

[cdifoto]

Originally Posted by Moppie

How much would it eat into your margin to just get two canvases printed?

Give them one each and be done with it.

Screw that. Their squabbling doesn't mean OP should have more costs out of pocket.

[Moppie]

Originally Posted by cdifoto

Screw that. Their squabbling doesn't mean OP should have more costs out of pocket.

Depends on how much your business relies on repeat bookings (baby photos etc after wedding) and word of mouth marketing.
Also depends on how you feel about good will and its value, and if there is a likely hood of other album or print sales.

Also consider how much time and effort will be put into trying to make both parties happy and having to deal with their squabbles.

If your shooting on a regular basis, have lots of other customers and or sales work to do, then you might be better off taking the cost and making it up else where.
Consider time spent dealing with the problem time your not spending selling, shooting and promoting (or resting).

Of course if your running tight margins and the cost of a second print can't be swallowed then you have no choice but to be hard and lay out the facts.

[cdifoto]

Originally Posted by Moppie

Depends on how much your business relies on repeat bookings (baby photos etc after wedding) and word of mouth marketing.
Also depends on how you feel about good will and its value, and if there is a likely hood of other album or print sales.

I'm all for good will but I wouldn't spend a penny to act like the parent in OP's situation. That's like having two screaming kids fighting over the same toy and rewarding their bad behavior by buying them each a toy. Good will should be used to reward good clients, not to appease troublesome ones.

[Curtis N]

Originally Posted by JReichert

The bride's mother informed me a few days after the wedding that her daughter was no longer talking to her. Which came as no real surprise, because in all honesty the daughter was a real PIA during the initial meeting and the whole wedding day, especially to her mother. The bride's mother tells me her daughter is still, a month later, not talking to her."
"We're not talking to her."
"Well, we're not speaking with her right now, and we'd like it."

I really don't see a problem here.
You have been paid for the job. You did your job. You have product ready to ship, as soon as client contacts you to advise shipping address. The FOG will contact you in due time.

Spoiled little b_tch bride is not your client. Unfortunate groom is not your client. They are not likely to become clients in the near future or refer business to you. They are being quite rude to your client. Why even talk to them?

The only way to get any satisfaction out of this situation is to say,
"Listen you childish, spoiled little b_tch brat, the only way you will see any pictures from this wedding is if you start acting like a grown-up and have a civil conversation with the person who paid for my services."

... or not. Your call. But there's no reason to lose sleep over this.

[wanyc]

The simplest way to deal with this is by sending an email to all parties and asking them to forward it to the groom's father. Something along the lines of this:

Greetings. As you may know, I have received contradictory instructions from you regarding who is to receive the included canvas print. If you would each like one this can easily be done for an additional $____. However, since Mrs. ___________ and Mr. _____________ are the contracting parties and paid for my services I will deliver the canvas print to Mrs. ____________ and the photo book to the bride and groom as originally directed. Seeing as you are all family now, I presume you will be able to make sure the proper party receives the canvas print if anything has changed. Although I have requested Mr. __________'s email address from you, I have not received it. Please pass this email on to him. Once again, thank you for using me to photograph your special day.

Put the onus on them to resolve it rather than you.

[JReichert]

Originally Posted by michael Lee

Did the father of the groom and mother of the bride sign the contract at the same time?

They did not. Bride's mom signed upon the initial meeting, groom's dad signed before I started shooting the day of the wedding and both parties paid me that day.

Originally Posted by mpix345

Is the bride's mother still behaving reasonably? Doesn't she have contact info for the groom's father? How did he pay you? Seems there should be some level of trace-ability back to him through check or credit card or something.

I didn't even think of that. Yes, he paid me by check, I can look that up.

Originally Posted by Moppie

Depends on how much your business relies on repeat bookings (baby photos etc after wedding) and word of mouth marketing.
Also depends on how you feel about good will and its value, and if there is a likely hood of other album or print sales.

Of course if your running tight margins and the cost of a second print can't be swallowed then you have no choice but to be hard and lay out the facts.

Yeah, I'm not concerned about a 'glowing' review from the B&G at this point. All of my work up to this point has been free shoots (for things I care about or can learn from) and they buy prints. I'm leaving June 2nd for Maine to hike the Appalachian Trail and when I get back, then I can throw myself into my photographic work. One PIA customer out of other satisfied ones, I'm not worried about.

Originally Posted by Curtis N

I really don't see a problem here.
You have been paid for the job. You did your job. You have product ready to ship, as soon as client contacts you to advise shipping address. The FOG will contact you in due time.

Spoiled little b_tch bride is not your client. Unfortunate groom is not your client. They are not likely to become clients in the near future or refer business to you. They are being quite rude to your client. Why even talk to them?

The only way to get any satisfaction out of this situation is to say,
"Listen you childish, spoiled little b_tch brat, the only way you will see any pictures from this wedding is if you start acting like a grown-up and have a civil conversation with the person who paid for my services."

... or not. Your call. But there's no reason to lose sleep over this.

Ha! Oh, believe me, I'm tempted. I just don't want my @ss hauled to court over 'breach of contract' or anything just because I honored the explicit wishes of one of the parties and didn't receive any input from the other, you know?