How do I say No??

bigrob · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

I was reading up on the Wedding topics the other night to pass some time.

Lo and behold the next night my girlfriend says he niece will be getting married abroad next year.

I took photos and made her an album last year for her 21st (which she loved) & she wants me to supplement the wedding photogragher that she will hire. I believe the standard package is about 15 photos.

Whilst I like taking photos (or why would I be here) I do not want the responsibilty as I am not confident I can do the job to a decent standard.

How do you tell someone that you appreciated being asked but you would prefer it if she coughed up the money for an experienced wedding photographer?

They will obviously counter any argument with "you are a good photographer and we know you would do a great job".

n.b. I know I am a keen but not very good photographer.

Maureen Souza · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

N-O.

Offer to shoot a bit for a wedding gift but only if she hires a photographer as well.

MALI · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigrob

...she wants me to supplement the wedding photogragher that she will hire.

What are you afraid of? You will be the second photographer there. Even if you mess big time, it won't be a total loss.

I believe this would be a big experience for you. Go for it.

MALI

bigrob · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

Ah Mali - I certainly didn't think of it like that.

smittymike19 · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

yeah i agree with mali. you will be the second photog. hell i am not that good, but i can get 15 decent shots off as a wandering photog during a wedding. course i might have to shoot 300 shots to get the decent 15. if you were asked to be the number 1 guy, say no. number 2, well thats pretty hard to mess up, as not much is being asked and if you blow the whole thing, they still have the first guys pics to look at. go for it! treat it as a learning experience.

bbulldog · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

send them a link to this forum, the problems of wedding photography. Tell them then you are not expirienced enough, but as a second photographer ie. getting in a bit of expirience, i would have a word with them and say you will try it out.

SuzyView · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

First of all, what equipment do you have right now? Have you done weddings before or any event like a wedding? This may be a very good excuse for you to get new equipment like lenses and flashes, etc.

This is what happened to me, except some friends asked me to be their primary photographer. I agreed as they knew I was new to this and not a pro. I took about 300 pictures at the wedding with group shots and portraits mainly. I would print up one 8X10 or larger on my Epson 1280 and then mat and frame that photo for the reception in the evening. This was their wedding gift from me. I would give them my CD of all the pictures and they'd pay for the film if I took some with my EOS 3.

The 2nd time this happened, the friends wanted to pay me. I said I would charge them $50/hour and they could have the same package. The whole project cost them $200 and they ended up with 300 pictures. These friend couldn't afford the usual $3000 for a really great photographer. I didn't have great gear at the time. Now I have 3 cameras, 6 lenses, flashes, tripods, bags, etc. These experiences helped me a lot. I had to learn how to use the camera, the lighting, and even PS for printing. Take a risk! You aren't even the primary photographer and it may surprise you how good you are.

cdifoto · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

Shooting weddings doesn't have to be stressful. The most difficult part is knowing your gear. Have fun with it.

Photodawg1 · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

I agree with Mali and SuziView. I had a business card on a bulletin in local eatery and someone saw it and wanted to hire me. Wellll, No experience with weddings, so I had a friend who studied photography and worked as assistant at weddings. He was primary on everything and I shot backup. Very invaluable experience. No pressure on me about messing anything up and they picked some of my shots for their package too. No better way to have exposure to wedding photographer to see if it's for you..

CyberPet · 1st of February 2006 (Wed)

You push the tip of your tongue upwards, fairly close to your teeth, then sort of "hum" with your voice, that makes the "n'h" and you let go of your tongue and form the inside of your mouth as if you had a hot meatball in it and push out the "o'h". That's how you say NO.

If you find it fun and want to do it, but feel you're not confident enough to be "the" photographer, talk to the photographer they *will* hire and ask if it's OK if you tag along and also take some pictures - or take pictures from other parts of the wedding, where the wedding photographer cannot be/see.

In any case, it's always great to get a compliment like this... it started that way for me, I said no twice to a couple and they still insisted. I asked a buddy of mine, who's been a photographer for many years (and a wedding photographer). He told me to say yes and he'd train me, so he let me tag along with him for a few times before the big day and I had a small "rehearsal" on my own prior to it. It turned out being great fun and I have now 6 weddings under my belt, and now I have 7 booked weddings this year and they still keep booking.

PIXI_666 · 6th of February 2006 (Mon)

Jus tlet her know it will be a casual shoot because your not 100% confident. Trust me i was a bride 3 months ago, and i was willing to get a man off the street to do my photo's that's how desperate i was to save money LOL

All in all i got someone great and paid more than i expected...understandable!

I did my first wedding for a cousin, it's the best way to do your first shoot, because you know them and you have already told them your not 100% confident, so they understand your position.

If she lieks your shots? What are you waiting for

Del

bigrob · 6th of February 2006 (Mon)

Thanks for all the advice. I will definitely do it, but as advised explain that I will do my best and hope they like what I produce.

Gear wise. A 20D, MKIIn, 28-78 L 2.8, 50 1.8, 70-200 2.8L IS, 580 flash.

Many thanks again.

Photodawg1 · 6th of February 2006 (Mon)

Behind you all the way...want to see some of your shots! Good luck and hope you find it enjoyable.

tim · 6th of February 2006 (Mon)

The best way to say "no" is to throw your hands in the air and run away screaming like a madman. Don't answer your phone or email for a week. They should get the hint

Working as a 2nd photographer is low stress and could be fun, if you want to try it

SR071 · 7th of February 2006 (Tue)

Just make sure you get the nod from the official 1st photographer.

Nothing worse than 2 togs snapping at each other. This happened during a recent wedding where my partner was kicked out of a public park because the official photog got distraced by the shutter on her 20D. She left quietly, but was fuming - and the couple were upset by it as they had specifically asked my partner to be there.......

1st of February 2006 (Wed)	#1
bigrob Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,412	How do I say No?? I was reading up on the Wedding topics the other night to pass some time. Lo and behold the next night my girlfriend says he niece will be getting married abroad next year. I took photos and made her an album last year for her 21st (which she loved) & she wants me to supplement the wedding photogragher that she will hire. I believe the standard package is about 15 photos. Whilst I like taking photos (or why would I be here) I do not want the responsibilty as I am not confident I can do the job to a decent standard. How do you tell someone that you appreciated being asked but you would prefer it if she coughed up the money for an experienced wedding photographer? They will obviously counter any argument with "you are a good photographer and we know you would do a great job". n.b. I know I am a keen but not very good photographer.

1st of February 2006 (Wed)	#2
Maureen Souza Ms. Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Central California Posts: 28,964 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: How do I say No?? N-O. Offer to shoot a bit for a wedding gift but only if she hires a photographer as well. __________________ Life is hard...but I just take it one photograph at a time. 5DmkIII 7D Canon Lenses: 50/1.4, 85/1.2 135/2.0, 300/f4, 24-70! Pro1

1st of February 2006 (Wed)	#4
bigrob Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,412	Re: How do I say No?? Ah Mali - I certainly didn't think of it like that.

1st of February 2006 (Wed)	#5
smittymike19 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: new jersey, usa Posts: 779 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: How do I say No?? yeah i agree with mali. you will be the second photog. hell i am not that good, but i can get 15 decent shots off as a wandering photog during a wedding. course i might have to shoot 300 shots to get the decent 15. if you were asked to be the number 1 guy, say no. number 2, well thats pretty hard to mess up, as not much is being asked and if you blow the whole thing, they still have the first guys pics to look at. go for it! treat it as a learning experience.

1st of February 2006 (Wed)	#6
bbulldog Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Germany but born in Woolwich, London Posts: 1,135 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: How do I say No?? send them a link to this forum, the problems of wedding photography. Tell them then you are not expirienced enough, but as a second photographer ie. getting in a bit of expirience, i would have a word with them and say you will try it out. __________________ Canon EOS 50D gripped Canon EF-S 60mm f/2.8 Macro USM, EF 28-105mm f/4-5.6 USM, EF 75-300mm f/4-5.6 III USM Canon EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 IS Walimex 650-1300mm Canon MR-14EX, Sigma EF-500 DG Super Flash, *CELESTRON* C6-SGT

1st of February 2006 (Wed)	#7
SuzyView Ms Moderator and Grandma Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Northern VA Posts: 31,480 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: How do I say No?? First of all, what equipment do you have right now? Have you done weddings before or any event like a wedding? This may be a very good excuse for you to get new equipment like lenses and flashes, etc. This is what happened to me, except some friends asked me to be their primary photographer. I agreed as they knew I was new to this and not a pro. I took about 300 pictures at the wedding with group shots and portraits mainly. I would print up one 8X10 or larger on my Epson 1280 and then mat and frame that photo for the reception in the evening. This was their wedding gift from me. I would give them my CD of all the pictures and they'd pay for the film if I took some with my EOS 3. The 2nd time this happened, the friends wanted to pay me. I said I would charge them $50/hour and they could have the same package. The whole project cost them $200 and they ended up with 300 pictures. These friend couldn't afford the usual $3000 for a really great photographer. I didn't have great gear at the time. Now I have 3 cameras, 6 lenses, flashes, tripods, bags, etc. These experiences helped me a lot. I had to learn how to use the camera, the lighting, and even PS for printing. Take a risk! You aren't even the primary photographer and it may surprise you how good you are. __________________ Suzie - Still Speaking Canonese! *5D2* *7D & G12, the new iPad, iPhone 5 , 5 L's & 2 Primes* 23 bags - 4 Domke, 3 Lowepro, 1 Crumpler, 2 Tamrac, 5 Kata, 3 Thinktanks, 1 Pelican, 1 Tenba bag, 1 Epiphanie Paris & 2 Coach Handbag! And no excuses. My children are the reason, but it's the passion that drives me to get the perfect image of everything. My Gear and Wishes

1st of February 2006 (Wed)	#8
cdifoto Don't get pissy with me Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 32,687	Re: How do I say No?? Shooting weddings doesn't have to be stressful. The most difficult part is knowing your gear. Have fun with it. __________________ Did you lose Digital Photo Professional (DPP)? Get it here. Cursing at your worse-than-a-map reflector? Check out this vid!

1st of February 2006 (Wed)	#9
Photodawg1 Goldmember Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 3,059 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: How do I say No?? I agree with Mali and SuziView. I had a business card on a bulletin in local eatery and someone saw it and wanted to hire me. Wellll, No experience with weddings, so I had a friend who studied photography and worked as assistant at weddings. He was primary on everything and I shot backup. Very invaluable experience. No pressure on me about messing anything up and they picked some of my shots for their package too. No better way to have exposure to wedding photographer to see if it's for you.. __________________ ______________ http://www.lindasiadys.com

1st of February 2006 (Wed)	#10
CyberPet Hiding Under a Rock Join Date: May 2005 Location: Piteå, Sweden Posts: 4,052 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: How do I say No?? You push the tip of your tongue upwards, fairly close to your teeth, then sort of "hum" with your voice, that makes the "n'h" and you let go of your tongue and form the inside of your mouth as if you had a hot meatball in it and push out the "o'h". That's how you say NO. If you find it fun and want to do it, but feel you're not confident enough to be "the" photographer, talk to the photographer they will hire and ask if it's OK if you tag along and also take some pictures - or take pictures from other parts of the wedding, where the wedding photographer cannot be/see. In any case, it's always great to get a compliment like this... it started that way for me, I said no twice to a couple and they still insisted. I asked a buddy of mine, who's been a photographer for many years (and a wedding photographer). He told me to say yes and he'd train me, so he let me tag along with him for a few times before the big day and I had a small "rehearsal" on my own prior to it. It turned out being great fun and I have now 6 weddings under my belt, and now I have 7 booked weddings this year and they still keep booking. __________________ /Petra Hall Click here to view my geeky gear list I shoot as much as possible in available light... sometimes, my flash is available – Joe Buissink

6th of February 2006 (Mon)	#11
PIXI_666 Goldmember Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perth, WA, Australia Posts: 2,005	Re: How do I say No?? Jus tlet her know it will be a casual shoot because your not 100% confident. Trust me i was a bride 3 months ago, and i was willing to get a man off the street to do my photo's that's how desperate i was to save money LOL All in all i got someone great and paid more than i expected...understandable! I did my first wedding for a cousin, it's the best way to do your first shoot, because you know them and you have already told them your not 100% confident, so they understand your position. If she lieks your shots? What are you waiting for Del __________________ "Capturing, Creating & Preserving your memories" Adelle Cousins Photography www.adellecousins.com.au info@adellecousins.com.au

6th of February 2006 (Mon)	#12
bigrob Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,412	Re: How do I say No?? Thanks for all the advice. I will definitely do it, but as advised explain that I will do my best and hope they like what I produce. Gear wise. A 20D, MKIIn, 28-78 L 2.8, 50 1.8, 70-200 2.8L IS, 580 flash. Many thanks again.

6th of February 2006 (Mon)	#13
Photodawg1 Goldmember Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 3,059 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: How do I say No?? Behind you all the way...want to see some of your shots! Good luck and hope you find it enjoyable. __________________ ______________ http://www.lindasiadys.com

6th of February 2006 (Mon)	#14
tim Light Bringer Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Wellington, New Zealand Posts: 47,898 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: How do I say No?? The best way to say "no" is to throw your hands in the air and run away screaming like a madman. Don't answer your phone or email for a week. They should get the hint Working as a 2nd photographer is low stress and could be fun, if you want to try it __________________ NZIPP Qualified Professional wedding photographer. Camera and Lens Reviews ~ Wellington Wedding Photographer Wellington Wedding Photographer (site2) ~ Wellington Wedding Photographer (site3) Read all my FAQs (wedding, printing, lighting, books, etc)

7th of February 2006 (Tue)	#15
SR071 Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Melbourne Australia Posts: 275	Re: How do I say No?? Just make sure you get the nod from the official 1st photographer. Nothing worse than 2 togs snapping at each other. This happened during a recent wedding where my partner was kicked out of a public park because the official photog got distraced by the shutter on her 20D. She left quietly, but was fuming - and the couple were upset by it as they had specifically asked my partner to be there....... __________________ Matt 20D YAY! My first real* digital camera. 5DIII 1Dx and 1Dx and 1DIV And all the heavy glass...Plus a flash or seven...

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