I'm not exactly sure how I should feel about this...

[sorashell]

but I need to vent and I need for people to understand what I'm venting about, so you're it.

I have a friend...a very dear friend that me and my husband have known for quite some time. He's getting married next September and is kind of known as....ummm...frugal, to put it nicely. Anyways, he wanted me to do his wedding invitations after seeing the invitations I did for my in-law's 40th anniversary party, and while I was flattered, I declined because I've never done wedding invitations, I have no training, I'm pretty much of an amatuer when it comes to graphic arts (even though I'm learning quite alot) and honestly the responsibility at this time in my "career" was a bit much. I thanked him for thinking of me and declined. Well, I got an email from him and blah-blah-blah, how would I like to be their wedding photographer? Mind you, my husband and daugher are in the wedding and I'll be solely responsible for mky 2 year old boy (if we bring him). I imagine that he believes that I'll do it for free (or next to nothing) otherwise he'd be hiring an actual, professional, bona fide wedding photographer, right? Anyways, I'm going to decline but I'm kind of miffed at him even asking me. I guess he doesn't realize how much there is to doing this, the time it takes, the equipement, the professionalism... I'm flattered that he thinks I'm good enough to do this (or will be by September) but kind of put out that he wants to go the cheap way on something so important.

Maybe I'll gratefully accept his kind offer and tell him I'll cut him a deal and only charge $2,000....

Dammit, where's my halo

[CyberPet]

I was asked to shoot my husband's cousin's wedding next year and I accepted. Mostly because they said "We'll pay you in full", as if they would hire any wedding photographer. Of course I'll give them some type of discount, but hopefully part of our trip will be paid as we'll be flying out to Canada from Sweden to attend to the wedding.

[sorashell]

See, that's just it... I'd be totally flattered if he said "and of course we'll pay you the going rate." or "Of course your travel expenses will be coverd and we'd like to give you something for the effort." but his implication was "nod, nod, wink, wink, maybe you can be our wedding photographer since you seem to know your way around a camera."

[CyberPet]

Yeah, that's kind of rude, sure doesn't give you any room for suprprises, like "hey, this album is free, your wedding gift". I mean I'm sure hubby's cousin was hoping for some type of discount, but it was worded so nicely that it felt natural to say that they'll get a great discount since they're family.

[tim]

I would decline, politely, unless he really is so poor he can't afford a professional. In that case you will have to charge him enough to cover purchase or hire of equipment you'll need (backup body, backup lens, flashes). Although if it's a once off your 350D with a rented 580EX and the 28-75 will do a good enough job - I know I wouldn't like to be without any of my lenses for a wedding, even though I could do a whole wedding with the 28-75.

[PIXI_666]

Hmmm...i understand what your saying, and id be offended too, the way that friends and family have asked me it was almost like they were helping me, id never done weddings before so the experience has REALLY helped me out!

And id only charge for what i used, and never end up with anything in my hand at the end of the day, but they have given me something as a thank you ($100 gift voucher etc.) to help me out and say thanks, im only too happy to help and get experience - so i see this in a different light.

Where as if i had been doing weddings for years, and people expect me to charge less then yes id be a bit angry! I have decided after this year, i have my rates and for famiyl ill give 25% discount.

Del

[cdifoto]

I would have him sign a contract saying that you make no promises on the end result and then do it for the experience. If you screw up, who cares. He isn't paying you so he has no room to b*tch. With the contract alleviating you of any obligations, you wouldn't have anything to worry about.

Charge him only if you need to rent or buy any backup equipment and for the actual costs of delivery...IE prints (ink, paper), CD (CD-R, ink to label it), etc.

[MALI]

Originally Posted by CyberPet

I was asked to shoot my husband's cousin's wedding next year and I accepted. Mostly because they said "We'll pay you in full", ......Of course I'll give them some type of discount....

Have you ever thought why between friends it is always the friend who gets the money needs to make a friendly gesture and give discounts and never the other way around? I mean, why don't they come up and say I'll pay you a thousand more because you are my friend?

MALI

[Rich Brown Photography]

LOL that would be sweet wouldnt it. Im in a similar situation but different as well because im sure im far less experienced being 18 and all. My cousin is getting married and my aunt asked me to shoot their reception (they have a proffesional for group shots ect. but no one for their reception) They want to pay me but it is not much...$100. This does not exactly cover my time for shooting, post processing and expenses...I would hate to ask for more but to do a good job my equipment is really lacking. I think i will give them a cd with the images and let them print them accordingly so i dont really have to worry about that part of it. All i have for equipment is my 20d and 18-200mm and 1GB card to do the job but no flash and probably not enough memory...Should i throw part of that into my expenses and ask for more, stick with the equipment ive got or get the stuff and use this opportunity simply as experience. Any advice or thought would be great.

[cdifoto]

I'm thinking about buying a really cheap point and shoot with only a direct flash and no manual controls for the times my family asks for photographic favors.

[PIXI_666]

All in all...im sure that if a family member or friend had "Perks" i would also see if they could do me a cheaper rate...for example my mum works in a jewellers and she is allowd to give me 20% discount, i have an uncle who is a mechanic who does work for us for free, it's all part and parcel, but if you stick to your guns and say "Ill shoot your wedding, but it will cost me a lot of money to do it, here are my prices, ill give you 20-40% off that."

And then make $$$ off your prints...i find friends and family to be the most important thing in my life, i am only willing to help them out...but i do the full price and take off 25% for them now, if its a brother or sister or best friend etc. fine thats my gift to them, but if its a friend or family member im not 100% close to then ill do my standard rate with percentage taken off - maybe throw in the proof book as their gift?

Do people understand what im saying? lol

[cdifoto]

I did my cousin's wedding for free. But I only provided her with 16 prints of various sizes...4 8x10s and the rest 5x7s and 4x6s. That way it didn't break the bank.

[PIXI_666]

with 29c prints i just get them all printed in 4x6" and put them in a proof book...200 photo's and then the rest on CD (Which i usually put reception ones in) all the important shots are in the proof book and candids of guests etc. on CD.
Ends up being about $60 + $40 for book, almost $100 which is what i would spend on a wedding gift anyway. My TIME yes i don't get paid for but im quite happy to do it if its a really close person to me.
Although...i dont get to see much of the wedding because im so busy...thats a down side...

My best friends have all told me im their bridesmaid when their day comes so im not allowed to photograph their weddings haha and i wouldn't want too either - id rather enjoy their weddings, my brother's was a different wedding so either way i was happy - was very active and different! And better than nothing (THEY WERE going to run away to Las Vegas and be married at the ELVIS CHAPEL hahaha)

Del

[Emjay]

Well people will be people ... to some, the only stupid question is the unasked one ... so he asked, just in case there was a possibility you'd say yes. But really, you were already an invited guest, so he shouldn't really have asked you to shoot ... the ultimate power lay with you in declining ... that should have sent a message loud and clear! I've shot several weddings, and been a guest at some of them too ... and believe me, even though i've thrown myself in 150%, i ended up being the absentee guest, and the absentee wife for my husband sitting there at the table by himself most of the night .... and most amounts of money 'friends' will offer you, can justify that sort of inconvenience. So, rule of thumb ... unless someone in the future offers that $2000.00 ... not worth your trouble. Just go to the wedding and enjoy yourself and watch the how the alternate photographer works, in case you can pick up any tips ... i've done just that!

[TeeJay]

I think the "problem" here is mostly one of ignorance. (not in the personal sense) People (especially family friends type people) just don't realise how much time and effort goes into this type of shoot (or most type of shoots for that matter) They just assume that you turn up, point the camera, "click", and your done - thank you very much - where's my prints?!

What they cannot comprehend is the time (and effort) spent in planning - maybe a pre-visit to the location, getting there early, staying late - and the time spent on image selection and post processing doesn't bear thinking about!

I did some work on an image for my son last week. He had a basic image and wanted to use it for a DVD cover, with some changes, text added, etc. He was shocked when I told him, on "delivering" the finished article, that it had taken me 3 1/2 hours to complete! (I think he had thought it was a 15 minute job)

Also, is it me, or do you find that you HAVE to do an even better job if it's for family or a friend? I'm not saying that we would ever want to do a less-than-perfect job for any client, but if the person is "known" to us it just seems to add to the pressure.

Maybe family members think you will be embarrased if they offer money for such favours?

Note to family: I wont, so offer away!

TJ