Great starting point.
Personally, I think that 90% of the population looks best from waist up.
Your image looks around 50mm.
I would back up and zoom in, and look for some money portrait shots in the 85mm-200mm range, around F4.
This gives you nice bokeh, less distracting backgrounds, fewer legs to work with, and generally has a more "pro" look compared to your sample.
Also, looks like you had fill flash (??). I would try to avoid that next time. Put your clients in open shade, with a leafy background that has a touch of rim lighting on leaves. Fill flash if you want, but for a first timer, keep things simple!
That being said, well done for a 1st shoot.