Zillion posts of the baby photographer joke, tripod joke, Canon joke - Page 2

DieselGirl · 28th of March 2005 (Mon)

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in..
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith...

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly?

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh ! my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief...

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed! on your um...equipment ?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.

Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

CoolToolGuy · 28th of March 2005 (Mon)

In the film days, there was room in there for a line about Rapid Fixer with Hardener!

Have Fun,

tim · 28th of March 2005 (Mon)

Great joke!

Belmondo · 28th of March 2005 (Mon)

A classic.

TammieO · 28th of March 2005 (Mon)

Too funny!

down_shift13 · 28th of March 2005 (Mon)

just what i need today! funny!

psk4363 · 29th of March 2005 (Tue)

PMSL

Barry

Ikinaa · 29th of March 2005 (Tue)

Posted about a year ago here

But it's a good joke anyway...

I hope that there are more than one photographer jokes

sGu · 29th of March 2005 (Tue)

Brilliant!

rpcm · 29th of March 2005 (Tue)

Yes I like that one

OviV · 21st of April 2005 (Thu)

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......"

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in." "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of

babies.

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too ....you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we

try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in

and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his

baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their

mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing

to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your um...equipment ?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work"

"Tripod??

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.

Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

Citizensmith · 21st of April 2005 (Thu)

It must be at least 3 weeks since anyone posted this joke.

Wazza · 22nd of April 2005 (Fri)

LOL, haven't seen that one before.

Citizensmith · 22nd of April 2005 (Fri)

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/...ad.php?t=64734

Spot on, 3 weeks ago.

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/...ad.php?t=26235

http://photography-on-the.net/forum/...ad.php?t=24548

And about a year ago.

Its not that I don't appreciate the effort of posting the joke, I just wish it was one I hadn't read here so shortly ago.

Michaelmjc · 23rd of April 2005 (Sat)

haha, thats great! Thanks for sharing.

28th of March 2005 (Mon)	#16
DieselGirl Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 270	Photographer Joke The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!" "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, my, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith... "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly? The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus." "Oh ! my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief... "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed! on your um...equipment ?" "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod?? "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

28th of March 2005 (Mon)	#17
CoolToolGuy Boosting Ruler Sales Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Maryland, USA Posts: 4,165	Re: Photographer Joke In the film days, there was room in there for a line about Rapid Fixer with Hardener! Have Fun, __________________ Rick My Gear list

28th of March 2005 (Mon)	#18
tim Light Bringer Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Wellington, New Zealand Posts: 48,038 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: Photographer Joke Great joke! __________________ NZIPP Qualified Professional wedding photographer. Camera and Lens Reviews ~ Wellington Wedding Photographer Wellington Wedding Photographer (site2) ~ Wellington Wedding Photographer (site3) Read all my FAQs (wedding, printing, lighting, books, etc)

28th of March 2005 (Mon)	#19
Belmondo Admin Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: 92210 Posts: 42,710 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: Photographer Joke A classic. __________________ I'm not short. I'm concentrated awesome!

28th of March 2005 (Mon)	#20
TammieO Goldmember Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Chandler, AZ Posts: 2,020 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: Photographer Joke Too funny! __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tammie 1DMkII

28th of March 2005 (Mon)	#21
down_shift13 Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: carson, ca Posts: 80	Re: Photographer Joke just what i need today! funny! __________________ Eugene Canon D30 Tamron 28-75 XR Di

29th of March 2005 (Tue)	#22
psk4363 Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bolton, UK Posts: 720	Re: Photographer Joke PMSL Barry __________________ A little G9

29th of March 2005 (Tue)	#23
Ikinaa Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Luxembourg Posts: 1,517	Re: Photographer Joke Posted about a year ago here But it's a good joke anyway... I hope that there are more than one photographer jokes __________________ www.ikinaa.net

29th of March 2005 (Tue)	#24
sGu Goldmember Join Date: May 2004 Location: London, UK Posts: 2,363	Re: Photographer Joke Brilliant! __________________ Portfolio \| Musing Advertising & Editorial Photographer

29th of March 2005 (Tue)	#25
rpcm Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Devon, UK where if you can see Dartmoor it is going to rain and if you can't it is Posts: 46 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: Photographer Joke Yes I like that one __________________ ....Richard

21st of April 2005 (Thu)	#26
OviV Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 1,113 IMAGE EDITING OK	Photographer JOTD The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon". Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......" "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in." "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies. "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too ....you can really spread out!" "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, my, that's a lot of ..!" gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus." "Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your um...equipment ?" "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work" "Tripod?? "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!! __________________ 5D, 40D, Sigma 12-24mm f/4.5-5.6 EX, Sigma 15MM Fisheye,17-40 L, 24-105 L, 50 1.8, Tamron 28-75 2.8, Sigma 70-200 2.8, 70-300mm f/4-5.6 IS, 100-400 L, 300 F4 L, 580 ex, Sigma 500 Super DG Flash x 2, too much other stuff to list.

21st of April 2005 (Thu)	#27
Citizensmith Cream of the Crop Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sacramento, CA USA Posts: 6,376 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: Photographer JOTD It must be at least 3 weeks since anyone posted this joke. __________________ My POTN Gallery, Complete gear list, POTN members who aren't a Turing test "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities" - Voltaire Tradition - Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.

22nd of April 2005 (Fri)	#28
Wazza Cream of the Crop Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Waitakere, New Zealand Posts: 10,623	Re: Photographer JOTD LOL, haven't seen that one before. __________________ New Zealand Photography Tours \| Williams Photography - Auckland Photographers Auckland Wedding Photographer \| Auckland Photography Studio \| Queenstown Photographer Facebook - Williams Photography & Makeup\| Gear

22nd of April 2005 (Fri)	#29
Citizensmith Cream of the Crop Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sacramento, CA USA Posts: 6,376 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: Photographer JOTD http://photography-on-the.net/forum/...ad.php?t=64734 Spot on, 3 weeks ago. http://photography-on-the.net/forum/...ad.php?t=26235 http://photography-on-the.net/forum/...ad.php?t=24548 And about a year ago. Its not that I don't appreciate the effort of posting the joke, I just wish it was one I hadn't read here so shortly ago. __________________ My POTN Gallery, Complete gear list, POTN members who aren't a Turing test "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities" - Voltaire Tradition - Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.

23rd of April 2005 (Sat)	#30
Michaelmjc not cool enough Join Date: May 2004 Location: Toronto, Ontario Posts: 4,831 IMAGE EDITING OK	Re: Photographer JOTD haha, thats great! Thanks for sharing.

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