Does not liked to be photographed

[dragnfly1996]

I was booking a wedding today and the bride and groom told me that there may be an issue with the groom's mother. She has said upfront that she hate's being photographed and they asked that I be sensative to her request and yet they hoped we could coax her into some formal shots. I said of course, of course but does anyone have any advice on special ways to handle this sort of guest. Especially since she is part of the immediate family and I know the B&G want her in the pictures?? Should I avoid taking her picture cadidly and just wait for the formals or just shoot like I am part of the background (as I usually do) and just act like the furnature when I am around her, hoping she forgets I am there? Or do I risk offending her if I don't "avoid" taking her picture Thoughts??

[_Jo_]

I had one of those...and I found it easiest to tell her to look at the bride/groom. She smiled then. But there was no way she was going to smile looking directly at the camera. It was shame as she gave the bride away...so big smiles from the bride but none from the mother

[tim]

Not your problem, leave it to the B&G. I wouldn't take photos of someone who hates being photographed without a request from the B&G, and I might talk to them first.

[jessiper]

So, they want you to respect her wishes, but at the same time try and coax her into getting some pics taken? Sounds like a double standard. You could ask them to speak with her, have them to ask her if she could just take 1or 2 pics with them. Or, you could just wait and politely ask her to take just a couple pictures with them. If not, then just try and get candids of her. Good luck!

[_Jo_]

PS - If she chooses not to have her picture taken, it is not up to you to try and coax her into it and would be unethical to do so. Good luck getting that smile!

[Eoseni]

A way of motivating her might be indirectly. Don't address her at all, but say to the group generally, "OK, John and Jane would love this in their album for posterity - give me your best side and your winning smiles...BEAUTIFUL!"
Once, I did this..."I'm gonna count to three...one, CLICK, two, three. By that point everyone burst out in laughter, then I took the REAL shot.

[LeesaB]

I had a father of the groom once...WOULD NOT SMILE...I joked with him a bit, tried to loosen him up..but he was determined...so, I waited till the reception, found one with him...smirking, kind of, and took it. I agree with Tim, not your problem...do the best you can and count it all knowledge.

[samnz]

I always use my assistant (wife). I direct everyone to look at her. She'll do what she does best (talks - SLAP! ) Acting as a distraction for about 15-20secs. These make amazing portraits. You can move anywhere you want - as long as the focus is on the assistant. Don't sweat yourself trying to sneak candid smile pics here and there of her - you might as well spend the effort on more receptive subjects, and if there aint enough photos of her in the album - not your fault.

[turaund1]

i would try and get her in the formals and leave her alone the rest of the night

[davidfig]

Originally Posted by tim

Not your problem, leave it to the B&G. I wouldn't take photos of someone who hates being photographed without a request from the B&G, and I might talk to them first.

I'm mostly with Tim. My mother in law hates to be photographed. She always does this wierd smile, and angle of her head. But you could get her when she's not aware.

[PIXI_666]

Ask her to be apart of the formals...more likely she will say yes! And then try to avoid the candids...maybe 1 or 2 if she cries! (That sounds terrible but usually the mums cry lol)

[mizuno]

Respect her wishes, stay out of her face and try to grab some candids of her unobtrusively.