Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

philwillmedia wrote in post #11466796
I found this...
http://www.cmt.com …he-redneck-reindeer.jhtml

Thanks...I think.

Jon wrote in post #11466099
Don't know whether to run that in a loop for the office Christmas party or hope they block Youtube before then. I'm inclined to think the latter.

Jon if you would like I could make a list of some other rather non traditional Christmas music which you could add to "Leroy the Rednecked Raindeer" for your office party.

Wayne

Since the topic of Non Traditional Christmas Music has been brought up:

Christmas at Ground Zero

As long as nobody posts a link to Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer... Or the Dog Song...

"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" is a classic....

But I shall resist for now


Wayne

philwillmedia wrote in post #11466796
I found this...
http://www.cmt.com …he-redneck-reindeer.jhtml

Jon wrote in post #11466099
Don't know whether to run that in a loop for the office Christmas party or hope they block Youtube before then. I'm inclined to think the latter.

I think it really depends on whether you wish to be employed after Xmas.

As for Xmas at Ground zero - there really isnt a lot to be said to that other than can I have my 3 minutes back?

A friend of mine takes Viagra.
One got stuck in his throat a couple of weeks ago.
He's still got a stiff neck.

I had a look at this today - www.conjuctivitis.com
It's a site for sore eyes.

If you have a snowball in each hand ,what have you got?
.
.
.
.
.
A snowmans undivided attention!

Happy Christmas

While walking in the cemetery the other day I saw four guys carrying a coffin round and round.

1 hour later I saw the same guys still carrying the same coffin and I thought to myself...............T​hey have lost the bloody plot!

OK, so I posted this last year, and the year before, and the year before that. At this point, I feel like it is becoming a tradition. And besides, for the benefit of those who haven't been here that long! Welcome new members, and a festive season, regardless of how (or if at all) you celebrate it!

Rad


When Santa went to harness the reindeer, he found that one of them was about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.

More stress.

See, earlier that day, when he began to load the sleigh one of the sideboards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. That took a half hour to pick up. And, of course, one rolled directly under the sleigh and in trying to reach it - rrrrrripppp - he split the seam on his trousers.

Now the reindeer - with three of eight out of commission that is going to add hours onto an already tardy trip.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

A Christmas Story...

A man in Scotland calls his son in the US, the day before Christmas Eve
and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you your mother and I
are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".

"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says.
"We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call
your sister in Australia and tell her".

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone,
"Like hell they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my
brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing,
DO YOU HEAR ME?"and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Done! They're coming
for Christmas - and they're paying their own way."

^ ohhh boyy. Hahahaha.

LONDON LAWYER V GLASGOW COP

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!
Glasgow cop says, ' Licence and registration, please.'
London Lawyer says, 'What for?'
Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'
London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'
Glasgow cop says, 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.'
London lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!'
London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'
Glasgow cop says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living daylights out of the lawyer and says 'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHuey​LouieDeweyDonaldGoofyS​acramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.