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FORUMS Photography Talk by Genre Weddings & Other Family Events Talk 
Thread started 31 May 2011 (Tuesday) 20:46
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My Dads Taking My Wedding Photos - Should I Reconsider?

 
erinavery
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Jun 02, 2011 10:20 |  #31

ask him to take some engagement pictures for you...tell him you want him to be able to take his time and not be rushed. you want him to be able to enjoy the wedding and not stress out over such a huge responsibility.


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Jun 02, 2011 10:30 |  #32

Apart from the photographic objections, the groom's father has a key role in the wedding. Being the photographer puts him in direct conflict. I must assume that you and your father haven't been to too many weddings. Otherwise, the thought of asking him to be your photographer, or his agreeing, would never have occurred to you. Women generally have a better sense about this. Did you ask your bride-to-be what she thought of the idea? Or the respective mothers? If you haven't, then there's your key to backing out of the arrangement. Once they hear the idea, I think there will be a quick and unrecoverable smack down.


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Jun 02, 2011 10:39 |  #33

tkbslc wrote in post #12522233 (external link)
I dunno, It depends how important professional looking photos are to you and your wife. If you just want a record of the day, Dad can do it. Honestly, for plenty of people this is fine. If you want photos to print 16x24 and hang over the fireplace, then hire someone.

I will say that as a Dad, I would rather be able to enjoy my child's big day rather than be stressed out over a big photo job. I actually could do a pretty good job shooting my kids' weddings, but I won't do it. At this point, I think you are kind of stuck with what your dad wants to do. Since you already kind of asked him, telling him you hired someone else is likely to hurt his feelings. I would go back and tell him you realized how rude it was to assume he would take photos of the wedding rather than be able to enjoy the day with family and you are more than willing to hire a professional if he wants. But then it is kind of up to him.

I would not do it either. We have close friends at the lake and watched her daughter grow up. They sold several years go. Their daughter called me last spring and said she could not find a photographer. If she is anything like her dad she meant she could not find an inexpensive photographer :) I took it on to gain experience with all the you get what you pay for warnings. I had a second shooter for the ceremony, formals and fun shots.

I can tell you a whole boat load of the cottage crew were there. Others who sold and I had seen for years. I spent almost no time with my wife or them. I started to enjoy myself at about 10:30 when all those old farts started leaving.


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CanonGrl01
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Jun 02, 2011 11:04 |  #34

erinavery wrote in post #12522288 (external link)
ask him to take some engagement pictures for you...tell him you want him to be able to take his time and not be rushed. you want him to be able to enjoy the wedding and not stress out over such a huge responsibility.

This is a great idea


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luciddreamer
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Jun 02, 2011 11:12 |  #35

Has it occurred to you that maybe your dad would be happy to get out of doing this?


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erinavery
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Jun 02, 2011 11:48 |  #36

he could even take 30 min to do some formals of the wedding party...but really being responsible to document the whole thing would just be too much for him.


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Iancentric
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Jun 02, 2011 12:08 |  #37

If telling him no is going to hurt his feelings, just cancel the wedding. You can always find a new wife. But you can't replace your Dad.

Or

Go for it, you can always hire a pro for the next wedding...

(just feeding the troll,nobody is this stupid)


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suecassidy
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Jun 02, 2011 14:09 |  #38

That's a good point, Bobby, so I'd be interested in hearing from the OP on that perspective. he DID say, "As the artsy guy in my family its normally up to me to do the photography at all our family events but seeing as this one is all about me and future wife (our wedding) i obviously cant be the photographer." That certainly implies that he cares about the photography, but who knows. I have to iterate my other point though, and that is let's assume Dad is the best wedding photographer in the world. Should he be working the wedding instead of attending it as a guest? That is his call, I suppose, but I hope he doesn't regret it afterwards. I suspect the guests who want to visit with him at his son's wedding will just have to understand that he has a job to do that day, and isn't free to mingle, he's there to do a job. That is certainly nothing I would want from my dad, but it is really up to them.


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CanonGrl01
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Jun 02, 2011 14:25 |  #39

bnlearle wrote in post #12523337 (external link)
Anyone who thinks they care about photography -- and isn't prepared to spend at least a couple grand -- just doesn't really care about photography. Unless your budget for your wedding day is $1000 -- literally -- if you aren't spending a decent chunk of your budget on photography, you probably don't REALLY care, even if you think you do.

There's nothing wrong with people prioritizing photography at the top, in the middle, at the bottom, or not at all.

1. Not the op, but didn't take offense. That said...
2. The first paragraph is a gross exaggeration. To say unless your budget is 1k, you should be willing to spend a couple grand is ridonk (if your budget is 2k and you spend 50% on the photographer, photography isn't something you care about, it's something you obsess about (meh obsess may not be the right word). But I mean, why get a photographer if you're not going to have anything to photography? (Dress, reception, marriage license, etc.). Perhaps you meant to say 10k. The I can see spending 3k on a photog.
3. Completely agree.


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erinavery
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Jun 02, 2011 19:01 |  #40

bnlearle wrote in post #12523337 (external link)
I'm going to go against the grain here. I agree with everyone's advice, but I also know that some people just don't care (the way WE think people should care).

I mean NO offense here -- just trying to give advice...

Anyone who thinks that their dad can do it -- and he merely has an interest -- just doesn't care much about photography. Anyone who thinks they care about photography -- and isn't prepared to spend at least a couple grand -- just doesn't really care about photography. Unless your budget for your wedding day is $1000 -- literally -- if you aren't spending a decent chunk of your budget on photography, you probably don't REALLY care, even if you think you do.

To be honest, I bet if your dad shot it, you'd be just fine with the end result. I don't think you really care about photography as much as you think. Again, I mean NO offense by this. Honestly. There's nothing wrong with people prioritizing photography at the top, in the middle, at the bottom, or not at all.

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i completely agree with you actually. maybe the fact that dad took the photos will actually mean more to you than what the photos look like and that's perfectly fine...only you know which matters most to you.


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Jun 02, 2011 19:55 |  #41

bnlearle wrote in post #12525292 (external link)
Some photographers CAN TOTALLY shoot relatives' weddings AND still have a great time. I shot my brother's wedding -- and I had as much fun as if I were a normal guest. I shot one of my best friend's weddings and it was the same. Hardly work at all for me. Other people totally can't do it -- but most people, if honest with themselves, can figure out if they'll be able to enjoy themselves or if they'll feel like they're on the clock.

If your dad is the kind of guy that can have a great time AND you feel comfortable with him being the person who will be producing your wedding photographs, I say go for it :)

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Good point. I'm wondering how much experience comes into play. If someone has shot a lot of weddings, it is second nature - not worried about exposures/lighting, comp, herding and posing people I could see that. When you only have a few under your belt I think you don't have as much fun because you don't want to screw it up.


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philwillmedia
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Jun 02, 2011 20:08 |  #42

No...just NO!

This is not a disaster looking for somewhere to happen, it's found it.
Now, it's just waiting to happen.

Would you let your dad shoot somebody elses wedding?
If the answer to that is no, then why would you let him shoot yours?


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auroraskye
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Jun 03, 2011 08:16 |  #43

Budget matters aside, I agree with Bobby. My initial thought on reading the OP's post is that obviously he can't be a good photographer because he doesn't care about the quality of his wedding photos. I was just a hobby photographer when I hired my wedding photographer and she was 1/3rd of our budget and the most important thing to me. (Of course we got screwed but that's another story)..

If OP doesn't value the quality and doesn't care if he has snapshots or missed moments, then why not? I actually shot my brother's wedding in April and it was great. I did have a second shooter so I was in shots, and in the family formals. It was a small wedding and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Overall my gut says this is a horrible idea, but if the OP really doesn't give a crap about the quality of his photos, then why not?

bnlearle wrote in post #12523337 (external link)
I'm going to go against the grain here. I agree with everyone's advice, but I also know that some people just don't care (the way WE think people should care).

I mean NO offense here -- just trying to give advice...

Anyone who thinks that their dad can do it -- and he merely has an interest -- just doesn't care much about photography. Anyone who thinks they care about photography -- and isn't prepared to spend at least a couple grand -- just doesn't really care about photography. Unless your budget for your wedding day is $1000 -- literally -- if you aren't spending a decent chunk of your budget on photography, you probably don't REALLY care, even if you think you do.

To be honest, I bet if your dad shot it, you'd be just fine with the end result. I don't think you really care about photography as much as you think. Again, I mean NO offense by this. Honestly. There's nothing wrong with people prioritizing photography at the top, in the middle, at the bottom, or not at all.

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Come on the next one Dec 1st-14th 2011!!!!!


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canondslr
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Jun 14, 2011 20:36 |  #44

This past
january, I went overseas to attend my brother's wedding.
I hired a photographer and planned to do 2nd shooting myself for that photographer (btw, thats what I do here in the US for the last couple of years, 2nd shooting).
Guess what ? even as 2nd shooter, its kinda hard to managed, since I have to help family member, aunt A called, uncle D needs something, Mom asked for this and that, some friend keeps talking to me, and I also have to be in some of the pics, just hectic.
I was holding my camera and taking pics just for the first 30 mins, and thats it, I put it away, and I just enjoy the day. Pheewww....no more.... ( I ahve one more brother who'll get married maybe soon, this time for sure, I'll just gonna enjoy the day...
Seriously, dont do it.




  
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benesotor
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Jun 15, 2011 15:13 |  #45

I kinda agree with Bobby for most situations. Different people have different priorities... chances are if the OP was willing to let an absolute novice photograph his wedding day... he wouldn't be devastated to find he pictures aren't very good.

For my wedding, I know I'm going to spend a lot of time finding the photographer for us, whatever the cost.
But I personally wouldn't care whether the wedding cake was a £2000 master-piece or a £5 birthday cake from Tesco's, but I'm sure there are plenty of people who would cut a grand out of their photog budget so they can get a beautiful cake.

Skimping on pictures isn't the 'wrong' way to do it, it's just for people who aren't fussed.

However, one thing I will say despite that, is you still shouldn't get your dad to do it, because then he'll feel distracted and pressured on the day rather than enjoying a once-in-a-lifetime moment that no father wants to miss.




  
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