The last few weddings (really receptions) I have gone to seem to fall into two categories. The formal kind with DJ, sit down dinner, reserved seating arrangements, a schedule of events like the cake thing, garter thing, basically the stuff wedding planners put together and them our family weddings. Our family weddings are way less formal usually held in a local VFW and basically an excuse to get together, party, drink, and have fun. They are much less expensive than the formal ones but also a lot more fun. Very open ended and uncoordinated and stuff happens by group consensus like Uncle Bill shouts out "When are you gonna cut the cake, I want desert" and others either tell him to shush or join is and we cut the cake. Seating is wherever you wan depending on who you want to talk to. Music is usually one of the kids putting together a playlist on their MP3 or a local band who's friends with someone in the family. I have noticed that usually the family of the bride/groom coming into the family is always a bit put back (we tend to be really loud) but get a few drinks in them and they are assimilated and all have a great time.