Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

Yeah, it's just a waste of space at this point.

Bend The Light wrote in post #15766691
That is a classic episode. Those scenes filmed in my home town, of course.

That is one of my favorite episodes, and that's saying a lot because there so many good ones to choose from. But my favorite episode is http://www.youtube.com​/watch?v=lFF2bkiHNVQ mainly because it was filmed in my home town.

Excellent!!

neil_r wrote in post #15764205
Angela Merkel went to France to check up on how the finances were doing, when she got to Orley Airport she was met by a very officious immigration officer who had no love for the Germans, the conversation went like this :

Name?
Angela Merkel

Age?
57

Occupation?
No just a visit.

neil_r wrote in post #15764205
Angela Merkel went to France to check up on how the finances were doing, when she got to Orley Airport she was met by a very officious immigration officer who had no love for the Germans, the conversation went like this :

Name?
Angela Merkel

Age?
57

Occupation?
No just a visit.

This is worth a watch (again!)

http://youtu.be/7xnNhz​gcWTk

A Priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee, and talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment to them that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment.
They would all go up into the Smokies, find a bear, preach to it, attempt to convert it, and compare their success stories.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear, and when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. "Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me, and began to slap me around. "So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled some on him, and Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.
"The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion, and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.
He was in a wheelchair, with both legs and an arm in casts, and an IV drip in the other arm.
In his best fire and brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that WE don't sprinkle! "I went out, and I FOUND me a bear, and then I began to read to that bear from God's HOLY WORD!" But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. "So I took HOLD of him, and we began to wrestle. "We wrestled down one hill, UP another, and DOWN again until we came to a creek.
"So right quick-like, I DUNKED him, and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. "And just like you said, Father Flannery, he became as gentle as a lamb. "We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast, harnessed for traction, and had IV tubes and monitor hook-ups running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looked up at them, and said, "Reflecting back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start!"

Oy vey!

Have some mercy guys ! Don't shoot the messenger.

Ricardo222 wrote in post #15767344
Tiberius, you have my permission to take that John123 outside and shoot himm. We call that a "shaggy dog" story....and I don't think I've ever heard a worse one!

john123 wrote in post #15769040
Have some mercy guys ! Don't shoot the messenger.

Okay then, not this time! But.....!!

john123 wrote in post #15769040
Have some mercy guys ! Don't shoot the messenger.

Why not? There's good historical precedence for doing so. Besides, it's fun!

Two somewhat funny photography related jokes...

and one more for good measure...

^^Or..."Lets go find a fix!"

^^^ and playin' on the jukebox:

"Oh, but if you feel like loving me
If you got the notion
I second that emulsion"

High School Sweethearts

Two high school sweethearts had been dating for four years, they had enjoyed losing their virginity together, and they were inseparable until they graduated.

They had planned on going to college together, but he was accepted to a school on the west coast, and she was accepted to a school on the east coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to spend anytime they could together.

As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return his letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him that she wanted to date around.

He didn't take this very well, so he increased the number of phone calls, letters and e-mails in an attempt to save their relationship.

She became very annoyed with this when she started seeing a new fellow, and she wanted to get the old boyfriend off her back, so she took a polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone!"

Needless to say, he was heartbroken, and very pissed off. So,... he wrote a note on the back of her photo:

"Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm having a great time at college.
Please send more money!"

...and then mailed the picture to her parents.

Satan

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes*up*early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!!* Everyone starts screaming and* running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.

Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.

Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"

The man says, "Yep, I sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"

The man says, "Nope, I sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, asks, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."