photo sharing "obligation"

Hi everyone, just hoping together some input and thoughts on something that has started to bother me and my wife. We recently had a son, he is now 10 weeks old. His grandparents are for obvious reasons wanting every photo we take of him. It is starting to bother us because we put in the work to take the photos and everyone else gets the benifit equally as much as we do. I don't mind sharing or giving photos as gifts but there is something about having your favorite photos on our own walls and not everybodies. Is this normal? Valid? Should we just get over it and give away every photo we take or get. We also had professional photos done. We paid good money for the pictures so it almost seems wrong to give away a copy to everybody that wants one. This would be a hard thing to explain to people who have no interest in photography and have a different frame of mind.

If you have certain photos that you don't want others to have, then you have the right to keep them for yourself. It makes sense that a photo may have a special value to you and by more people having it the value may be diminished to you. I think I would be a bit annoyed myself if family members were constantly demanding every picture I took. You may just have to tell them to stop asking and that you will send some pictures periodically. As far as the photos you paid to have done, you can tell people that you do not have any print rights to them so they will stop asking :P.

chrisgerman1983 wrote in post #15969040
Hi everyone, just hoping together some input and thoughts on something that has started to bother me and my wife. We recently had a son, he is now 10 weeks old. His grandparents are for obvious reasons wanting every photo we take of him. It is starting to bother us because we put in the work to take the photos and everyone else gets the benifit equally as much as we do. I don't mind sharing or giving photos as gifts but there is something about having your favorite photos on our own walls and not everybodies. Is this normal? Valid? Should we just get over it and give away every photo we take or get. We also had professional photos done. We paid good money for the pictures so it almost seems wrong to give away a copy to everybody that wants one. This would be a hard thing to explain to people who have no interest in photography and have a different frame of mind.

yes, I think you should "just get over it". I freely distribute family photos to other family members. In fact I feel better when they put my photos on their "digital" wall.

chrisgerman1983 wrote in post #15969040
Hi everyone, just hoping together some input and thoughts on something that has started to bother me and my wife. We recently had a son, he is now 10 weeks old. His grandparents are for obvious reasons wanting every photo we take of him. It is starting to bother us because we put in the work to take the photos and everyone else gets the benifit equally as much as we do. I don't mind sharing or giving photos as gifts but there is something about having your favorite photos on our own walls and not everybodies. Is this normal? Valid? Should we just get over it and give away every photo we take or get. We also had professional photos done. We paid good money for the pictures so it almost seems wrong to give away a copy to everybody that wants one. This would be a hard thing to explain to people who have no interest in photography and have a different frame of mind.

You wanna charge the grandparents for photos? I'm not sure where the problem is. No, it's not normal. I've never heard of someone who wants to withhold photos from grandparents because you paid good money for them. Yes, you should get over it. Wow.

Just upload the photos to a drug store site and let them view and print what they want. Simple!

Your specific question was "is this normal? is it valid?". I don't think it is "typical", I doubt that most people feel that way. Only you can decide if it's valid or not, I suppose. It is valid to you. Personally, I find your attitude baffling, but you are entitled to feel how you feel. I just find it weird.

I don't want charge them, I just don't like the way they feel it is there God given right to have every single photo. I would gladly frame pictures and give them as gifts. It is not like we don't want them to have any of the photos.

Well, this is coming from a grandparent who's also a photographer. My first question is how far away do the grandparents live? Is this the first grandchild? If they can't visit often seeing your photos may be the only way they have to see their grandchild. Our daughter's in-laws live in Finland so she startes a blog to share photos and information. In these circumstances I'd share. I'm sure you're taking a ton of photos so sharing some of them with your parents shouldn't be that big a deal. If they live close by, get them a point and shoot so they can take their own photos. Problem solved, hopefully.

Anybody I know who has kids pretty much takes photos of their kids because they want to share them with others. I have never before heard of anyone begrudging family members photos of their kids. Begrudging grandparents seems especially odd. Wanting to be the "only one" with certain favorite photos seems really strange to me, considering you are feeling that way about photos of your children. Note that I am not saying there is anything wrong with you having this attitude, I am simply saying that it seems strange to me, and that I have never encountered anyone who had this attitude before. Are you sure that there is not a wee bit of selfishness involved in these feelings you have about the photos?

Email full resolution copies of every photo to your parents, that way they can choose which ones they want to print, and the expense of printing would be on them. It only takes a minute or two to email dozens of full res photos - this would be a simple, effortless answer to your dilemma.

chrisgerman1983 wrote in post #15969412
I don't want charge them, I just don't like the way they feel it is there God given right to have every single photo. I would gladly frame pictures and give them as gifts. It is not like we don't want them to have any of the photos.

it may not be a "god given right" but if they are your parents then my thinking is almost all parents love sharing pics of their children with grandparents and many others including coworkers, friends, random strangers, etc !)
if you don't feel this way I would hazard a guess that something is wrong

chrisgerman1983 wrote in post #15969412
I don't want charge them, I just don't like the way they feel it is there God given right to have every single photo. I would gladly frame pictures and give them as gifts. It is not like we don't want them to have any of the photos.

It's their grandchild, of course they want every photo.

Haha I do show pictures to strangers. And I am not wanting to keep all the photos for myself forever. One set of grandparenrs are local and the other is 6 hours away. I have sent photos to the out of town and given copies on thumb drives to the local grandparents. I suppose there is more to the situation then just photos. There is a lot of entitlement in many other aspects of life as well. There is also the fact that niether of our parents took a single photo of us growing up, but now they all of a sudden want photos on their walls.

Your view sounds rather selfish with stating "work" to take the photos. Share them on facebook with family.

HappySnapper90 wrote in post #15969978
Your view sounds rather selfish with stating "work" to take the photos. Share them on facebook with family.

I can't help but wonder if you have ever taken photos of a newborn? Not so much work taking he photos but it is a fair bit of "work" on top of that finding time to process the cr2's with a newborn also turns into work.

get over it

I can't imagine they want "every" photo? Give them one of those electronic picture frames, there are some you can even update online and fill new photos on it for them periodically. I can't imagine they'd want boxes of photos or wallpaper the house, a nice e-frame with changing photos might delight them though.

As for the pro photos, I'd not let others just copy them, but would see those as a gift in a nice frame. Though I'd send those out now, not for xmas when the little one is twice the size already

Pictures are for sharing anyway, aren't they?