I thought it was very good but probably twice as long as it should have been. If you had brought Ray in earlier he could have talked over a lot of the footage which was starting to drag.
Some of the shots were a bit iffy focus wise and probably should have been left out and the jib work all became a little over powering after a bit.
You weren't really best placed for the big reveal and the first shots of the car unvield should have shown the car unobscured by its open boot/trunk.
You didn't really show Ray to his best. He came over as a bit stand offish. He might have been better in a more relaxed, open pose perhaps sitting on the edge of his desk. Putting him behind a desk puts a barrier between him and his customers which introduces a bad subliminal message.
The whole thing seemed a bit drab and could have benefited from zesting up a bit in post.
Finally, be very careful using the Porsche logo. As a former Director of Porsche Club GB I know that Porsche guard their intellectual property with Teutonic efficiency. Unless you have express permission to use the badge then don't. I used to get around that by filming the badge on things rather than use a logo graphic.