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FORUMS Photography Talk by Genre General Photography Talk 
Thread started 15 Aug 2013 (Thursday) 05:31
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Oh dear...Epic fail

Cream of the Crop
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Location: "...just south of the 23rd Paralell..."
Aug 15, 2013 05:31 |  #1

Hope there's no newbies using these tips …ps-tricks-for-photography (external link)

Regards, Phil
2019 South Australian Country Press Assoc Sports Photo of the Year - Runner Up
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"A bad day at the race track is better than a good day in the office"

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Jarvis ­ Creative ­ Studios
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Joined Aug 2013
Location: Johnson City, Tennessee
Aug 15, 2013 05:36 |  #2

25) If you upload the photos on internet, mail etc. use small sizes and take photos as JPEG.

Spoken like a true professional. Oh, and don't forget to "mop your camera" if it gets wet haha. Thanks for the laugh this morning.

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Joined Aug 2009
Location: Moscow
Aug 15, 2013 06:50 |  #3

1) The most important point of taking closer photos, is zooming to the eyes.

Dem sexy eyes.

2) Choosing the right lens is important! Some of your photos must be taken closer and some of them must be taken from a longer distance. For example; football games or animal photos should be taken from a long distance. You need a teleobjective for this...

OMG really? gon by a supa zum :cool:

3) Especially the background by taking human or portrait photos must be plain.

Plain like chocolate? I like chocolate.

4) Choosing the point of view must be correctly. Think about, how you want to show the topic. If you have a hard subject (buildings, fountains, etc.), mess around a little bit and try to find the best angle. Be careful about perspective mistakes. Try to improve different point of views. You don’t have to take the photo like from normal person's eye level; you can use high or low places to take the photo.

5) If you are taking speedy photos (like; races, football), your shutter speed must be least 1/500 s.

Ridge racer! Riiiiiidge racer! (gaming joke)

6) Using tripod to take photos gives you the chance to use the frame and high diaphragm well.

My diaphragm is already well.

7) It is useful to carry a small tripod.

You call that a tripod? Hrngg... THIS is a tripod!

8) When you take photos without tripod check the instantiation out. The instantiation value should be similar to the distance of the focus point of your lens (for 50mm > 1/60s, for 200mm > 1/250 s, for 300mm > 1/500).


9) Use parasol when you take photos at sunlight.

Use parachute when you take photos at skyfall.

10) When you take panoramic shots use your camera vertical, so you can take a lot photos and prevent perspective mistakes.

Remember to take some diagonal too!

11) The most unsuitable time to take photos, is at overhead sun (12:00-14:00).

We recommend you keep yourself entertained with photoshop in the meantime.

12) To take photos and use tripod at special places apply permission .

What kind of... "special places"? ;)

13) Don’t forget, that in dark environments the flash will be enough just for 3-4 m distance.

It's getting dark... better drink my own piss.

14) Check the wind speed out for flowers photos. Also check light out, because some flower photos can be pretty at backlight.

Also, check temperature, humidity, and the soil PH.

15) Back light, fog and smoke photos can attract attention.

From the fire department!

16) LCD screens at digital cameras use lots of battery. Shut down the LCD mode.

Remember carry more battery.

17) When you put and take off the memory cards be sure the camera is closed otherwise the photos can be deleted.

So do you put and take of the camera, or close the memory cards?

18) Read operating manual of photograph camera. It can have any special features you have not known yet.

Woah, better go read my 5D2 manual and hope it mentions that my camera actually has 14 stops DR, double the pixels, and autofocus that doesn't suck!

19) Carry some extra batteries for long trips.

I have my camel do that.

20) Topics shouldn't be at the middle of the frame. It looks better, if it is on top, bottom, left or right of the frame.

Thanks, I'll be sure to keep any Topics from being in the center of the frame. -


21) Check ISO and WB features out before you take photos.

And chimp after each shot to make sure the ISO and WB features you checked out check out!

22) Use RAW mode, if you have limited light.

22.4) Use RAW mode, if you have lots light.
22.5) Use RAW mode, if you have bad light.
22.7) Use RAW mode, if you have any light.

23) Carry your camera and objectives at water and dust proof bags.

And then fill the bags with rice and silica gel too, wouldn't want them to get moist and melt!

24) Storage the important photos at hard disc and backup also at DVDs.

Storage the important also at brain too.

25) If you upload the photos on internet, mail etc. use small sizes and take photos as JPEG.

You're an internet photographer and you should feel bad! go shoot your pleb jpegs...

26) Use rain cover for rainy days. If your camera gets wet, mop it immediately!

Dish detergent strongly recommended, remember to take lens off and clean inside too.

27) You have the opportunity, to use UV or Skylight as protective filters, so the camera is protected against scratch, dust, etc.

Safe and sound...

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Click the link (if available) below to see the image in a gallery page.

http://i418.photobucke​ …hisIsHey/RDC/IM​G-5692.jpg (external link)

28) This is the ultimate rule for image formation: split the picture into three equal horizontal and vertical strips. Bring in your designs at the parting lines of these thirds.

And once the image is on your PC, crop all that sh!t away to only those sexy eyes, as per rule #1.

29) You can use natural frames, for example, branches or trees, rocks and other ancillary subjects.

Just like your ancestors did!

30) The probably most used lens for portraits is a 80mm lens (on a full frame camera, or 50mm on a DSLR with a 1.6 crop factor).

There are 80mm lenses? :shock: Fuuuuuuu-

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I acquired an expensive camera so I can hang out in forums, annoy wedding photographers during formals and look down on P&S users... all the while telling people it's the photographer, not the camera.

Totally Saturated
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Aug 15, 2013 07:10 |  #4

Hahaha it has to be some kind of joke!! (external link) | My GEAR

59 posts
Joined Nov 2008
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Aug 15, 2013 08:59 as a reply to  @ monk3y's post |  #5

Taken from another language and used google translate??

Only thing i can think of!

Canon 60D : Sigma 18-35 1.8 : 55-250mm IS : 430ex II

Cream of the Crop
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Location: Middle of Michigan
Aug 15, 2013 09:12 |  #6

Some of your photos must be taken closer and some of them must be taken from a longer distance

I can't argue with that!

FrankC - 20D, RAW, Manual everything...
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Senior Member
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Location: New York City
Aug 15, 2013 09:19 |  #7

Kolor-Pikker, you made already laugh out loud material milk through the nose funny. Thanks!


Specializing in Theatrical Photography. See my work at:
www.alfoote3photograph​ (external link)​te3photography (external link)

Cream of the Crop
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Aug 15, 2013 15:00 |  #8

It looks like someone's plagiarizing Ken Rockwell.

1,112 posts
Joined Sep 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Aug 15, 2013 17:25 |  #9

For wildlife photography, the best pictures aren't made with expensive telephotos; they are made by carefully sneaking up on the animals. - Ken Rockwell

This guy must have taken Ken's advice seriously:​PHA90 (external link)

1,255 posts
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Joined Aug 2010
Location: Bay Area, CA
Aug 17, 2013 00:48 |  #10

The english was so bad I couldn't get past #4. But then I read Kolor-pikker's post and ended up reading the rest.

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Location: East Texas
Aug 17, 2013 12:01 |  #11

Seems to have lost something in the translation.


Cream of the Crop
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Location: NYC
Aug 17, 2013 21:45 |  #12
bannedPermanent ban

Strange English translation...topics? Moping? Teleobjective lens? What is this???

One Imaging Photography (external link) and my Flickr (external link)
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Senior Member
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Location: Tennessee
Aug 17, 2013 21:59 |  #13


Chopped liver
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Location: Just South of Ballard
Aug 17, 2013 22:18 |  #14

I want those two minutes of my life back.

Would you like to buy a vowel?
Go ahead, spin the wheel.
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I'm accross the canal just south of Ballard, the town Seattle usurped in 1907.

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Location: San Diego
Aug 18, 2013 00:35 |  #15

mike_d wrote in post #16210942 (external link)
It looks like someone's plagiarizing Ken Rockwell.


Canon 5D IV | 24-105 | 28-300 | 70-200 2.8 | 24 TS II

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Oh dear...Epic fail
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