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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
Roy ­ Mathers
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Oct 01, 2013 13:42 |  #6286

Excellent Chris! It's about the first one on here that I haven't heard before. Very funny!




  
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moose10101
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Oct 01, 2013 15:08 as a reply to  @ post 16299497 |  #6287

Two young boys are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room. One leans over and asks the other, "What are you in here for?"

The second boy says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first boy says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze."

The second boy then asks the first, "What about you?" The first one says, "A circumcision."

The second boy replies, "Whoa, good luck, I had that done when I was born... Couldn't walk for a year.




  
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casp3r
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Oct 02, 2013 05:51 |  #6288

A fella stood beside me at the bar he said "my mate fell of his motorbike".
I said "Really".
"Yup" he said " He has slight brain damage, 2 broken legs and a fractured collarbone"
I said " Fek me, no wonder he fell off it."


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Voaky999
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Oct 02, 2013 11:45 |  #6289

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he has a bright orange penis. The doctor takes a look and sure enough, the man's penis is bright orange.

The doctor asks the man about his daily habits to see if he could get a clue about the cause of the malady.

The man says "My day is pretty normal. I get up in the morning and go to work. My work is at a desk in an office so I don't come into contact with any strange chemicals. I come home after work, make myself dinner, watch a little TV then get ready for bed."

The doctor asks "Do you do anything before bed?"

The man says "Nothing unusual, I just eat cheetos and surf the web"


Don
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Jericobot
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Oct 02, 2013 15:19 |  #6290

that's brilliant, casp3r


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Roy ­ Mathers
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Oct 02, 2013 17:06 |  #6291

It probably works better if you know what Cheetos are, which I don't.




  
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Voaky999
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Oct 02, 2013 17:58 |  #6292

Roy Mathers wrote in post #16341705 (external link)
It probably works better if you know what Cheetos are, which I don't.

They are cheese flavoured salty crisp that are coated in orangy coloured stuff that rubs off on your fingers.

http://www.fritolay.co​m …eetos-crunchy-cheese.html (external link)


Don
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lehmanncpa
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Oct 02, 2013 19:57 |  #6293

Gives new meaning to Frito Lay.


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Unbalanced
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Oct 02, 2013 20:45 |  #6294

lehmanncpa wrote in post #16342023 (external link)
Gives new meaning to Frito Lay.

~Snicker~


The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe.
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krb
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Oct 02, 2013 21:58 |  #6295

Roy Mathers wrote in post #16341705 (external link)
It probably works better if you know what Cheetos are, which I don't.

Wotsits.


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Oct 05, 2013 05:03 as a reply to  @ krb's post |  #6296

Suddenly I hear that US Governments Shutdown can simply avoid by:

http://www.notechmagaz​ine.com …s-better-politicians.html (external link)

http://www.amazon.com …5&creativeASIN=​0345401026 (external link)
.


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sheawyatt
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Oct 07, 2013 00:51 |  #6297

^^ Cringe inducing. But it makes a good point...


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lehmanncpa
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Oct 08, 2013 16:26 |  #6298

Stole these from another forum. Thought they were funny.

An engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action.

The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things start to cool down quickly.

The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can now get from place to place more easily.

The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high-definition channels.

One day, God decides to look down on hell to see how his grand design is working out, and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying themselves. He asks the Devil what's up?

The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer."

"What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately."

The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep the engineer. We like him."

God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue you!"

The Devil laughs, "And where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

"The problem with quotes on the internet is that you cannot confirm their validity."

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Grumps ­ Photo
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Oct 09, 2013 21:26 as a reply to  @ lehmanncpa's post |  #6299

Father shark was swimming along with his son when they came upon a sinking cruise ship.

"We're going to have a great night! Lots of fun and plenty to eat, son" said the father shark. "We'll just wait around here for a bit". Sure enough, there were not enough life boats and plenty of humans were bobbing along in there life vests.

"First we're going to do what sharks do, and swim around these humans showing just one fin". So father and son cruise around the people just showing the one fin a few times.

"Next we're going to cruise around these humans and show all our fins". Again Father and son circle the bobbing humans a few times showing all their fins.

"Now we're going to go in a gorge ourselves on all these humans!" and father and son swim in and have a feast!

Later, while the two were laying about, overstuffed and drifting amongst the ruin of all these humans, the son asks his father "It was fun swimming around the humans showing our fins, but why didn't we just go ahead in and eat them?"

"Humans always taste better after you scare the **** out of them" replied the father.


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Oct 10, 2013 07:55 as a reply to  @ Grumps Photo's post |  #6300

"Humans always taste better after you scare the **** out of them" replied the father.

:lol::lol: Good one.


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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)
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