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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
Ricardo222
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Dec 01, 2013 16:17 |  #6376

Roy Mathers wrote in post #16493126 (external link)
Those quotations are, as you can imagine Richard, very well-known in this country! :-)

Yes, Roy, I knew you would know those quotes, and still enjoy them no doubt. I guess it is a tribute to both Winston and Lady A that their fame knows no bounds! Also, it illustrates that "clever" humour doesn't die, it just recycles as everything should! :cool:


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Roy ­ Mathers
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Dec 01, 2013 17:28 |  #6377

Too true!




  
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Tiberius
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Dec 02, 2013 03:47 |  #6378

Ricardo222 wrote in post #16492946 (external link)
^^Reminds me of that old classic...


Lady Astor (a longtime enemy of Winston Churchill)... "Mr Churchill, You are drunk!"

Winston Churchill... "Lady Astor, you are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober!"

My girlfriend sometimes tells me that she's not as dumb as she looks. She then says she couldn't possibly be. This isn't a joke, btw, but while we're on the topic of quotations...


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Roy ­ Mathers
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Dec 02, 2013 04:07 |  #6379

...is there a finish to that sentence?




  
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CameraMan
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Dec 02, 2013 08:30 |  #6380

2 homeless people are making out under an overpass. I open the window as I drive by and say,

'HEY, GET A BOX'!!!

:-)


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CameraMan
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Dec 02, 2013 08:36 |  #6381

Ricardo222 wrote in post #16492946 (external link)
^^Reminds me of that old classic...


Lady Astor (a longtime enemy of Winston Churchill)... "Mr Churchill, You are drunk!"

Winston Churchill... "Lady Astor, you are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober!"

Reminds me of a great Sopranos line between Paulie and Ralphie at a sit down with Tony...

PAULIE: (To Ralphie) You're late!
RALPHIE: Tomorrow I'll be early. You'll be stupid forever.


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Shampoo sounds like an unfortunate name for a hair product.
You're a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear Nothing!

  
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20droger
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Dec 02, 2013 11:28 |  #6382

Roy Mathers wrote in post #16494627 (external link)
...is there a finish to that sentence?

You probably don't really want to know the finish, Roy.




  
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BenLeaman
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Dec 02, 2013 21:34 as a reply to  @ 20droger's post |  #6383

Albert Einstein, Blaise Pascal, and Isaac Newton were playing hide-and-seek. Einstein counted to twenty and Pascal ran off, but Newton just drew a square in the ground around himself with a stick. Einstein turned around, saw Newton, and said, "I've found you!" Newton looked confused. "No," he said, "You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"


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20droger
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Dec 02, 2013 22:50 |  #6384

BenLeaman wrote in post #16496935 (external link)
Albert Einstein, Blaise Pascal, and Isaac Newton were playing hide-and-seek. Einstein counted to twenty and Pascal ran off, but Newton just drew a square in the ground around himself with a stick. Einstein turned around, saw Newton, and said, "I've found you!" Newton looked confused. "No," he said, "You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"

Excellent joke for the educated.




  
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neil_r
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Dec 05, 2013 03:57 |  #6385

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into
a taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his
eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt
to start the cab.

The woman glared back at him and said,
"What's wrong with you, honey? - Haven't you ever seen a naked
woman before?"

The old Jewish driver answered,
"Let me tell you sumsing, lady I vasn't staring at you like you
tink; det vould not be proper vair I come from."

The drunk woman giggled and responded,
"Well, if you're not staring at my boobs or ass sweetie, what
are you doing then?"

He paused a moment, then told her...
"Vell,M'am, I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking
to myself,'Vair in da hell is dis lady keeping
de money to pay for dis ride?


Neil - © NHR Photography
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20droger
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Dec 11, 2013 00:08 as a reply to  @ neil_r's post |  #6386

A precocious little brat was sitting on Santa's lap.

"Do you wear boxers or briefs?"
"Depends."




  
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Bend ­ The ­ Light
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Dec 11, 2013 12:21 |  #6387

20droger wrote in post #16517972 (external link)
A precocious little brat was sitting on Santa's lap.

"Do you wear boxers or briefs?"
"Depends."

I don't get it...:/




  
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Canajun
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Dec 11, 2013 12:34 |  #6388

Bend The Light wrote in post #16519098 (external link)
I don't get it...:/

http://www.depend.com/​mens-solutions (external link)


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neil_r
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Dec 11, 2013 13:49 |  #6389

A woman was on a crowded bus trying desperately to breast feed her baby but the baby was having non of it, he kept struggling and crying. In desperation she said to the child, "Oh come on and eat, or I will give your dinner to that nice man over there". It did no good the baby still refused to eat and continued to struggle and cry. After a few mor minutes she said again "Oh please come on and eat, or I will give your dinner to that nice man over there" again it made no difference the baby kicked and struggled and refused to eat, so for a third time she said "Oh come on and eat, or I will give your dinner to that nice man over there". At that point the man leaned over to the woman and said, "Do you think your baby could hurry up and make his mind up, I should have got off three stops ago"


Neil - © NHR Photography
Commercial Site (external link) - Video Site (external link) - Blog - (external link)Gear List There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs. ~ Ansel Adams

  
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Harm
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Dec 11, 2013 14:03 |  #6390

:lol::lol::lol:


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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)
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