Friends/Family who want free/low cost wedding photography

Stu Scully wrote in post #16835961
So I'm going to try to take a guess and see if I'm seeing this situation correctly...

I'm assuming you have a certain "style" with your photography that your family members like, and they are trying to parlay that into their wedding. Whereas you cannot parlay your style into a wedding photography format, especially at the "sweet" deal they are looking to get out of you playing the "family" card.

In this case, if you don't want to default to the often brash, but true, tactic of telling them the base truth (you don't do wedding photography) I'll suggest this.

Sit down and tell them that your work product for wedding photography will be much different than your normal style. And if they are willing to take a chance that they will like it then you can proceed to shoot and edit the photos however you feel best.

To use a sports analogy, it's similar to asking a veteran catcher to play center field. Sure he knows how to run, throw and catch just as any center fielder, but there are nuisances that the catcher just doesn't have mastered as a veteran center field does. But if the manager is willing to live with them, then "play ball!"

Love that analogy!

I was roped into a free wedding last year, it took a week to edit I worked my A$$ off.
I mostly shoot sports/landscapes..and now a bunch of the family wants copies of shots, more editing. My advice - don't walk, run away!!!
cheers Darrin

This just happened to me. I HATE weddings and have to shoot for a friend in May. I'm not looking forward to it, though she's not wanting anything special. Just some candids and some staged shots. Easy $1500 I guess? If you're worried, just give them a price like I did. $1500 isn't too high, or too low. It'll make it worth the time on your end, but may also push it out of the reach of the friend, helping you avoid shooting it.

Tell them that taking photos in a large crowd such as a wedding makes you extremely nervous so you will need to get blindly drunk to handle that. If they are ok with you doing that then go for it. OPEN BAR.

Recent conversation....

Sister-in-law: "Can you take photos at her baptism and the party after?"
Me: "Sure! Normally a day long event like that is $2,000 minimum, but I'll do it for you for $1,500."

......Her jaw just about dropped to the driveway, and she gave me a blank stare.

Sister-in-law: "Come on! We're family, you're going to be there already. Just bring your camera and take some pictures for free."
Me: "I like that car you're driving from the dealership. Let's go to the lot, have your brother draw up the paperwork and let me drive it home for free. We're already here in town." (My sister-in-law owns a car dealership, family run business)

Needless-to-say I did not get a free 2012 Ford Fusion. I knew what she was getting at by asking in the first place, and to be honest I have NO INTEREST in shooting it because I would rather enjoy the party with the family and not be stressed about working to get good images. Since I knew what she was expecting I gave her a price that I knew she would refuse. And if she surpised me and said OK, it would make it worth my time.

Sorry my friend, but it looks like you're stuck with the family wedding, by your own doing. The way I see it, you're all in or you're not. If you shoot it, shoot it well and process it well. Especially if you plan on using it in your portfolio. For the friends wedding, either tell them straight up NO (give reasons as stated in previous posts), or give them a quote you know they'll turn down but will still make it worth it to your business to shoot if they say OK.

rivas8409 wrote in post #16844108
Recent conversation....

Sister-in-law: "Can you take photos at her baptism and the party after?"
Me: "Sure! Normally a day long event like that is $2,000 minimum, but I'll do it for you for $1,500."

......Her jaw just about dropped to the driveway, and she gave me a blank stare.

Sister-in-law: "Come on! We're family, you're going to be there already. Just bring your camera and take some pictures for free."
Me: "I like that car you're driving from the dealership. Let's go to the lot, have your brother draw up the paperwork and let me drive it home for free. We're already here in town." (My sister-in-law owns a car dealership, family run business)

Needless-to-say I did not get a free 2012 Ford Fusion. I knew what she was getting at by asking in the first place, and to be honest I have NO INTEREST in shooting it because I would rather enjoy the party with the family and not be stressed about working to get good images. Since I knew what she was expecting I gave her a price that I knew she would refuse. And if she surpised me and said OK, it would make it worth my time.

Sorry my friend, but it looks like you're stuck with the family wedding, by your own doing. The way I see it, you're all in or you're not. If you shoot it, shoot it well and process it well. Especially if you plan on using it in your portfolio. For the friends wedding, either tell them straight up NO (give reasons as stated in previous posts), or give them a quote you know they'll turn down but will still make it worth it to your business to shoot if they say OK.

This. It reminds me of a friend of mine who is a pro 'tog (makes pretty much his entire living from it). Somebody asked him to work a wedding on a weekend he didn't really want to work so he quoted the guy a price that was three times his normal rate. Well, the guy didn't even blink, and just said (paraphrasing) "Great, be there at 10:00". Basically the guy made him an offer he couldn't refuse, so he didn't refuse it...

Why is it so hard for some people to say no? Friends and family ask me to do weddings and I say no, straight up and down. If they get pissed thats on them. No is a really easy word to say.

peeaanuut wrote in post #16844156
Why is it so hard for some people to say no? Friends and family ask me to do weddings and I say no, straight up and down. If they get pissed thats on them. No is a really easy word to say.

Totally agree! Say now to family and friends. Weddings are TONS of work and there is no way you should do this type of critical work for family or friends.....not fair to anyone. SAY NO TO PHOTOGRAPHING FAMILY AND FRIEND WEDDINGS.

stathunter wrote in post #16844165
SAY NO TO PHOTOGRAPHING FAMILY AND FRIEND WEDDINGS.

Generally speaking I would agree with that, but every photographer will have their own exceptions.

stathunter wrote in post #16844165
SAY NO TO PHOTOGRAPHING FAMILY AND FRIEND WEDDINGS.

I don't really agree with this. At least 10 of the weddings I have shot have been for friends/family.

scd wrote in post #16835153
. . . I feel like I can't say no as it would really affect our (future) relationship... but on the other hand I don't really want to do it . . .

Would you feel the same way if you were a plumber and they were asking you to wire the new addition? You might want to say "no" on the basis of wedding photography being a specialized activity that is only in some ways similar to the work you do.

If the relationships are so important and fragile that you must accept the gigs you might want to consider taking some only without compensation and with advance apologies. "This is not my usual work and may not turn out at all well compared with that of a good experienced wedding shooter."

Yeah, I do shoot photos for friends and family that others would probably charge them for, but a wedding? Uh, no.

Not even if you pay me; I've seen enough of Bridezilla when I'm a wedding guest.

archer1960 wrote in post #16844138
This. It reminds me of a friend of mine who is a pro 'tog (makes pretty much his entire living from it). Somebody asked him to work a wedding on a weekend he didn't really want to work so he quoted the guy a price that was three times his normal rate. Well, the guy didn't even blink, and just said (paraphrasing) "Great, be there at 10:00". Basically the guy made him an offer he couldn't refuse, so he didn't refuse it...

If someone showed up to your house tomorrow and offered you $10 Million for it, would you say "it's not for sale"?

Everything has a price, you just need to figure out what it is.

You CAN say no. So do it.

s1a1om wrote in post #16850428
If someone showed up to your house tomorrow and offered you $10 Million for it, would you say "it's not for sale"?

Everything has a price, you just need to figure out what it is.

Yup.