Have not had issue with several lens purchases from Abes. They always try to sell you a filter or something but no hard push or high pressure - just the option.
How long ago were your purchases?
Note the new Abe's of Maine is a different company than the old Abe's of Maine.
The old Abe's of Maine ("Abe's Electronics Center, Inc.") of Edison NJ, was an authorized Canon dealer and *would* ship your order if you just insisted "no" to their upsell. Unfortunately they went bankrupt in November 2012. Their prices were reliably good -- probably about $20-40 less than B&H / Adorama, a reliable discount if you could deal with the upsell call.
The company was purchased in July 2013 by "Westpark Electronics, LLC." and moved to Linden NJ. They are no longer an authorized Canon dealer. Now, I don't know if the old management are still part of the company, but the reviews have seriously turned south after this. First, their prices are low, too low -- below typical unauthorized dealer prices. Reader feedback based on many samples is: high-pressure sales technique, based on lies (as is evidenced by this thread), and if they don't get their upsell, they will hang up on you and never ship your order.
If you've had a positive experience with Abe's after July 2013 please contact me and let me know so I can adjust my understanding, but I haven't heard any positive stories of them yet. So far it's been people complaining that I don't list them -- and then ordering, realizing, and then complaining about how horrible their experience was.