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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
Tiberius
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Apr 25, 2014 03:43 |  #6571

scriveyn wrote in post #16858769 (external link)
A newspaper columnist researches for an article about a small town which is renowned for its citizens to live to a healthy old age. He gets to interview three elderly ladies ad asks them for their experiences.

Says one: I'm now 78 and still get up at six every morning doing my household and the garden all on my own. I'm not feeling tired after the day's work and I hope it stays that way for a good many years.

Says the second: I'm now 85 and I have read and still can read the newspaper without glasses every day and I hope it stays that way for a good many years.

Says the third: I'm now 92 and I'm still a virgin and I hope it stays that way for a good many years.

.

Maybe I'm just not getting it...

Is it about how a 92 year old woman is unlikely to be pursued?


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jeffjohnson123
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Apr 25, 2014 03:48 as a reply to  @ post 803082 |  #6572
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Apr 26, 2014 01:29 |  #6573

Bill's barn burned down, so he called the insurance company.

He told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money."

The agent replied, "Hold on just a minute, Bill. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new barn of comparable worth."

There was a long pause before Bill replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my wife."


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OhLook
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Apr 26, 2014 10:01 |  #6574

Tiberius wrote in post #16859884 (external link)
Maybe I'm just not getting it...

Is it about how a 92 year old woman is unlikely to be pursued?

That was my guess. Perhaps, also, she's being unrealistic about her life expectancy. The first two women are younger.


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Roy ­ Mathers
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Apr 26, 2014 10:09 |  #6575

I always feel that if you have to explain a joke it's no longer funny!




  
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20droger
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Apr 26, 2014 10:55 as a reply to  @ Roy Mathers's post |  #6576

There are those who still don't get "Take my wife....Please!"

Life just completely passes some people by.




  
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neil_r
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Apr 27, 2014 01:26 |  #6577

The joke was not that funny but the subsequent deconstruction was hilarious :-)


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Ricardo222
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Apr 27, 2014 04:53 |  #6578

neil_r wrote in post #16864167 (external link)
The joke was not that funny but the subsequent deconstruction was hilarious :-)

I thought so too.

My take on it was different though...she didn't say she wanted to stay a virgin for ever, just for a good many years. To me that meant she was still happy to change her virgin status….some time in the future. Now, at 92, there’s a woman who just isn’t in a hurry!:D


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pixelbasher
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Apr 27, 2014 04:55 |  #6579

maybe they lived in a place where there was just not quite enough beer  :p


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20droger
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May 03, 2014 17:44 as a reply to  @ pixelbasher's post |  #6580

Not a joke per se, but funnier than Hell:

As captured on a police dash cam and shown on World's Wildest Police Videos, a woman was stopped for speeding. Near the end of the stop, the officer walks back up to the woman's car and the following conversation occurs:

Woman: "I though you guys didn't give tickets to good looking young women.
Officer: "We don't. Sign here."




  
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KeithS
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May 03, 2014 21:00 as a reply to  @ 20droger's post |  #6581

In all the year I have been telling this, I have never found anyone who has heard it. The setting is in the 1800s in colonial India. The Sergeant Major is addressing the new recruits (you must add/imagine the accent when telling).

“Laddies, welcome to India. While you are here you must abide by certain rules. The first is that you never go to town alone. If you do, the locals will set upon you, beat you senseless, rob you and leave you for dead.

The second rule is that you never mess with the rogue elephant. If you do, he will grab you with his trunk, slam you to the ground and stomp you to death.

The third rule is that you avoid the Y-U Y-U (why you why you) snake. You will recognize the Y-U Y-U snake by the alternating black and orange bands around his body. If you come upon the Y-U Y-U snake, the only way to save yourself is to grab him with your left hand and run your right hand along his body and flick his head off with your thumb.”

Several weeks later, as the Sergeant Major is making his rounds, he comes upon one of the new recruits crawling in to camp-he is bloody, shredded and barely alive.

The Sergeant Major says “Ah laddie, you didn’t take my words to heart, you went into town alone.”

The recruit (struggling to get his words out), “No, sergeant Major, I did not go into town.”

The SGM “Then you must have messed with the rouge elephant,”

The recruit “No Sergeant major, I did not mess with the rouge elephant.”

“Ah, then it was the Y-U Y-U snake.”

“Yes, Sergeant major, it was the Y-U Y-U snake. I was going through the tall grass when I came upon the Y-U Y-U snake. I remembered what you told us and I recognized the Y-U Y-U snake by the alternating black and orange bands around his body, So, I grabbed him with my left hand and slid my right hand along his body preparing to flick off his head, and stuck my thumb up the arse of the biggest Bengal Tiger in all of India.”




  
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Inse
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May 13, 2014 18:47 as a reply to  @ KeithS's post |  #6582

I thought about putting this one in The Older Photographer's Thread

HERE'S ONE FOR ALL THE OLD CODGERS!!!!

There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table.
Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom.
When he returned, however, his trousers are wet all over.

'What happened, Grandpa?' asked by his concerned children.

'Well,' he answered, 'I don't really know. I had to go to the bathroom.
So I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back!'


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idsurfer
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May 13, 2014 19:54 |  #6583

Maybe I'm not old enough???


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OhLook
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May 13, 2014 22:22 |  #6584

idsurfer wrote in post #16902714 (external link)
Maybe I'm not old enough???

You might have to think about it for a while. I got the joke, and I'm not nearly male enough.


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idsurfer
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May 14, 2014 07:42 |  #6585

OhLook wrote in post #16903009 (external link)
You might have to think about it for a while. I got the joke, and I'm not nearly male enough.

Okay, after a bit more contemplation i get it...little slow last night;)


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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)
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