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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
Iancentric
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Aug 27, 2014 16:01 |  #6781

How many photographers does it take to tell a joke ?

see the above ^^^^^^^ :-)


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Aug 27, 2014 16:07 |  #6782

JasonMK wrote in post #17121116 (external link)
:lol: So, this thread has have moved on from grammar to math?

Yes, and it's time to take a side trip to proofreading.

Now I'll shut up before someone rewrites the tall-hotel joke with OhLook as a character and throws her downstairs.

Unless an irresistible straight line comes along, of course.


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Aug 27, 2014 16:29 |  #6783

a three legged dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender "have you seen my paw?"


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Aug 29, 2014 13:09 |  #6784

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said "So why are you here?"

The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything ... the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said, "So what’s the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off" came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

Then the Yellow Lab asked the Black Lab "So why are you here?"

The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired.
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper", said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, and fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see."

Yesterday my owner had just stepped out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."

The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said," So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"


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Aug 30, 2014 06:12 |  #6785

Conradebner wrote in post #17121388 (external link)
a three legged dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender "have you seen my paw?"

Surely it's "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw?" :D


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Aug 30, 2014 06:13 |  #6786

I went to see the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night. Half way through, the bloke on the triangle disappeared.


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Aug 30, 2014 08:14 |  #6787

Two strands of DNA are walking down the street. One says to the other, "Do these genes make me look fat?"


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Aug 30, 2014 15:25 |  #6788

WorkingClassHero wrote in post #17125941 (external link)
I went to see the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night. Half way through, the bloke on the triangle disappeared.

Spooky!:D


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Aug 30, 2014 16:17 as a reply to  @ Ricardo222's post |  #6789

René Descartes was sitting at the bar when the bartender asked if he wanted a re-fill.

He said "No, I don't think ..." and disappeared.


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Aug 30, 2014 16:25 |  #6790

bubbygator wrote in post #17126674 (external link)
René Descartes was sitting at the bar when the bartender asked if he wanted a re-fill.

He said "No, I don't think ..." and disappeared.

Also spooky, in a different kind of way!

I would like to think that René and the Triangle player disappeared to the same place and lived happily ever after, but I suspect that, sadly, this was not the case!


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Aug 30, 2014 16:50 |  #6791

Ricardo222 wrote in post #17126682 (external link)
...I would like to think that René and the Triangle player disappeared to the same place and lived happily ever after, but I suspect that, sadly, this was not the case!

According to Schrödinger they did and did not; we won't know until we look.


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Aug 30, 2014 16:56 as a reply to  @ JasonMK's post |  #6792

And, according to Gödel, we can't "see" everything until we look from the outside.

... but enough of the physics stuff - football is on !!


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Aug 30, 2014 17:17 |  #6793

JasonMK wrote in post #17126716 (external link)
According to Schrödinger they did and did not; we won't know until we look.

I can't wait!:D

bubbygator wrote in post #17126729 (external link)
And, according to Gödel, we can't "see" everything until we look from the outside.

Or from the outside and inside simultaneously? Like Escher?

bubbygator wrote in post #17126729 (external link)
... but enough of the physics stuff - football is on !!

In our case...the rugby is on! (And nothing trumps that here!)


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Aug 30, 2014 18:52 |  #6794

Ricardo222 wrote in post #17126753 (external link)
Or from the outside and inside simultaneously? Like Escher?

Reminds me of the old joke:

Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip? To get to the same side.


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Aug 30, 2014 19:05 |  #6795

Cute, I hadn't heard that before.


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