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FORUMS Photography Talk by Genre Weddings & Other Family Events Talk 
Thread started 15 Jul 2017 (Saturday) 19:17
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How would you have dealt with this.

 
panicatnabisco
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Jul 16, 2017 21:29 |  #31

Can't win 'em all. Just think of it as a lesson learned and move on. It's a free gig after all, it's not like you'll ever see them again.


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Colin ­ Glover
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Jul 17, 2017 05:40 |  #32

A big thanks for all your kind and funny words :-) , really cheered me up. I have a better idea how to deal with something similar now. It sure is a learning curve. Well the shots are great :-) which is good. I did try and get the guy to cover the shoulder without asking, but it wasn't happening. Once again, thanks all.


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bildeb0rg
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Jul 18, 2017 13:40 |  #33

if its permanent, (scar/tattoo/birthmark​) leave it. if its transient, (spots/hairs/boogers) remove it. she was clearly ok with the birthmark being visible, so why mention it?




  
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Roamingbull
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Jul 18, 2017 23:37 |  #34

WOW! to answer your question yes you were an ass. Now, if you were offended by that, understand I have Asperger myself and cant help it. So you see where Im going. The problem after you did this was your fault, not theirs. Most likely this person was a friend family member. Its perfectly OK to defend someone you care for, and you insulted her. Your best way out of it at that point would have been to tell them what your condition is, and hope that was OK with them.

Just taking the picture and cloning out the mark is about as bad as what you did, maybe even worse. Do you really think she does not know its there? She will notice, and that will hurt her even more. Seriously if you are not able to get these basic social skills, you should not be doing what your doing without adult supervision.

Best of luck to you...


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texkam
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Jul 19, 2017 00:10 |  #35

Consider swiching exclusively to product photography.




  
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MigsVuitton
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Jul 23, 2017 03:48 |  #36

As far as appearance goes, never assume. If they are comfortable, then there's nothing to worry about or hide. It would be different if it were a stain or rip in clothing or something. But when it has to do with their physical appearance/body, let them tell you if they have an issue.


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Dan ­ Marchant
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Jul 26, 2017 00:04 |  #37

Colin Glover wrote in post #18403164 (external link)
....coming to this situation 10 minutes later, the Asperger's brain over compensates and assumes that the subject will want to look their best.

The root of the problem is that you are actually assuming she wants to look your best, not her best. You didn't ask how she feels about it so you can't know what the thinks "her best" is. Instead you decided based on your own preference.

DaviSto wrote in post #18403320 (external link)
I think that would be exactly what the subject would have preferred. She 'owns' her birthmark but she doesn't 'proclaim' it.

But again you are presuming to know what the person wants.


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FFFCFF
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Jul 26, 2017 03:10 |  #38

My english is not to good to explain this situation but You can read Kevin Hogan books. It is very well explained wher is the line wich we should not cross in relation. Sometimes situation like this just hapends and it is not depends from as.
I do not know if I explain it right but i try. The pint is that if You touch someone hidden sorrows hi overreact of it if someone, like you, tell or do enything.
I wos not ther so I can not judge this situation. Maybe it wos not anly the words, maybe it wos ton of a vioce. Who nows.
Do not worry. Every body has situation like this. Just say sorry and live on.


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scorpio_e
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Jul 26, 2017 06:03 |  #39

My advice is do not over analyze grip and grin shots. Line people up.. get a smile from them..check the background and shoot . Don't sweat the small details like a birthmark. I don't photoshop grip and grin shots.

Tough situation.


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rob0225
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Aug 09, 2017 22:49 |  #40

You were 100% out of line and I think it's sad that you are attempting to use your disability as an excuse for the poor behavior.


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Dan ­ Marchant
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Aug 11, 2017 04:19 |  #41

rob0225 wrote in post #18423707 (external link)
You were 100% out of line and I think it's sad that you are attempting to use your disability as an excuse for the poor behavior.

Wow.... just wow..... I guess you must have Asperger Syndrome as well. Either that or you have zero concept of what it is and how it affects the way the brain works. I'm going to go with the latter... and it's you who is 100% out of line.


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DaviSto
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Aug 11, 2017 04:31 |  #42

Dan Marchant wrote in post #18424689 (external link)
Wow.... just wow..... I guess you must have Asperger Syndrome as well. Either that or you have zero concept of what it is and how it affects the way the brain works. I'm going to go with the latter... and it's you who is 100% out of line.

With you on this!


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FFFCFF
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Post edited 10 months ago by FFFCFF. (2 edits in all)
     
Aug 11, 2017 04:31 |  #43

rob0225 wrote in post #18423707 (external link)
You were 100% out of line and I think it's sad that you are attempting to use your disability as an excuse for the poor behavior.

It is not so simple as You describe it. Asperger is less autism, so it is, in simple word, like a world seen without emotion.
If He know thet it was something wrong in this situation it is worth more than $1 000 000.


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Colin ­ Glover
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Aug 11, 2017 06:51 |  #44

Thanks for your support guys. I wasn't upset by that comment, just that I didn't know how best to respond without inflaming the situation (as aspies often do unintentionally). You've said pretty much what I would have. Aspergers' people are often misunderstood. Once again, thanks.


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umphotography
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Aug 11, 2017 16:06 |  #45

Dan

Here is how you handle this in the future

" Dont ask let them tell " policy is always in place for portrait work.

Take the shots and in this case sit down after clients make the selections and ask the following

" Is there anything that you don't like about your appearance in these photos that I can correct in post processing ? "

This opens the door for them to tell you what they don't like

Your likely to get something like " My tummy sticks out too much "

Fix it right in front of them and ask again......Trust me they will tell you .... especially a woman

your heart was in the right place, you just went about it wrong

gotta be smarter than the problem

My guess is the person is fully aware of that birthmark and was OK with it as is. You stepped on her toes when you asked. Once that happened you can do nothing right.

Live and learn


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How would you have dealt with this.
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