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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
Pippan
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Sep 24, 2018 20:15 |  #7951

icopus wrote in post #18715258 (external link)
I tend to use too many "...".
... know what I mean?

We're all getting a bit dotty in our old age.


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icopus
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Sep 24, 2018 21:09 |  #7952

Pippan wrote in post #18715272 (external link)
We're all getting a bit dotty in our old age.

Hey!... that's my excuse for everything from now on! Thanks!


It's my life and I'll get pissed if I want to.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
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avondale87
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Sep 24, 2018 22:51 |  #7953

I grew a beard thinking it would say "Distinguished Gentleman." Instead, turns out it says, "Senior Discount, Please!"



Richard

  
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Hoof ­ Arted
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Sep 25, 2018 10:02 |  #7954

I hate making typos. One little mistake and my whole post is urined.




  
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icopus
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Sep 25, 2018 20:27 |  #7955

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18715723 (external link)
I hate making typos. One little mistake and my whole post is urined.

:-P Now, that's a funny right there!


It's my life and I'll get pissed if I want to.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
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Hoof ­ Arted
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Post edited 5 months ago by Hoof Arted.
     
Sep 26, 2018 06:09 |  #7956

The local car wash had a special "Brazilian Wax" so I had my truck done. Now the carpet's gone. -?




  
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avondale87
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Sep 26, 2018 06:24 as a reply to  @ Hoof Arted's post |  #7957

I read somewhere that women speak 30000 words a day and men only about half that amount.
I said that to my wife who gave me one of those looks that made me wish I'd said nothing.

Apparently has something to do with listening which I'm gathering men are not prone to do or renowned for!
I'm sure that can't be right.  :p



Richard

  
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pbigelow
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Sep 26, 2018 14:04 |  #7958

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 75.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including: Mrs, Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with many flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus, they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If you smiled while reading this, please rise to the occasion and pass it on to someone having a crumby day and kneading a lift.




  
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Roy ­ Mathers
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Sep 26, 2018 14:41 |  #7959

This story means more in the USA than here in the UK :-)




  
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avondale87
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Sep 26, 2018 15:09 as a reply to  @ pbigelow's post |  #7960

That's really well done. I soon got into the swing of what it was about.
Brilliant.



Richard

  
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CyberDyneSystems
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Post edited 5 months ago by CyberDyneSystems.
     
Sep 28, 2018 17:06 |  #7961

Roy Mathers wrote in post #18716826 (external link)
This story means more in the USA than here in the UK :-)


Substitute Paul Hollywood, and all the puns save the belly pokes still work.


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IanW
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Sep 29, 2018 12:05 |  #7962

Few of my current faves -

What did zero say to eight?
- Nice belt.

In a recent survey, apparently 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.

One day on a boating lake . . . . .
Manager "Boat number 9 come on in, your time is up"
Assistant "Sir we don't have a boat number 9"
Manager "Boat number 6 are you having problems?"

:) :) :) :)


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Yongnuo YN-622C | Kenko Tubes | LEE Filters | Manfrotto 055CXPRO3+498RC2, 694CX

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backn4th
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Sep 29, 2018 15:28 |  #7963

A friend of mine had problems 'upstairs'
He couldn't decide if he was a wigwam or a teepee
Finally went to a doctor who ran a number of tests on him
Doctor called him in to discuss the results
Tests showed nothing wrong with him, but doctor did say 'you're too tense (tents)

Now that sounds like a dad joke!:-P




  
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Hoof ­ Arted
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Oct 01, 2018 15:46 |  #7964

In the Star Wars movies was Yoda's last name "Layeehoo"?




  
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Hoof ­ Arted
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Oct 04, 2018 05:24 |  #7965

We didn't have enough dirty dishes to run the dishwasher so I washed a spoon and two coffee cups by hand. It felt like I was living back in the old west days.




  
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)
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