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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
icopus
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Oct 26, 2018 13:45 |  #8026

OhLook wrote in post #18736991 (external link)
That used to be a photographer. He lived so closely with foxes that he turned into one. So be careful!

Ooooh! Well, that would explain what happened to my neighbor after he started work at the sewage plant.


It's my life and I'll get pissed if I want to.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
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rrblint
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Oct 26, 2018 13:53 |  #8027

OhLook wrote in post #18736983 (external link)
He can gawk at the other guests and eat all the snacks. If he also has an invisible camera, he can get lots of candids.

He can also drink all the spiked punch and not be noticed as "the life of the party".


Mark

  
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backn4th
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Oct 26, 2018 19:38 |  #8028

I hate it when my friends shorten my name to Dick
Especially since my name is Stephen




  
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AZGeorge
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Post edited 3 months ago by AZGeorge. (2 edits in all)
     
Oct 26, 2018 19:46 |  #8029

Joe: Why do we have to learn all that punctuation and capitalization nonsense?

Teacher: Decide for yourself:

  • "I was discouraged and gave up wine for a year."
  • "I was discouraged and gave up. Wine for a year!"
If you can't see the difference, please supply me with the key to your parents' wine cellar and everything will become clear.

(Yes my spouse is a teacher, but we are still together after all these years.)

George
Democracy Dies in Darkness

  
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Spencerphoto
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Oct 26, 2018 20:00 |  #8030

One snowman said to another, "Can you smell carrots?"


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Spencerphoto
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Oct 26, 2018 20:03 |  #8031

I once fell into an upholstery machine. It's OK though - I'm fully recovered.


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icopus
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Oct 26, 2018 20:12 |  #8032

AZGeorge wrote in post #18737328 (external link)
Joe: Why do we have to learn all that punctuation and capitalization nonsense?

Teacher: Decide for yourself:
  • "I was discouraged and gave up wine for a year."
  • "I was discouraged and gave up. Wine for a year!"
If you can't see the difference, please supply with the key to your parents" wine cellar and everything will become clear.
...[/I]

Remove the punctuation and the meaning is entirely different -
I helped my uncle, Jack, off the horse.


It's my life and I'll get pissed if I want to.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
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AZGeorge
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Oct 26, 2018 20:22 |  #8033

icopus wrote in post #18737352 (external link)
Remove the punctuation and the meaning is entirely different -
I helped my uncle, Jack, off the horse.

That's probably funny, perhaps even at the coffee snort level, but most of us here are so pure and naive we won't get it. Do you have anything good on monks and illuminated manuscripts?


George
Democracy Dies in Darkness

  
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icopus
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Oct 27, 2018 10:30 |  #8034

AZGeorge wrote in post #18737361 (external link)
That's probably funny, perhaps even at the coffee snort level, but most of us here are so pure and naive we won't get it. Do you have anything good on monks and illuminated manuscripts?

A student monk is on one side of a raging river. There are no bridges. He has no boat. He shouts out to the master on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?” The master shouts back: “You are on the other side.”


It's my life and I'll get pissed if I want to.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
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OhLook
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Oct 27, 2018 11:04 |  #8035

AZGeorge wrote in post #18737361 (external link)
Do you have anything good on monks and illuminated manuscripts?

A monk took his pen up at Bruges
To document all the day's news.
"We have a new abbot
Who feeds us on rabbit
And won't let us walk without shoes."


PRONOUN ADVISORY: OhLook is a she. | A FEW CORRECT SPELLINGS: lens, aperture, amateur, hobbyist, per se, raccoon, whoa, more so (2 wds.), shoo-in | IMAGE EDITING OK

  
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backn4th
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Oct 27, 2018 18:46 |  #8036

A bloke tried to get in to an exclusive nightclub
Doorman said 'Sorry, I can't let you in unless you're wearing a tie'
Bloke went back to his car, rummaged through and found a set of jumper leads (jumper cables for some POTN'ers)
Tied them on as best he could to look like a tie
Walked back to the nightclub, doorman looked him up and down and said
'I'll let you in, as long as you promise not to start anything'




  
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normware
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Oct 31, 2018 10:29 |  #8037

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18733357 (external link)
I think Canada legalized marijuana to help them cope with living next to America.


No we did it to piss the off the US Politicians.


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icopus
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Nov 03, 2018 19:51 |  #8038

The following may not be what the OP had in mind, but in the interest of ... dark humor(?), I throw out the following ---

When You Gotta Go...
---------------
Blue Moon-
In 1995, two pilots and a navigator were flying a warplane in a U.S. Navy training exercise. When another warplane flew up beside them, the three men stripped off their clothes and mooned the other plane, pressing their buttocks against the cockpit glass. But to get their clothes off, they had to remove their oxygen masks. They quickly lost consciousness, and the plane plunged to the ground, killing all three.

Love Lifted Them-
Frauke Punz and Ulf Lech worked together at a steel mill in Essen, Germany, and were secretly dating. The day their plant was to close for a month long summer break, they snuck into an elevator for a romantic liaison. Unaware that Punz and Lech were in the elevator, everybody left for vacation and maintenance shut off the electricity. Their bodies were discovered a month later.

- both printed here without permission from Uncle John's Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader


It's my life and I'll get pissed if I want to.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
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Roy ­ Mathers
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Nov 04, 2018 04:27 |  #8039

These are jokes?




  
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icopus
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Nov 04, 2018 08:35 |  #8040

Roy Mathers wrote in post #18743537 (external link)
These are jokes?

"The following may not be what the OP had in mind, but in the interest of ... dark humor(?), I throw out the following ---"


It's my life and I'll get pissed if I want to.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)
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