Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

While driving past McDonalds I saw a little baby ghost in the parking lot but my wife thinks it could have been a napkin.

My buddy said that when he puts his kids to bed he'll read them a couple of these jokes, gently kiss them on the forehead, and say "This is why you have to stay in school."

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18883811
When I was little I thought sex was just kissing while you were naked. One time I got out of the shower and kissed our cat on the head but then remembered I was naked and ran downstairs crying and said that I just had sex with the cat. You shoulda seen my mom's face.

When I were likkle sex was sumfin that the posh people had their coal delivered in

Knock-Knock

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed at the next worship service, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10' Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.' Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'

My 3 favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Pippan
But that's only 2 things

Pippan
Really enjoyed that joke
backn4th

backn4th wrote in post #18889397
Pippan
Really enjoyed that joke
backn4th

LOL me too. Clever language jokes are the best!

There was girl who was a prostitute, but her grandmother
didn't know about her occupation.

One day, the police rounded up a group of pros and the girl
was busted. The cops had all the girls lined up against a
wall of the street where they were caught soliciting.

Just then the granny walked by and saw her granddaughter,
she asked the girl, "What are you lining up for?"

The granddaughter, not willing to reveal the truth, told her
grandmother that she was lining up for some free oranges.

Well, grandma, not one for passing up something free,
joined the back of the line. A policeman who was going
down the lineup taking information from each girl, soon
reached the grandmother.

He was stunned and bewildered to see her so, he asked
carefully, "Ma'am, you're rather old to be out here, how
do you still do it?"

Grandma proudly replied, "Oh, it's easy, I just take out
my teeth and suck 'em dry."

The large print giveth. The small print taketh away.

The power of a comma...

Dad, Mom's not getting any better, come home!

vs

Dad, Mom's not getting any, better come home!

"My eyes are up here." - gift horses, maybe

During coffee break on the International Space Station one of the astronauts said "I can't open this little packet of coconut milk." Another replied "In space no one can. Here, use cream."

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18891139
During coffee break on the International Space Station one of the astronauts said "I can't open this little packet of coconut milk." Another replied "In space no one can. Here, use cream."

Such a groaner!

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18891139
During coffee break on the International Space Station one of the astronauts said "I can't open this little packet of coconut milk." Another replied "In space no one can. Here, use cream."

OhLook wrote in post #18891273
Such a groaner!

Ok, showing my ignorance here, I just don’t understand that one